Star-finding, trailblazing, observing, discovering, learning and most of all, encouraging and urging the female pursuit of traditionally male academic fields of study...and some other things as well.
Yes, Cuba...it's been a dismal series of movie roles since that winning "Show me the money" shot. Even found yourself doing Disney movies. Snowdogs! Enough said.
And then there's that man who plays the lead in that mediocre action programme, Leverage, Timothy Hutton. If you had told me, without prope pictorial evidence that he won an oscar, I really wouldn't believe it.
Finally, the man himself, Louis Gosset Jr. That I can understand but what a tragedy it's all turned out to be post the era of "Fight the Power" and afro hair-dos. And if it were not for these Heineken beer ads we seem to be getting over here...the "What are you doing Dave?" thing. I swear I wouldn't even remember who this man is.
But others may perceive you as slightly deranged or of the notion that others are less than relative to you. I don't like having to dismiss people when I have that urge to be alone. It comes across as a bit insulting but that is the intended motive. To diss someone. Sometimes, I just prefer my own company, some silence and the space to be unabashedly authentic.
I often find that in order to be truly myself around someone, I must trust them enough. This often takes time. This may be a result of my upbringing. I can't tell but if you and me aren't cool, there is no way you'll really get to see the real side of my personality.
Walking alone is also very convenient. You get where you need to in your own time and at your own pace without having to accomnodate the wishes of another. Writing alone is perhaps the only way I can write and that includes academic writing. When I want to grasp the concept of something, there must be enough silence for me to hear my thoughts otherwise, I become confused and fail to absorb anything.
Although I do balance alone-time with the presence of company, I do not find being alone unbearable, in fact, I've grown to like it not because I am timid and self-conscious. Simply because I have found myself most capable of stronger mental activity when I am by myself and surrounded by complete and utter silence.
Thank you Lady Gaga for pointing out what may sound cliche by now but should never cease to be spoken of. Double-standards when it comes to naming female and male sexuality differently. Why it becomes a conquest for the latter has plenty to do with once again, a very rigid definition of patriarchal masculinity.
This song is excellent for this topic by the way.
o-What am i not s'pposed to have an opinion? Should i be quiet to speak because i'm a woman? Call me a bitch (bitch) cause i speak what's on my mind Guess it's easier for you to swallow if i sat and smiled
The ads that are showing up on my page are interesting to say the least. "Ukrainian Wives" up for sale. Mail-order brides are a big deal especially when they come from Russia, Ukraine, the Phillipines and various other countries in the world. Aside from the obvious reasons I can identify that would place a demand on such a woman, the normalization of this trend is profoundly disturbing. Women, of course, being commodified is no big deal. I tried to google the phrase "Ukrainian Husbands" and hardly anything on that topic showed up. In fact, what did show up was a mass of ads for the opposite as well as articles on the topic of mail-order brides. Hmmm. Anyone who tries to argue that our world is no longer sexist needs to open their eyes to small examples such as this one.
The tragedy is that women are all to eager to have themselves objectified because they are trapped in a system that normalizes and condones the sexist treatment of women. As George Orwell portrayed in Nineteen Eighty-Four, when there are no standards of comparison in one's mind, social injustice cannot be seen for what it really is. A dehumanization, a rape of the soul. Unless young girls and boys are shown a better way, they will only perpetuate this rotten system of male domination and female submission in all its forms.
I have always had a latent aversion to this book series. The covers just put me off to begin with. Then their titles. Another thing I may not have noticed, which jump-started my aversion in the first place was the propagation of traditional gender norms upon which every single story line is based.
The books are highly branded and are often in a separate section of bookshops and libraries from the other paperback fiction and romance novels. Common themes are rich, ennobled and initially unattainable males (often of Mediterranean--especially Greek--origin), the desire of a character to have a baby (with this being thwarted by infertility or an unsympathetic husband), and the breakup and mending of a relationship.
Exactly. Why all the brothers have to be of European descent (and moneyed by the way) not only attempts to reinforce a notion that women are mostly in it for the money but also the idea that the heterosexual Caucasian male is the ultimate symbol for status, money and power.
The more I understand about patriarchy and its many functions and manifestations in society, ads like this no longer seem to be much of a surprise.
The fact that even boys are included in this imagery is even more surprising to me. Yes, I understand misogyny plays a role in the sexualization of women, especially younger women in public media. That's also nothing new. But boys too. Really.
Aside from the latent homosexual rape theme, the ad seems to try and make analogous sex-slavery with the hold that a smoking habit takes on a person. Which is in a way making light of a very serious issue that cannot be viewed in a comical way no matter what the weather.
Some movies just never go out of style. I always laugh. Always. The Garth-look i.e. jeans, T-shirt of any random design and tartan shirt. Oh, it's the look baby. I rock it regularly. It's so comfortable. I fit right in with the science geeks rocking this one.
Ashamed as I am to admit this. I am strangely turned on by Dana Carvey when he plays Garth. I think he's kind of cute, you know? No, you probably don't...LOL!
Is it or isn't it a gender thing. Any time I see a couple driving out together, the guy is always behind the wheel. As I started to focus my attention on gender roles that are conditioned into the mind's of boys and girls growing up, I immediately began to tie this pattern to the way in which upbringing plays a part in all this.
In my own family which likes to hold true to traditional gender roles, there always seemed to be an underlying belief that driving is more of a manly thing to do. That this fact shows in the notion that boys start to drive, on average before girls do and are usually apparently "better" drivers.
Some comments at Freakonomics spoke of how this pattern relates quite directly to how patriarchal ideas inform men that they should be in control as a means of properly asserting masculinity. So, in a sense, the car is quite clearly a strong phallic symbol. One which affords a boy or man a feeling of dominance and power. Seldom can you find a brother that is secure enough in his masculinity to let you take the driver's seat just because.
After enlightening myself about the different forms in which patriarchal ideas of masculinity show themselves, the senseless killing of a yet another UCT student has taken place. The reason why I look toward this as an explanation is owed to the fact that none of the boys that were attacked were robbed or mugged of any of their possessions. In essence, the murder was gratuitous. Yet these are the ways in which our culture encourages men to exert their masculinity. This if course being a more extreme form but a violent one nevertheless. The key word here. Even in its most subtlest forms when boys are raised up identifying a violent nature with their masculinity, they only become more violent as a means of asserting this especially when insecurities about one's self occur. No, I am no psychologist. But it makes plenty of sense to me for one who feels, at their core inadequate or powerless to find external means of expressing power to overcompensate enough to temporarily remove feelings of weakness. Gang violence is a wonderful example of this model of behaviour. A socially-disadvantaged underclass inhabiting forgotten, poor and dilapidated parts of a city will turn to the use of guns and various other weapons to strike fear into the hearts of their community. As a means of elevating oneself from the pangs of powerlessness in a system that does not care and does not seek to care for you as an individual, as a human being.
