Taking Sexy Away

First saw Gail Dines who is the author and promoter of several books on the following topic state her piece on SkyNews and I was immediately drawn to this. It's great that her website and reading materials have been given this much coverage by global news networks.

Packaged in a concise 47 minute video presentation is a full discussion on why pornography is so damaging to the mind's and attitudes of people the world over. Whether you are an active user or someone who couldn't care, this is some information that you most certainly need to have at your disposal. For standing in opposition to this profitable yet seedy and destructive industry the word "prude" should not even come to mind when considering popular opinions but rather "dignified" and mindful of the humanness of not only girls and women but all of us. Something strong should be said about this beast. It may not change the minds of millions over night but one step at a time, society may start to acknowledge the ugly that it has amalgamated and like those powerful lyrics in 'Man in the Mirror' - "make that change..."

The sadness of it all is that there seems to be a culture of dismissing and excusing misogyny as a "boys will be boys" trope. They can't help themselves. They need an outlet for their voracious appetites for human flesh. Where better than to see this subtely portrayed in a current obsession for movies and TV shows that carry 'vampire' themes.

Even videos where models are used as embellishments for the set design just make you sick to your core when you come to see what's really going on here. These women are not people with voices, opinions, histories, background and rights. They're voiceless, ornamentalised objects. That's some sad isht going on there I'm telling you.

Not to mention how this kind of material and messages such as these reduce boys and men to view intercourse as a kind of sport without any non-physical meaning. It's just plain old 'fucking' to them. Nothing intimate. Nothing that has to do with a mental, psychological, spiritual connection to another human being no. Just plain ole fucking.

Clearly remember English teacher from 12th grade who lead us through a length analysis of 'Nineteen Eighty-Four' by George Orwell - what led me to find love for the book in the first-place (shout out to Ms Gardyne!). Something interesting about the fact that the 'Ministry of Truth' supplied pornographic material to the Proles in the novel - a population the government saw little use for and ignored for the most part. The dregs of humanity were fed the worst kind of media for entertainment - porn. Because "porn is boring" as I vividly recall Ms Gardyne uttering that afternoon in English class. And hey, you know what it just is.

When leave out the meat (and not talking about that meat) of it. What really makes this level of intimacy so powerful. Subtle nuances that almost often have zero to do with anything on a physical level. The brain is the most potent factor in all this being the source of all physiological activity. Why skip all that. Why trash all the meat and just suck on bones. Literally. It's wack. Just straight up wack.

Notwithstanding the effects that it has on the psyche. Subliminally. The video goes in depth into every aspect of this.

Know someone personally who is a regular user of porn. Even aspired to be a porn star at some point in his life. Knowing this it's no surprise to hear anti-feminist statements come out of his mouth. That he found the 'Tip Drill' video "cool", you know the part where that foolish Nelly swipes a credit card between a woman's convulsing butt cheeks. That same foolish Nelly when being confronted about having released such a debauched and lewd video asked a member of the audience whether he should "put white girls in there" as a substitute to prevent the vitriol that 'Tip Drill' caused. See that attitude. That's the misogyny. Instead of inspecting his actions and seeing the wrong. He sees as a solution, replacing the black "ho's" with a new set in a brand new hue. Reflective of an attitude that regards women as yup...disposable, replaceable, movable and interchangeable objects. What a dumb dumb.

Back to my young friend who also views erotic literature as a product for "girls" since they probably don't have that same insatiable sexual appetite for 'fresh meat' as their male counterparts do. They are soft, unassuming and not interesting in sex - prudish and innocent. Which again, as was explained in the video is a myth that often needs to be acknowledged in porn that fetishizes innocence and virginity. So, the erotic books that explore the psychological complexities of characters both male and female are demonized and dismissed as stuff for "girls" and instead the hardcore pornographic images that degrade, debase, humiliate and remove all possibility of interaction between male and female that does not involve violence, aggression, intimidation and violation are favoured. Favoured first and then absorbed as a representation of how intercourse should be (as the video clarifies).

