Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Deepest Condolensces to the Hudson Family

This week I was terribly shocked by the news of Jennifer Hudson's family tragedy. My heart just bled for the whole situation and even more so for a woman who has had to deal with three deaths in one weekend, one of them being the sweet little life of a beautiful little boy. I cannot imagine the anguish she must be experiencing right now, it's some tough stuff. They remain in my prayers, for healing. And also for the proper persecution of this violent maniac. Let him get the sentence he so richly deserves!

Though I must say that it is good that events like this put issues of domestic violence under magnified scrutiny. It's easy to go through life and if you're a young woman, get on with dating and looking for the right mate without remembering how important it is to observe a man's character.

An abuser does not have a specific look, or face or body size or any way by which you could physically identify him. ANY man has potential to be a psycho. I trust my intuition i.e. The Holy Spirit to inform me in such a way that I don't end up getting blinded by looks or "charm" or any of that of what would masquerade the lunacy of a true psychopath. The most sexy, hot or good-looking guy could be just the one who will kill you out of rage one day and that's a scary thing. That tells me that I should have my head screwed on right at all times and be wise and aware and look beyond the surface of a man's behaviour towards me.

"The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker gave an insightful list of PINS - pre-incident indicators. Man, how true those are. A very harmless but revealing interaction I had with a member of the species one day in a taxi revealed it all to me. Going through the PINS in my head. I noticed that he struck every single one with what he was saying, how he was saying it and what he was doing. For the record, nothing happened to me and I don't know for sure what his motives were but I got the hell away after the taxi came to a halt, I'm alright but it was for the most part a wonderful real-life indication of how a potential perpetrator will operate in order to coast in close enough to pounce. Awareness. Of course, if you're a member of the species reading this, you have no idea what the hell I am on about and probably will never know because that's just how little men understand the plight and day-today struggles of women in the world. I thank God for all the protection I have had that I have never fallen prey to any such madness but I bear in mind and keep close to my heart the experiences of women all over this world. The rape, the domestic violence, the sexual harrassment, the killing, the trafficking - how men with diseased minds continue to perpetuate terror in the lives of my sisters. Protests and Awareness months are not enough. This situation changes when women's attitudes begin to change. When women stop thinking in terms of docility, submissiveness and tolerance of male hegemony. As your tolerance weakens, your strength begins to proliferate. Whether it's strength to face your family with a "failed" marriage, strength to be single and walk alone, strength to rough it out on your own financially until things get better. Sisters have to get strong and stop tolerating the madness.

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