Guns, a phallic symbol in a patriarchal world will continue to be the main form of communication that men utilize to enforce power over others until these false conceptions of manhood that have been drilled into all of us are removed.
It is my wish for every boy and man to read this book and come to fully comprehend the pathology of the false conceptions of manhood and masculinity which patriarchal notions continue to propagate...
Many of the problems I encounter mentally with Men's Magazines ala FHM and Maxim, GQ, XXL blah-di-blah-di-blah-blah stems from the idea that women, in order to be considered attractive, must prime themselves up to look and resemble women that are considered "hawt" in these glossy tomes. Women begin to view themselves through the male gaze and alter their appearances in line with male expectations or standards of beauty.
I have to say, though there may have been a point in my life where I succumbed to this pressure. I no longer do and I make it a conscious point to consider my own opinions and wishes above external expectations. In essence, I have that devil-may-care attitude and dress with the intention of expressing all of what I respresent. The androgyny, the punk-rocker/hip-hop head, the artiste...it's an outer representation of all that is within. It is awful to acknowledge that young girls mould themselves around the ideals of the male gaze. Why else would women appear in demeaning, sexualized videos, magazines, movies. Clearly they have normalized the idea of objectifying their bodies for the consumption of a patriarchal culture that condones fear, hate and disrespect of women.
This of course, was inspired by SWPD's err of a post which he eventually corrected after some commenters stated what would be obvious to a feminist woman but not so much to a man that has been raised in a culture of patriarchy that insists on evaluating women solely on their appearance.
These levels of superficiality usually annoy me. But what annoys me more is the fact that those who consider themselves privileged in society seem to think that they get to decide who's hot and who's not and that rest of us should just nod our heads in silent agreement. John Mayer is a great example right now. Talking about Kerry Washington and Holly Robinson Pete being attractive in the eyes of DudeBro X and how that justifies their true attractiveness. Man...these m'fers. So tired. Just so tired.
If only all of us could think a bit more in these terms (including me). We're all guilty. Each one of us. Eluding the forces around us that compel our minds to create divisions where none should exist is hard work. But it is a work that must be done. Consciously. Each day, each minute, each second. "I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me" - precisely.
Hello, 24 hours and what do I miss. John Mayer gives a ridiculous interview in Playboy and makes some iffy statements that nobody should actually be paying attention to because I feel as if he is being rewarded for his deliberate attention-seeking ways by being given attention. I did not even read the interview in full. But Black Snob offered some opinions and insight and so have racalicious
Why am I even bothering to talk about this guy. I don't know. This celebrity-obsessed culture of ours. Douchebags will always be douchebags.
But hold on...despite my embarrassment in the fact that I am paying attention to this absurd interview. I should say this. I am in no way despaired by the fact that he doesn't find women of African descent attractive. As Snob said, that is his business. We all have preferences anyway. This somehow kind of reminds me of the way in which black men will gloat it in your face that they are dating a non-black woman. As if some kind of vengeance is being taken on the collective black female population for reasons unmentioned. I take it they have past heartbreaks that cause them to hold grudges. Why everybody in everybody's business. I don't know that brother at the mall who is with a white girl. Who is he? Don't know. Should I be jealous for someone who I am not only not attracted to at all but do not even know? I don't know John Mayer. There's no reason for me to feel awful about his statements. It really is his business. As it always should be. Attraction to someone usually transcends the superficial. Someone can be attractive but have zero levels of class, zero morals, zero personality and zero character. would that person be suitable for a long-term or serious affair. Heck no. That's that. The opinions and beliefs of strangers on the street, on the telly or wherever bear no importance to my emotional, personal well being or sustenance.
I read The Thing Around Your Neck last month. I found it beautiful. This woman is brilliant. So talented. Really don't know what else to say that could suffice to express the levels of admiration I have for her. She's going to go far. I can see it already. This is only the beginning.
For some reason, I only got the chance to see this now. But wow, she expressed this issue so concisely. "The Danger of the Single Story" is essentially that it inhibits us from seeing more of how things are. More of who people are. It limits us. She summarised this wonderfully in her closing sentence.
"When we reject the single story, when we realise that there is never any single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise."
There is so much truth in just about everything she spoke of. She makes me so proud to be an African today.
It's funny that humans only decide to begin taking stern measures against disaster-prevention after something catastrophic has taken place. It's taken this. The lives of almost 200 000 people to focus in on the danger of the fault line located near Port-au-Prince to bring attention to the fact that early earthquake detection is really needed for the nation of Haiti.As it looks, geologists predict that it is only going to worsen.
The earthquake has increased the stress on this eastern section of the fault south of Port-au-Prince and the section west of the rupture. This has significantly increased the risk of a future earthquake, according to a recent report by the U.S. Geological Survey.
False-color composite image of the Port-au-Prince, Haiti region, taken Jan. 27, 2010 by NASA’s UAVSAR airborne radar. The city is denoted by the yellow arrow; the black arrow points to the fault responsible for the Jan. 12 earthquake. Image credit: NASA
Taken from this NASA article discussing how scientists in this field will use radar image capturing to detect motions and pressures building up within the Earth's crust over periods of time. These satellite images will be fundamental for earthquake detections especially along fault zones such as that of what caused the Haitian earthquake some weeks ago.
This image will be combined with other images of the same area to be acquired later this month and in the future in order to measure the motion of Earth’s surface during the time between images using a technique called interferometry.The interferometric measurements will allow scientists to study the pressures building up and being released on the fault at depth.
It does wonders on the psyche. You feel better able to press forward, embrace the new and leave behind old inhibtors, negative belief-systems, mind-traps that were all the more difficult to escape from in that old place. But when your body now inhabits a new place, your mind seems to follow suit. You even see yourself differently, perhaps even begin to see things for what they are. Old illusions too are left behind.
Was not the least bit surprised last week after hearing that
Zuma has fathered his 20th kid out of wedlock. In fact, I quite remember walking out of the house to take out the trash with the phrase "chronic babydaddy" running through my head. It's in his nature. He's part of that lame group of the populous that defends their debauchery and lack of self-discipline with power and privilege. They're a lot of them. Yes, all the US senators and mayors that have ever been involved a sex scandals. Sportsmen that take on any ole groupie that happens to be flashing her cleavage on their way out of the arena. Can't keep their c**ks away. Just can't do it. The poor babies.