This is also someone that believed that C.Brown's abuse had justification because RiRi allegedly gave him an STD and shoves off any discussion of gender inequality in favour of a false belief in an idea that "women are powerful" anyway. This sounds like that "punnany-power" thing again. Perhaps in possessing appetites that are difficult to control. The objects upon which these very appetites are satiated hold power, an overwhelming power which matches an overwhelming need to 'get pussy' no matter the cost or the stakes involved. So they bestow a false sense of power on them which helps them to easily ignore the actual non-power that girls and women have in environments where their rights are continually violated. In the forced marriages, the genital cutting, the honour killings etc. Hey, they still have "punnany-power" right so it really doesn't matter what you do them because they deserve it. That's what you call misogyny.

Have yet to comment about Kanye's dumb dumb 'Monster' video because just had enough of his attention-seeking ways. Watched 30 seconds of it and ignored the rest. Now, someone like that would defend their actions by reciting a monologue about record sales and money and the music business. Ya know how it is. Yep. There's the proof you need to realise how much of a big business misogyny is in the world. That images of women hanging dead from a ceilings, lying around dead fit with imagery reminiscent of depictions of demonic possessions in videos is sending out the message 'they're better of dead', 'they're evil' and if that's not hate speech against an entire gender then don't know what is.

"I am Going to Show you, you are a Woman."

Taken from this article on the 'Lezget Real' website - definitely worth a read.

"Her attacker acted like an animal who wanted to kill, strangling her with barbed wire;  “I thought he was going to kill me; he was like an animal. And he kept saying: ‘I know you are a lesbian. You are not a man, you think you are, but I am going to show you, you are a woman. I am going to make you pregnant. I am going to kill you.”  The attacker was known To Gaika, a neighbor."

These words spoken to a young lesbian woman while she is being brutally raped by a man who has beef with the fact that she is a woman who is not heterosexual, who does not conform to the so-called prescribed gender roles that society dictates and who is simply expressing the person she truly is. For this she must suffer.

It's obvious, I don't have to call out the blatant misogyny here. This is about power, it's about reifying male dominance in a patriarchal society. Nothing more, nothing less. South Africa and much of Africa is still very far behind when it comes to embracing progressive notions on gender, gender identification and sexual orientation. Most of this nation's citizens still seem to be under the impression that there are set roles that men and women should play which under no circumstances should be violated. Stuck in the Dark Ages and failing to rise to a new level.

Transactional Sex: groupie love & book deals

Seems Karrine Steffans of Confessions of a Video Vixen fame has a young protege of her own. A young woman called Kat Stacks who has, as did Steffans hersself, entwined herself in numerous broiling sexual encounters with some famous rappers - Nelly, Bow Wow, the Young Money clique including their most successful member, Lil' Wayne and others she refuses to name in the video below in lieu of the imminent release of her very own tell-all book on the ways in intricacies of the life of a hip hop groupie. Whether she is doing it for her own financial gain or for her own personal empowerment is not something I can make proper judgements of. She is entitled to revel in a very basic human right called "freedom of speech" in whatever vernacular and with as many cuss-words as she so wishes.



This violent repurcussion from two of Bow Wow's crew members should come as no surprise. We should expect this sort of ire to emanate from a disgraced young rapper who feels, living in a society steeped in patriarchy, that as a famous and somewhat monied recording artist he has earned the right to as much "hot pussy" as he wishes to get without having to suffer the public humiliation brought forth by the blatant telling of his bedroom antics. All this including an admission of his palpably insufficient girth from any groupie with whom he may have copulated with i.e. Madame Stacks. Rappers of this variety aspire to reach a position in which their status will afford them easy access to submissive and willing women. They know that without the power that fame affords them, they are next to nothing and are relegated to the status of ordinary men who believe they must endure great pains and lengths just to get laid. Yet I feel that it is so much more than this. That this is a power-game and the sex is purely transactional. Groupies are paid for the power that these men are afforded in commanding control over these women sexually. It clearly does not end at that. Some groupies wish to earn a further and more lofty pay-off for their stories through book deals or cash settlements as a way of ensuring silence.

Surely, the boys who approached Kat Stacks in the club should know this by now. There is no keeping a groupie silent in this day and age without ignominy or a collosal decrease in one's bank balance.