After the trial, he apologized to the nation, saying: “I erred in having unprotected sex. I should have known better.”
You know? This one kind of goes without saying.
In an interview at the World Economic Forum in Davos on Jan. 28, Zuma defended the practice of polygamy and said he treated all his wives equally.
“That’s my culture,” Zuma said. “People interpret culture in different ways. Some people think their culture is superior to others. That’s a problem which we need to deal with.”
And some people think that their GENDER is superior to others. Foolishness! (thank you Niecey Nash). Using the culture argument as usual. Typical African male chauvinist. Will protect your ability to sleep around as much as you want to instead of leading, governing and attempting to improve the state of the nation that you happen to be president of. Yes, I acknowledge that perfection does not exist. But try, just try like Obama does to uphold a certain creed of moral values. You are the leader, we are all meant to follow you. But how can we when most of us are of the opinion that given the chance, we could sure as heck do a better job than you and your sexist, power-obsessed crew are doing.
As if it's not awful enough that citizens of Port au Prince have lost their everything. That foolish individuals are still taking vacationary trips to Haiti to BBQ and jet skii. That young men are being shot down for wanting to have some rice for their hungry stomachs. Kids. Vulnerable young orphaned children are being trafficked out of the country. What kind of madness is it? It's difficult to imagine the kind of chaos that now ensues after the quake. The safety of kids must always take priority. It breaks my heart to know what kind of evils that are perpetrated against children. But to stand by and let it happen is to be a participant. I hope that greater measures will be taken to ensure the children of Haiti are kept safe from these criminals.
Has sort of begun in my life. I've changed my mind about ways in which I approached matters in life. It's funny how a single event or two can just twist your mindset on its head and force you to rethink. Take a chance in life. Break away from old inhibitors. For once, I did so. I found the courage somehow. Galvanised.
She has taken the gong for best supporting actress at the Golden Globes this year. I am just routing for her to do a straight clean sweep this award reason. It will be wonderful to watch. Boy. If she takes the Oscar. I'll just be over the moon for her. More power.
This weekend I fell victim to a violent familial assault based on a very common error in judgement that people make when dealing with black people of varying shades. It is basic knowledge that within the black race, there are alternating degrees of brown intensity. No big deal you may think. But black people who don't observe patterns of behaviour that are informed by social heirarchies easily succumb to these negative habits. The darkest of us are considered the worst off. The lighter ones in an apparently better position. I'm not just talking about beauty. That's old ass. There's more. It's character interpretation I'm talking about here.
Religious iconography and ideas linked with the darker shades on the spectrum are especially guilty of perpetuating notions that sit in people's subconscious minds. Informing the ways in which they choose to perceive others.
Taking the example of my family for instance. Deeply religious and mad about Jesus. There seems to exist a spirit of white worship and black hatred latent in discussions I observe. I can't help but think that the way in which the Bible narrates in terms of dark and light, beast and angel (mostly so in Revelations) has some impact on the way in which devoutly religious people view race. I see this in my family's insistence on the notion that I am apparently possessed by an evil spirit whenever I express my displeasure of an issue. Hmmm...I can't help but think that the fact that my skin is deeply dark gives them more reason to associate me with mystical, imaginary ideas such as demons. It is quite an insistence that over time I began to parody it in the former title of my blog. That my dark skin often seems to impress on people even those in my family that there is something diabolical about my character and motives. The more ignorant one is of the true nature of dark black people on an individualistic level, the easier it is for them to depend upon these generalizations. I say, Educate thyself. Black people are not exempt from this either. Even I have fallen prey to these patterns of thinking.
Natural disasters are always sad to see happen. But when nature wreaks havoc on a nation so impoverished as Haiti, it's even worse. All I can say is that my heart goes out to all those people that have lost their livelihoods. Can't even begin to imagine being in that situation. But it makes me so much more grateful for what I have. Really nothing to complain about when you witness this kind of tragedy.
"Time keeps on slipping, slipping into the future" sings Seal in his beautiful mid-tempo ballad 'Fly Like An Eagle'. So it does. Eleven days ago we entered a new decade. Now new announcements are being made with respect to the most well-known and popular of all SNS's - facebook:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/craig-kanalley/facebook-privacy-concerns_b_418031.html
No more privacy. That's it. We are steadily reaching what many a futuristic novel have predicted. Alongside the surrepticious surveillance of spy satellites, a social networking site that once took so much pride in maintaining a code of privacy for its users and attracted more as a result of this policy is bulldozing our carefully constructed virtual walls and leaving us bare, naked and exposed for all who have the interest to gape into the intricate workings of our personal lives. Yey! Even more reason to get all deceptive and fake like many a user on myspace. People sought facebook for the kind of transparency that would only be safe to reveal among those one knows from real world i.e vis-à-vis interactions. Now that all is open to whomever, it's right back to the type of guarded artificiality which emerges from the motivations caused by self-preservation. There really aren't that many absolutely nonchalant people out there. That will tolerate drunken pics on their profiles knowing that Seung Chi in Bangkok will have a giggle at pics of Gina and Casey from California taking part in some drunken exhibitionist snogging at a frat party. Or Themba in Durban smoking a blunt with his boys and his boss seeing this and then second guessing his presence at the company. Or worse, that creep from down the road who you catch staring at you on the subway manages to find your info on facebook and takes his stalking to another level. Dangers that we are all smart enough to identify unless you happen to be a money hungry CEO looking to increase revenue by opening up the site to companies hoping to get a piece of the facebook marketing pie. It's all about the money honey. But why let your integrity and good knowledge be subdued by greed? Lame question huh. One may never know until they get into the kind of wealth that this kid has accumulated. Power corrupts absolutely indeed.
This is why I am so hooked on and thankful for the SWPD blog . The posts are insightful, loaded with truth and universal. The same kind of racism exists almost everywhere. The two most recent posts which address the issue of the stereotype of the Strong and/or Angry Black Woman have brought me so much peace knowing that there are Black women out there who are experience what I do and have just about had enough of being treated in ways that suggest that we are not human like whites are. All I could really say after reading the following comments was "Finally, someone has said it!" And in such a concise, eloquent and dignified way.
For instance, when examining why no one chose to speak up against some of the ironically demonstrative comments toward Black women, Witchsistah notes:
This constant non-defending of BW comes directly from the stereotype of BW not being "real" women as in not being seen as delicate, feminine, worthy of care, affection and protection. We are seen as "mules uh duh worl'" and as rhino-hided, she-beasts utterly incapable of delicate, complex feelings or thoughts. Basically no one defends us because we can "take it." It also leads to the idea that BW cannot ever be harmed (from this comes the view that BW are un-rapeable).
So I'm just going to leave off with words by RVCBard, and then a few more by Witchsistah:
When Black women talk about their experiences as Black women here at SWPD, people (particularly White people, but at times other WoC as well), tend to respond with knee-jerk contradictions (typically betraying a lack of true engagement with the content) or remain silent.
For me, personally, it would be nice to see more comments make a more proactive attempt to engage with Black women in a more constructive way.
How about treating Black women as if we are, first of all, human? Yeah, it goes without saying, but from how we're treated, I'm not always sure people truly assume that from jump street. How about treating Black women like women and not disobedient children? Again, it goes without saying, but from what I've seen, I'm not sure if a lot of you really grasp that. How about treating Black women as though our lives are important to us? Once more, it goes without saying, but the things I've seen make me question whether you genuinely understand that.
IMO, there will be less explosive fireworks and fewer ruffled feathers if more people started showing us that they are operating from these very basic foundational concepts.
In the long run, we find black girls growing up knowing that the face they must present to the world is one of strength and resilience simply because in having nobody care, show remorse of compassion for their struggle they learn that feelings which display vulnerability are to be hidden. Because if you show them...well, nobody will give a shit. You are supposed to be strong. You are supposed to take anything. You are basically supposed to not operate as a human being with emotion does.
Then there is that Angry Black Woman stereotype which annoys me because while anger is a veritably human emotion (something we all experience at some point or another), when a Black woman shows this emotion, this fact is used as justification for the preconceived idea of the Angry Black Woman. You are immediately identified not as a person experiencing anger at that particular moment but are viewed as an angry person in general. Which again, nullifies the fact that you are simply human as everyone else is. If a white person were to express anger, they would not be labelled an angry person but one would only say that they are just angry at that certain moment. So, many Black women find themselves going out of their way to avoid expressing negative emotions due to the fact that any display of these will be used against them (to justify their instrinsic savagery) or will be given as a substantiation for any subsequent abuse the Black woman will face as a result i.e. "She deserved to be hit, she was talking out of her mouth."
Often any display of assertiveness is met with a comment about how much of an "attitude" you have. By not playing out your expected role of "servant", you are in violation and must be reminded of your place. The fact that you are not being submissive makes you a deviant i.e. a woman with a so-called "attitude". Again, denial of humanity. A Black women is not allowed to lay down boundaries and assert herself as whites have the privilege of doing without anyone questioning their choices.
Since many men come with the expectation that Black women are hypersexual (courtesy of rap videos), without saying Black women are expected to act lasciviously and without restraint. Failure to do this again usually ends in some form of insult. The sting of rejection from a Black woman is just too much. We are the ones who are supposed to be down with absolutely anything - the apparent "dregs of humanity". A rejection from one of us surely must be a diss.
Before reading these blog extracts today, the thought came to mind. The behaviours I have observed have often times surprised me. When I thought, "Is this person for real?" Why feel it okay to call me a "bitch" when you have no idea who I am? Or think that I would engage in intimate relations with you when I have no idea who the hell you are? It's failure to recognise the fact that people are individuals and not archetypes. In dismissing individulaity one will assume that they know a complete stranger quite well enough already and will treat them according to those very preconceived ideas borne out of ignorance.
I have heard men speak up about the same psychological process which takes place in their own growing years. When a boy is conditioned into false concepts of manhood, he is taught that it is unlike a man to show vulnerable emotions and act sensitively. This is "sissy" behaviour and mor derogatorily seen as something a "gayboy" would do. I don't think that this is good either. I have said before that I disagree heavily with socially-defined ideas on manhood. That Black women are made to undergo the same process of development can be seen as a masculinization of Black women.
Being a Black woman myself, I know exactly how this proces works. All too well. In encounters I have where people feel they can dump their hatred and anger on me without any kind of remorse for their actions, I identify an inablity on those individual's parts to see me as a person that could potentially take some injury from that level of abuse. I see it in those individuals who acted out verbally or physically because I chose, as I have a right to, to assert my own wishes. They expected obedience from me (again disregarding my humanity) and because I showed no interest in being their puppet, I deserved to be aimed at as a target for scorn or mistreatment. These are men I am talking about mind you. Childish - throwing toys when their wishes are not met. "From the nipple to the bottle never satisfied!"
Essentially, these people also believed in the notion of female servitude. So strongly in fact that it was a cause for concern when a woman did not obey them. CHAUVINISM. So again. When it comes to treatment of Black women - racism and sexism are inextricably linked. Everything I speak of here is my own explanation for what I have experienced. There may be alternative explanations but from the commonality of this kind of treatment as seen at SWPD, it certainly is no co-incidence to me.
According to this article about the song "She'a A B****" by Missy Elliot, the song aimed to somewhat parody the critics who labelled here with the derogatory term as well as empower herself by making light of the word and using it rather as a way of portraying her strong-will. But while she is portraying herself in this light, we must remember that she has other aspects of her that would express a vulnerability and humanity we all have. Missy has spoken about her history of severe emotional and sexual abuse. This affected her as it would anyone else. But she has overcome it and gone on to become arguably the best female rapper in history. An icon in her own right. Yeah, you've got to love her.
This week, the president of South Africa - Jacob Zuma - married his fifth wife Nompumelelo Ntuli in a traditional Zulu ceremony at his Nkandla homestead. Fifth, yes, fifth. Polygamy happens to be a legal sport in this nation I find myself residing in. It is absolutely fine, under our country's constitution, for a man to wed more than one woman and have each of these marriages lawfully recognised and registered under the Home Affairs database.
What protects these ludicrous ideas? Tradition. Long-standing tradition than modern pan-Africanists believe European imperialist powers have tried to remove in their attempt to control trade during colonial days. It's quite clear this side of the argument is merely a guise under which misogynistic ideals that substantiate this commodification of women are concealed. With this anti-colonialist stance, traditionalist South African men are hoping to protect their supposed male privilege which makes them feel they have the right to own women and engage in intimate relations with more than one woman at a time without the weight of being accused of adultery. Even more so, those in support of polygamy believe it is somewhat better for men to be given the right under law to have more than one wife than to revel in illicit affairs on the down low with their mistresses.