The "Indestructible" Black Woman Myth...Again

My heart pounded as a watched this video. It reminded me of the physical fights I have gotten into with two male family members who saw no problem in partaking in a physical confrontation with me. Neither one apologised for their behaviour and the female members in my family proceeded to defend and justify these men's actions. One of the males even went on to say that he "understands" why such a physical reaction would have emanated. All this without a word of concern about any sort of emotional distress the fight could have caused or again, even a simple apology. I firmly believe that my being black gives them reason to falsely believe that I am incapable of feeling and therefore make the perfect punching bag.

Yes, there is a double standard. People feel more guilt causing harm to white women than they do to women of colour especially if one is black. Since we are that special group of "chicks who just happen not to have dicks", men find it easy to punch, push, strike and hit us without any inherent guilt or remorse. It is sad. Truly sad. That people are still very much incapable of understanding that black women are not as tough as society aims to point us out to be. That we are neither punching bags nor scapegoats for the satiation of the insecure others fragile id. We were not to be used by others in a way that will grant them a portal to attain a sense of power. It should be known that our bodies are sacred temples around which proper boundaries are put in place to prevent physical harm that those who fail to recognise our humanity wish to cause.

But here is where I am slightly ambivalent about this whole dichotomy. White women are apparently considered more womanly than the rest of us and deserving of courteous behaviour. As plenty of people have noted in their analysis', a man should not strike a woman under any circumstance so the ease with which the cop in question hit this young woman is reflective of a racist belief in a black woman's apparent "masculinity". Yet do I necessarily want to be viewed as weak and in need of protection? Not at all. Neither do I want to have someone engage in unwarranted physical confrontation with me. There must be a middle ground. Digressing to each extreme is neither good nor healthy in attempting to assert a real sense of equality.

Controversy Around Born-Free: My Take on It

Just finished watching the video for "Born Free", I see no reason why it should have been pulled off of Youtube a month ago. Yes there were graphic depictions of violence but here's an interesting comment I agree with which I found under the comments of this video:

so it's alright for music videos of girls dancing naked and exploiting themselves to be up on youtube rather than a video with actual substance and a message that's worth watching? idiots.

That's an excellent point to raise in the midst of all this. Vulgar depictions of misogyny - which is also hateful toward a certain demographic i.e. the female population is tolerable whilst violent imagery serving to make a statement about the insanity of war and ethnic genocide in this world should be banned.



It reminds me of several years ago when FCC fined Sarah Jones on indecency charges for the lyrics to her spoken word poem, "Your Revolution" which was an anti-sexism, anti-misogynistic war-cry. Funny the FCC chose to avoid all those rappers out there spitting vulgar lyrics about their sexual conquests with women when a woman who is simply speaking up against what she sees as derogatory should be charged. Interesting. The lawsuit was dropped eventually. Should have never been taken up in the first place. But it goes to show how selective censorship boards are. They don't really aim to censor what is considered immoral or indecent. They aim to censor instead what messages they do not want the public hearing because they're afraid of an enlightened masses, a know-better-than-that masses that begins to wake up from their government and media-induced coma. I am reminded of those stunning lyrics from Lupe's classic "Dumb it Down":

You've been shedding too much light Lu (Dumb it down)
You make'em wanna do right Lu (Dumb it down)
They're getting self-esteem Lu (Dumb it down)
These girls are trying to be queens Lu (Dumb it down)
They're trying to graduate from school Lu (Dumb it down)
They're starting to think that smart is cool Lu (Dumb it down)
They're trying to get up out the hood Lu (Dumb it down)
I'll tell you what you should do (Dumb it down)

Well, Ain't I a Woman

I completed my reading of "Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism" by the ever-powerful bell hooks. Brilliant. Okay. In speaking about the Black feminist movement that his its roots in the 19th century with women such as Sojourner truth who gave this gut-wrenching, spirit-lifting speech with this extract:

That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman? 

Reading it called me to question the underlying message behind images such as these (by the fiercely bold and original David LaChappelle who I admiringly paid tribute to in an earlier post).We have Outkast surrounded by a pool of Black completely naked women lying them in positions of worship and submission to their "male power" in the first one and in full sexual servitude as each of them lies on the floor, on all fours (as an animal) with their asses up to the ceiling.
I have to ask, does it get any more misogynistic than this? This is the worst kind of depiction of black women and it continues to the point that it raises no sufficient protest in the mind's of viewers. We are all accustomed to portrayals of black women as lascivious, wanton, immoral, sexual tools i.e. hoes. No wonder black women clearly encounter problems in their interactions in daily-life. It is difficult to establish yourself as an intellectual and thinker when the media wants to reduce you down to nothing more than your genitalia. Your purpose for breathing - nothing more than to serve men sexually.