Progress is gender equality. Gender equality is the future as far as I am concerned. These kind of practices simply do not belong in the fabric modern society. They are primitive and demeaning. When the president of a country does nothing more than collect women in the manner one would collect prized posessions, how can problems such as wage gaps and violence against women be properly addressed. At the root of the patholgies that cause men to appropriate and disrespect female bodies is the notion that women are somehow inferior and should take their role as weak and powerless submissives in society. Which limits them from being taken seriously (as men are) in the workplace and in parliament. And also encourages men to beat their imperiously beat their wives up. Seek extra-maritial affairs without guilt or concern for the psychological implications this will have on the various members of the household. And simply treat women not as fellow human beings but rather as members of some sort of subhuman race of people that happen to exist alongside them and on who, ironically enough, they are intrinsically and desperately dependant for just about...everything in their lives including their very own existence on this mad planet. How funny.
This practice should not be legal. For a country that is struggling to reduce its HIV/AIDS infection rate, it is not only terribly embarrassing for the president to set the standard for female oppression and objectification for men in the country to happily follow, but also exacerbates the various problems underlying the spread of this disease. These problems, of course, have plenty to do with gender relations. Which I believe are deeply troubled and in need of fixing.
Until recently,(I'm ashamed to admit) I was beginning to think that I wasn't attractive enough to get a man. I was beginning to think that I was invisible to single men within my age group and with whom I share an educational background. I couldn't figure out what wrong with me.
Now I see things in a different light. First, if the women in this video don't have mates then something else must be afoot because they are all beautiful and accomplished. Second, I realize that maybe, deep down, I cherish my independence and freedom too much, to want to share with anyone. I like who I am with all my quirks and don't want to change. Why should I? Add to that, relationship people ( you the type who always speak in terms of "we") really annoy me. And married women who feel that the goal in life was to get a man marry them, just are not my type of people.
So, I am not alone in thinking this. For a while, it seemed that I was the only one within my circles who regards relationships as not-quite-necessary-for-my-survival. I understand that they are important. Yes, a bit of companionship is good for the psyche afterall. But is it so absolutely necessary that a person must take on a puzzled expression and then quiz you on the fact that you are not presently in a relationship. It seems as if there is some universal message we have all come to accept which says that there is something faulty about being single and that one's state of singlehood must be uncomfortable. In response to my singlehood, I have heard comments along the lines of "Why not?" or "How can that be?" And the most baffling one of all came from a married old man who claimed that he would have to "fix that"....eeeeew!!!!! Lol! And wondered what problem I would have with sharing a place with a boyfriend. You know what? They do not call this living in sin for no reason!! Again, this is something I just do not get. It's bad enough you would have to live with that person after getting married but to do so before...hey, maybe if you really do love someone you'd put up with the annoying habits.
No wonder so many people, women especially, overload themselves with panick at the thought of not being able to find the "perfect" mate before their biological clockc tick out.
I would like to say that I am in no mood for panick. Yes, I have ages to go before any such even occurs with regards to the plumbing downstairs. Even now, whilst most it appears are hopping between relationships - trying to look for the "right" one, they explain. I, for some reason, just could not be bothered at all. Besides the fact that a relationship may be a cause for unecessary stress (dealing with personality differences, psychological issues...what the hell do I know??), it just doesn't strike me as something that important. I might change my mind in future but right now, educating my black ass seems to take number one priority. And I know how older people like to advise us about how we should enjoy our youth while it lasts and we'll never look this good again. But surely there is more to life than mindless hedonism (sex, drugs and rock 'n roll). When that's all you consider as what comprises a "good time", then of course someone like me who finds alternatives will strike you as a bore, too serious or a person wasting away their youth on books and philosophy. But we are all essentially individuals at the end of the day - with our own little quirks. Often, depending on the person one finds themselves in a relationship with, these idiosyncracies are stamped out for the sake of "making a relationship work" and one cannot truly be themselves. Especially at my fragile age of 21 which is only the beginning of my journey through self-discovery, I cannot possibly define what I really want out a relationship. So, instead my focus lies in building a career because if I end up all on my lonesome in the long run, I need to have a way to put bread on my table and feed my invitro-babies. This will be a last resort however, single motherhood is a tough job. Last resort but still an option because you never know.
I want to live being able to fully normalise the concept of singlehood. It is fine. It is good even. How else does one find the time to engage in introspective thought - learning to understand their mind a little better. Marriage should not be what women look for to be "whole". One should find that "wholeness" and confidence in solitude first before joining together with another human in a serious relationship that could possibly last a lifetime. It's not a fairytale, it does happen. In fact, if you two are wise, resilient and compatible enough, it should happen.
As for inter-racial. I'm all for it baby. All the colours of the rainbow (the ethnic one that is).
One thing I did notice about this college some two and a bit years ago was the level of unconvention it strives to with regards to its admissions. There was nothing too austere or stern about it's approach the college application process and almost every instructional sentence on the web page sought to reduce any kind of pedantism. So I am not really all that surprised at the recent controversy stirring over an Early Decision 2010-11 applicant's essay which dove very superficially I might add into the world of erotic literature. By creating an analogy between human mating habits and the student's application process to the College, the student explained how UChi-Town will "satisfy" his "desire" for a specific kind of learning. You mean, they still got that essay topic running (yawn!). At least the boy spiced it up a little. Even if it did make for some cringe-worthy erotica. Who am I kidding. Any erotica is good erotica. Right?
"Dear University of Chicago, It fills me up with that gooey sap you feel late at night when I think about things that are really special to me about you,” the essay began. “Tell me, was I just one in a line of many? Was I just another supple ‘applicant’ to you, looking for a place to live, looking for someone to teach me the ways of the world?
Wrong. It's not even thaaaat raw you know what I mean. There is a hint at body fluids but nothing too explicit but since it is University we are dealing with here and the last thing parents need to think about is the sex that their "innocuos", "well-raised" young ones are going to be partaking in in any case, such talk is preposterous and absolutely worthy of complaint.
Oh, the sauciness of it. Keep it cumming Dean Nondorf (no pun...ehehe). Would T.O'Neill (toenail?) have had the audacity to post such an excerpt for public display and hold it up as the modus operandis for the relaxed and open tone expected of application essays? There's no telling. But thanks for the entertainment people. Much appreciate it.
Takes a lot of self-control when people such as this guy exist in the world. But boy oh boy is it funny...(in a very twisted kind of way).
Then there are a pile of other douches that one must live with. But I don't need to revisit that. It is afterall a NEW YEAR. 2010 has arrived. Much to be done. Much to be achieved.
In no way are terrorist activities justifiable. They are heinous, futile acts motivated by abstract concepts. But the fact that the 23 year old man who attempted to detonate some kind of bomb on a flight to Detroit is Nigerian does nothing to quell the international fears the world seems to retain in their minds when it comes to this nation. People find further reason to entrench negative ideas about Nigerians through incidents such as these. No matter how isolated and rare, there is now reason, proper reason at that to condemn them negatively.
That's a problem. In general, people are barely capable of individualising behaviours of certain types of people. They'll take what one person from that group has done and use it as a representation of the group as a whole. And it's only certain types of people. Usually the groups of which most are ignorant about.
I am certainly not trained or practiced in the business of psychology but I think that some counselling would have preventedAbdul Farouk Abdulmutallab's actions. It sounds to me that he was just a young man struggling to find an identity and make peace with himself. We all go through it at some point. Who am I? Where do I go from here? etc etc General confusion that occurs when self-doubt and insecurity creep in. It helps to talk to someone about the internal crisis but he seemed to have alienated himself so much that he was far beyond any form of counsel. Being so closed up and faraway, who can help?
"I have no one to speak too [sic], No one to consult, no one to support me and I feel depressed and lonely. I do not know what to do. And then I think this loneliness leads me to other problems."
With all that privilege and wealth, he still could not find some morsel of serenity within himself. Money sure can't buy you everything. Here's more proof of that. Why is it that despite his father's expressed suspicion's of the young man, why did he not take any serious measures to prevent his son from engaging in an act that would destroy his future. Why instead choose to contact authorities, report your own blood and leave him to his own vices. As if setting up a mouse-trap and standing close by to observe the subsequent and expected result. I smell a rat. This just doesn't sound like wholesome and loving parental behaviour to me. Sounds more along the lines of..."I have a problem child, he embarrasses me. I must find a way to get him out of sight and out of mind." Of course, this is just a speculation but inquiry, as we all know, is important. Never taking anything at face value. "People are not what they seem" in many cases.
Now we come to 2009. Amazing how quickly time flies. I finally earned my key to "life" as my brother informed me. Well, that's something scary right there. I've crossed over the threshold between childhood and adulthood just as the turn of the decade approaches. This is the beginning of the rest of my life and I know it's going to be a fantastic ride. I look forward!
10. Rye Rye feat. MIA - Bang
9. Lady Gaga - Poker Face
8. 50 Cent - Baby By Me
7. Adam Lambert - Mad World
6. K'Naan - T.I.A.
5. The Gossip - Heavy Cross
4. Santigold - L.E.S. Artistes
3. Blame It feat. T-Pain - Jamie Foxx
2. Many Moons - Janelle Monae 1. SANTIGOLD - STARSTRUCK
Why still no video Santigold? This song is dope to the nth power! Oh well.
So I enrolled at a local college after trying to think things through for a while. Constant access to a large library database is a dangerous thing to someone such as moi. Wits was a blast but I don't think I want to go back!
10. Linkin Park - Leave Out All the Rest
9. Amy Winehouse - Rehab
8. Kanye West - Love Lockdown
7. Pink - So What
6. Chris Brown - With You
5. Violet Hill - Coldplay
4. Lupe Fiasco - Dumb It Down
3. Lil' Wayne - Lollipop
2. Estelle - American Boy
1. MIA - Paper Planes
Finishing high school left me in a state of doldrums. Questioning what it is that I want to make out of my life. Plenty of introspection was required. Although I managed to develop some morsel of good self-perception, I'm still slightly unsure. I have paths pointing in all sorts of directions. It's confusing. Guess if I rely on instinct, I'll be able to make it through and choose a path that brings me joy, serenity and some contentment. Not too much of it however.
10. MIMS - This is Why I'm Hot
9. Timbaland feat. Keri Hilson - The Way I Are
8. 50 Cent feat. Justin - Ayo Technology
7. John Legend - PDA
6. Swizz Beatz - Money in the Bank
5. Nickelback - If Everyone Cared
4. Rihanna - Umbrella
3. Lupe Fiasco - Kick Push
2. Kanye West - Stronger
1. Boyz - MIA
During breaks between studying when I relieved my behind from the numbness of sitting down. Nerdy me would bump up the volume and get jamming. Here were some of the songs that got me up again, calmed me down and made me reminisce like I'm doing now.
10. MJB - Be Without You
9. P. Diddy feat. Nicole - Come 2 Me
8. Cassie - Long Way to Go
7. Rafael Saadiq - I Want You Back
6. Sean Paul - Temperature
5. Kelis - Bossy
4. Floetry - My Apology
3. Brand New Heavies - Don't Know Why
2. T.I. - Why You Wanna?
1. Busta Rhymes feat. MJB, Rah Diggah, Missy, Papoose, DMX etc - Touch It (Remix)...CLASSIC!
I started taking a firm interest in Souther Rap so T.I. was on heavy rotation on my playlists. Don't care much for him these days. Commercialized. It happens to the best of them.
10. Girl - Destiny's Child
9. NERD - Maybe
8. Snoop feat. Pharrell - Drop It LIke It's Hot
7. Black Eyed Peas - Don't Phunk With My Heart
6. Missy Elliot - Lose Control
5. Chingy - One Call Away
4. Zap Mama - Bandy Bandy
3. Beenie Man - King of Dancehall
2. T.I. - ASAP
1. Amerie - One Thing
In came beloved family from Leeds with a pile of dancehall CD's for my mind. I learnt how all the best moves from Beenie Man and Sean da Paul videos. I was hooked on the Kingston energy. What can I say? It was a great year for dance tracks.
10. Akon - Belly Dancer
9. Chingy - Right Thurr
8. JKwon - Tipsy
7. Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama
6. Kanye West - Jesus Walks
5. Brandy Afrodisiac
4. Beenie Man - Dude
3. Yeah! - Usher
2. Ciara - Goodies
1. Kelis - Milkshake
Back to South Africa this year. First year at Crawford and at the mention of that all I seem to hear is 50 Cent rapping the hook to In Da Club. This song was a smash. Anyone in the world would tell you that. But there was someone else who had my young adolescent lustful gaze - Pharrell. Boy oh boy did I love me some of him. The things we think as teenagers!