Hey, hey, hey with a history like America has in which black women were their to bear the brunt of white European males psychosexual confusion and misogyny through continuous rapes and utilisation of the black woman's womb for the economic gain (slave-labour) which only reinforced the ideas about black women that society currently embraces. I find it tragic that black men have sought to imitate this very exploitation of the black female form as did white men during the era before Reconstruction. Yes, those days are over but have the practices ended. Clearly not. Statistics will tell you that. Some think it's all fun and games. Yey, let's sexualize black women in images - afterall "sex sells" right. Yep - it sells darling. At the expense of other people's dignity. What a rotten system of capitalism we operate under that serves only the interests of the individual crushing the dignity and humanity of those needed to be exploited for the other person's upliftment.

Dear Mr President, Why Are We Regressing into the Dark Ages?

This week, the president of South Africa - Jacob Zuma - married his fifth wife Nompumelelo Ntuli in a traditional Zulu ceremony at his Nkandla homestead. Fifth, yes, fifth. Polygamy happens to be a legal sport in this nation I find myself residing in. It is absolutely fine, under our country's constitution, for a man to wed more than one woman and have each of these marriages lawfully recognised and registered under the Home Affairs database.

What protects these ludicrous ideas? Tradition. Long-standing tradition than modern pan-Africanists believe European imperialist powers have tried to remove in their attempt to control trade during colonial days. It's quite clear this side of the argument is merely a guise under which misogynistic ideals that substantiate this commodification of women are concealed. With this anti-colonialist stance, traditionalist South African men are hoping to protect their supposed male privilege which makes them feel they have the right to own women and engage in intimate relations with more than one woman at a time without the weight of being accused of adultery. Even more so, those in support of polygamy believe it is somewhat better for men to be given the right under law to have more than one wife than to revel in illicit affairs on the down low with their mistresses.

Progress is gender equality. Gender equality is the future as far as I am concerned. These kind of practices simply do not belong in the fabric modern society. They are primitive and demeaning. When the president of a country does nothing more than collect women in the manner one would collect prized posessions, how can problems such as wage gaps and violence against women be properly addressed. At the root of the patholgies that cause men to appropriate and disrespect female bodies is the notion that women are somehow inferior and should take their role as weak and powerless submissives in society. Which limits them from being taken seriously (as men are) in the workplace and in parliament. And also encourages men to beat their imperiously beat their wives up. Seek extra-maritial affairs without guilt or concern for the psychological implications this will have on the various members of the household. And simply treat women not as fellow human beings but rather as members of some sort of subhuman race of people that happen to exist alongside them and on who, ironically enough, they are intrinsically and desperately dependant for just about...everything in their lives including their very own existence on this mad planet. How funny.

This practice should not be legal. For a country that is struggling to reduce its HIV/AIDS infection rate, it is not only terribly embarrassing for the president to set the standard for female oppression and objectification for men in the country to happily follow, but also exacerbates the various problems underlying the spread of this disease. These problems, of course, have plenty to do with gender relations. Which I believe are deeply troubled and in need of fixing.

To Shy Away from Misandry...

Takes a lot of self-control when people such as this guy exist in the world. But boy oh boy is it funny...(in a very twisted kind of way).

Then there are a pile of other douches that one must live with. But I don't need to revisit that. It is afterall a NEW YEAR. 2010 has arrived. Much to be done. Much to be achieved.

We've Got Pigs Too

Yesterday, I was taken aback by the lack of concern taken to the traumatic experience that racialicious' Fiqah endured at the hands of an officer. I was not able to watch Carte Blanche last night due to my family's deep obsession with Big Brother Africa 4, but I just read through the transcript and am horrified to say the least. Two unreported rape offenses by police officers here in South Africa . In the same month that a little boy was brutally murdered for no reason at all among others. Police brutality seems only to be escalating and not a single one of these officers despite the brutal and heinous nature of these offenses. Sad state of affairs. One does not know whether the police can be trusted to be called upon for safety. When they commit the same crimes as the men they arrest but are protected by their so called "badge of honour".