10. Coldplay - Clocks
9. Hey Ya! - Outkast
8. Nas -Made You Look
7. Eminem - Lose Yourself
6. 50 Cent - In Da Club
5. Sean Paul - Get Busy
4. Jay Z - Excuse Me Miss - La La La (Remix)
3. Joe Budden - Pump it Up
2. Busta Rhymes feat. Pharrell - Light Your Ass On Fire
1. Pharrell feat. Jay Z - Frontin'
Spent the year in Leeds, England so almost every song released during that year takes me back to that. I never mind a good chill.
10. Christina Milian - AM 2 PM
9. Misteek - B With Me (Remix)
8. Pink - Get the Party Started
7. Ms Dynamite - DY-NA-MI-TEE
6. Shakira - Whenever, Wherever
5. Usher - U Don't Have 2 Call
4. Nickelback - How You Remind Me
3. More Fire Crew - Oi
2. Clipse - Grindin'
1. Sean Paul - Gimme the Light
I turned 13, what a milestone. Some of the songs that peak up in my memory for the year I finished primary school and became an adolescent. Angst ahead of me!
10. Blue Cantrell - Hit Em Up Style
9. Mandoza - Nkalakhata
8. Kelis - Young, Fresh 'N New (hey, hey, hey...get rich to dis!)
7. Mystikal - Shake Your Ass (yoou know)
6. Nelly - E.I. (underlay, underlay mami...)
5. Destiny's Child - Bootylicious
4. Busta Rhymes feat. Kelis - What It Is Right Now
3. Tank - Maybe I Deserve (aaaaaw!!)
2. Missy Elliot - Get Ur Freak On
1. Aaliyah - Resolution
Since the decade will be coming to a close very soon. In less than two weeks - can you believe how time flies? I've decided to take a trip down memory lane and recall the good times.
I was in 6th grade in 2000. Whenever I could, I would watch a free-broadcast of Channel O on SABC 1. Good 'ole days. I was really into R'n'B back then, The lyrics meant nothing to me of course. What does an eleven year old know about love and relationships but the beats got me vibing. And dance I did.
10. Mya - Case of the Ex
9. Nas feat. Ginuwine - You Owe Me
8. DMX - Ruff Ryders Anthem
7. Jay Z feat. Pharrell - I Just Wanna Luv Ya
6. Destiny's Child - Say My Name
5. Jill Scott - Gettin' in the Way
4. Redman and Methodman - Da Rockweilder
3. Missy Eliot - She's a B****
2. Kelis - Caught Out There
1. 702 - Where My Girls At?
Tiger Woods is not someone I know personally. But there's something about him that's always made me nonchalant toward him. Yes, yes good for him for making history with his green blazer PGA victories and all of that. Who am I to judge but the guy always came across as somewhat arrogant. And it's shown. Sex, lies and no videotape...yet. Why this is such a massive story is beyond me. But it's been interesting to note the amount of support he's been receiving from other MEN namely sportsmen. It's kind of sickening and smacks of what we all know as male privilege. Here we have a high profile, very wealthy male athlete who has cheated on his wife with several women. You have people like Dennis Rodman, Donald Trump and Charles Barkley sending him messages like "hang in there". It's as if he is some kind of victim in the midst of a media firestorm that has been brought upon him without any of his doing. I don't get it. Instead of pointing out his obvious disrespect and audacity to commit such trifles, they're showing him love. These types of men have normalized infidelity so much in their minds that when they are caught in the act and punished for it (as Gillete has done with Tiger), their self-perception is that of unwarranted persecution instead of worthy justice.
So, in the minds of privileged men, cheating is right. These people feel entitled to use their money to lure women into relationships in order to feed their empty, insatiable shells. When obstacles come in the way of achieving this end, they transform into the hapless victim.
I don't think I need to point out the apparent double standard. If this was a woman, not only would she be immediately labelled negatively. She would also not experience the same kind of support that Tiger's contemporaries are offering him.
When I read essays such as this one, I am reminded of how important it is to view the world through an objective and critical lens. Critique is necessary to avoid internalising fallacies and driving myself into a ditch. Objectivity is required to avoid getting angry.
Yet it makes tons of sense when spoken in light of perplexing encounters that leave you wondering whether or not some people are capable of seeing a fellow human being when looking toward you. Archetypes just annoy the hell out of me. Literally. When the machinations of this collectively racist and sexist consciousness reaches my understanding. My fires cool. Guess I just stop taking it to heart.
Simply for the sake of finding out what all the mayhem was about, went to see "New Moon" two weeks ago and them again today. Simply to accompany some friends still in the dark about it and to...yes, I wanted to see Taylor Lautner's buff and beautiful physique. No shame. Not at all. I have not read any of the books. After what I've seen so far, I don't think it'll be worth the time. Plenty of discouraging remarks from Ms Peterson and the league of extraordinary commenters
It's enough to keep me away from the third one. But I'm so adamant to see how Chris Weitz or whoever is directing "Eclipse" transposes Meyer's third book in the series.
Laughing at some of the tweets I read with reference to Rihanna's new video. Not Russian Roulette which is so flat, the Namib Desert is jealous (drum strikes for the bad joke). It's this song called Wait Your Turn. How baffling this young lady's behaviour is becoming. I have expressed my concern for her. Has she found emotional healing from the abuse. Think about the transition she's made from her "Music of the Sun" sugary to the point of wackness sweetness to this dark, dreary, gloom and doom character that's "Rated R". Pointing guns at the camera and grabbing her crotch. Even Grace Jones didn't instigate this much violence. She was eccentric yes, hypersexual yes but I can't remember her making threats to harm with her body language. I'm mobile so can't post the video. You know what to do YouTube addicts.
Lately, I've been delving into some literature about the subject of verbal abuse. I've learned so much. Ironically enough, Womanist Musings happened to have a post closely related to this topic:
In the past I've made the same mistake of attempting to transfer the pain of things said to me and of me, prejudiced, cruel treatment from others. I was young and naive. Instead of putting the insults into context, I often allowed myself to hurt over them. It took a toll in the long run and I eventually started lashing out - impersonating those that caused me pain.
That's what Eminem is doing. I often felt compassion for him especially after hearing "Cleaning Out My Closet" in 2002. I can see the source of his pain but he, as a 35 year old man, must be mature and realise that the past no longer has an influence unless one chooses to give it one. But instead of using his adversity as a way of knowing others' struggles and becoming empathetic and kind, he does the opposite by turning into the father that left him, the mother that neglected him and all those that hurt him very deeply.
It's difficult especially if one's wounds are deep to march forward and heal. I've learned that for the sake of one's wellbeing, if anything else, love and forgiveness are the key.
After watching a documentary entitled "The Age of AIDS", I'm left quite depressed but also flabbergasted at the failure of South African goverment since 1994 to tackle the issue of the epidemic.
Nelson Mandela did very little to address it during his presidency owed to the fact that little was still known of the virus at the time. It was still much of a myth that many believed only affected those overseas. Namely white male homosexuals in the USA. Not the migrant mine workers, prostitutes in "mine brothels" and wives and girlfriends of these men. It is believed that this is where the virus boomed.
So while goverment paid more attention to uniting the nation after the end of the apartheid era, this was mainly ignored. With the new administration still under ANC rule, Thabo Mbeki only sought to worsten an already deepening problem by denying that HIV causes AIDS and by stating that the "toxic" aspect of anti retro viral drugs should limit them from being given to patients. The result of this was a boom in mother to child infections. Imagine. All the kids born in that period whose mothers were unfortunate enough to have contracted HIV could have been spared the chance of living with the virus themselves. But the president chose to ignore the crisis at hand. Sad.
Well now for the results...South Africa has the highest infection rate in the world. And the president we have now seems to think that all you have to do to make the virus go away is take a shower! And that it is absolutely fine to have more than one marriage partner (ONLY if you're a MAN) I've heard him sing "Mshini Wami" (translation: bring my machine gun) more times than I've heard him talk about the importance of safe sex. On top of that, there is a violence and crime epidemic. I (very sarcastically) wonder why??
Well it's plain to see now isn't it. The tragedy of this nation lies for the most part in the inability of a post-apartheid government. Only concerned with power.
Black Snob I'm going to bite you: O RLY?? Luvvie darling I'm also going to bite you: iRefuse to accept that the reason big budget motion pictures don't use African-born actors is because there aren't any. No, there are plenty. But the fact that they're a bunch of nobody's reduces their suitability for playing lead protagonists for such high-scale movie projects.
This was just one of the illogical comments published at the imdb.com on the message board for the movie Invictus. Where there were complaints about Morgan Freeman's lousy accent. Which from what I've seen in the trailer really is off to say the least. And yes, we all know he is the crème de la crème of the veteran Hollywood fold but even Denzel (no surname needed, that's how larger than life he is) faltered with his role as Steve Biko in Cry Freedom. With that high-pitched fantastical "imitation" of a South African accent. What was meant to be a stern biopic of an extremely important figure in the South African freedom struggle turned into somewhat of a comedic interpretation of this man's life (something I'd imagine Dave Chapelle performing in one of his 15 minute skits). It leaves many thinking, "Why not just use African actors?"
Alot of it probably has to do with African American actors being recognisable and therefore better able to draw the public's attention. That's an obvious one. But why can't they just follow Don Cheadle and Forrest Whitaker's examples and take the time to really study the accents and dialects, master them and carry them out properly in their portrayals. It's more than just vying for an Oscar, just the mere fact of acknowledging the intricacy and uniqueness of each manner of speech on the continent that differ from location to location will be a huge leap for Hollywood. If using unknowns is too risky at least whip those American tongues into shape with proper language training from the locals themselves. Don't forget to pay them properly for their tutoring services.
As for Jennifer Hudson playing Winnie Mandela in director, Darrel Roodt's upcoming project. I'm not too sure what to expect but I believe in her acting abilities. Let's be honest, the movie's earnings may not be that great if they chose to cast a locally-known South African actress in place of J.Hudson. She did win an Oscar and people always stand up and listen when Oscar winners happen to appear.
In a L'oréal commercial for their new range of dark toned hair colour, I well, heard something that made me raise a brow. Several times in fact. In between Penelope Cruz's constant reiteration of the word "Glossy", yes I feel the script could have been better on her part but this is L'oréal and they do like exoticizing WOC when they feel compelled to use them, at the same time avoiding too much blackness in their advertising. Remember what they did to Beyonce anyone?
Now in this one, they imply that dark hair somehow takes away from a woman's facial softness. "L'oréal Dark Glossy takes care not to harden the features." Huh? I didn't know that having dark hair makes you look "hard". Now imagine having dark skin to top it. I think I can really understand now this dark and bright skin dichotomy links up with assumptions on how a person supposedly is.
As Big Brother draws to a long-awaited close tonight, I seek to take a moment of reflection. Of the incorrect grammar and spelling on the 24/7 channel's strap (text message board) and the interactive part of the website, I am hardly surprised. Just take a sample of YouTube comments, most of which it takes some time to decipher into standard English and you will understand. It was interesting to see comments made about each individual housemate. The public's opinions about specific behaviours and events. How most of these were similar throughout the continent and what they say of Africa's general approach to certain aspects. I shall discuss gender and class here since all housemates except one were Black.
It was clear from the beginning that all the women were, as is always done, judged according to looks. The darkskinned, skinny haute couture model types were taken out first after week 1 when the show was still streamlined according to gender. They were not labelled as one of the "hot girls" in the house and were eliminated despite Maggie's spunky personality. Well. The game continued with viewers using the same standard of comparison for the remaining women. Fast forward to the latter weeks where fewer housemates are present in the house. Scrutiny is placed on the unladylike behaviour of Mzamo from Malawi and Nkenna from Nigeria. The former is chronic drinker, chain smoker, punk-inspired and unabashed about her libidinous boy-chasing ways. While I would say "Mo power to you" in response. The majority of Africa criticised her for not representing a "true African woman". Especiall after her window punching stint which took place after Itai from Zim found it necessary to exclaim that Mzamo does not take pride in her appearance or act like a woman should. This is a clear representation of what I've come to know of traditional African beliefs. They are centred in chauvinism. Because Mzamo displayed behaviour unbecoming of a "woman", she was insulted constantly. Well what then is an African woman? A docile, submissive little dove that cooks, cleans, does not seek to have a career of her own outside the demands of housewivery, never speaks above a whisper and takes abuse from men withouts question.
So it's the virgin-whore dichotomy defining standards of female behaviour. Not suprising. But the amount of contempt shown for Nkenna introduces another form of disdain. For those that occupy of lower status of class in society. For the entire duration of the show, she was referred to as the "village girl". So that left only one female housemate to appreciate, Emma. The closest thing, the public had for an ideal African woman. Pretty (in their opinion), always taking care to look good, "sweet" and involved in a nonsexual relationship with one guy. See how predictable. We dislike the women who don't care and just do themselves. We choose to like the one who takes pride in her looks, is vain and perhaps cares too much what others think to the point of fakeness - which she did display later on. It's a common practice in the assessment of women. Be vain or get out.