I can't help but try and find some relation between these events and the fact that South Africa has such a broken history. Living through apartheid South Africa left many blacks with a strong sense of futility and meaninglessness similar to what Du Bois posited about the problem of the black American underclass. I've seen this most potently displayed by black men of the lower class. I'm afraid to say that they are the demographic most expected to these commit offense both within their communities and beyond. Apartheid has left behind a frightening legacy of cold-spirited black men with a nihilistic killer mentality. Now that these same individuals occupy the police force and are given free roam with the illusion of safety and protection, they've simply taken to abusing their power for their own infantile gains. They feed their egos through the induction of unease. What these imbeciles don't see is that their actions benefit little in the long run. If South Africa gains a reputation for being a crime-rampant nation where police themselves exert the same kind of brutality that offenders do, not only will a massive brain drain begin to occur. Revenue from tourism will most easily be affected. Resulting in declining GDP. These utterly stupid, animalistic idiots are too dumb to see how their impulsive and foolish actions are causing or may lead to the overall decline of this nation's standard. What a useless goverment we have! What significant measures have they put in place?? What are they even doing aside from singing lame tribal songs and complaining about trivial matters.


So, it's true we've got pigs too. Only that ours are not a white male majority.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Homie

I don't want to hear about the law of attraction and ideas about "you teach people how to treat you" when it comes to this problem described through a terrible experience of harassment from a male po-po by Fiqah at racialicious

That he got away with this loathsome behaviour is reflective of power privilege afforded in this case to a law enforcer. Just last week we had incidents of police brutality here. So far, I've heard of no serious measures taken against the officers. There is a good chance they'll get of scott-free. How ironic it is that their main victims were a woman and a little child.

As a person I like to believe I radiate self-respect and hold my self in high esteem. In fact, I live by statements such as the one Alanis Morisette made, "I see my body as an instrument rather than an ornament." I carry this notion in the way I walk, dress and behave. This vessel is for doing, it is for action. Not for showing and for passivity. There will always be individuals that disrespect my presence and try to interfere with my existence by trying to get much too personal with me despite my being a complete stranger and showing on interest at that. Or worse still, invading my personal space or staring at me incessantly. These things happen. Even sporting baggy sweats and a T-shirt, it happens. (I always thought this would deflect unwarranted attention)

Must I excuse these imbeciles as just that and go on with my day. No, as always I see these as a reflection of ideas that the men in South African society hold of women. It's clear I live in a highly misogynistic society, a society that favours the idea of women as objects not women as people. It's a fact I've known since primary school when rape statistics were constantly aimed at us from all platforms of media. I remember Charlize Theron even ran an ad campaign about it. "People often ask me what the men are like in South Africa." she states. The answer obviously wasn't good which the commercials sought to expose. There is a definite sickness in this nation when it comes to the way people interact. Racially and most specifically in terms of gender. All South Africans seem to know of each other are the stereotypical notions they learned via talk and TV that ignorance is banal. Whites live in fear of blacks. Local blacks hate foreign blacks. Blacks think whites are racist haters. Coloureds strive to be white and refuse the "black" label that similarly mixed race people in America are never to afraid to adopt. Near-Eastern Asians well...they seem alright but whites and blacks seem to despise their small business sensibility. Don't know much about the Far-Eastern Asians though there's a good chance they may be exposed to the same amount of xenophobia that Nigerians are. It's one enormous racial gash that's been left over for post-apartheid South Africa to endure. With a president singing songs like "Umshini Wami", how is it going to heal.

The same goes for gender. A survey was conducted in June that revealed that 25% of males in S.A. are rapists. That's a remarkable figure. Since the world cup is coming around, these figures are under intense scrutiny. They scare people. Coupled with the AIDS statistics. It's just too much.

It seems that no measures are being taken to educate young men about the dangers of conforming to these false notions of "masculinity". Something needs to be done but nothing is.

It seems the more insecure a man in his knowledge of how "masculine" he is, the more strongly he tries to exert machismo. Studying the majority of individuals that take part in hollering practices. They appear similar in that they are low-income, of African descent and male of course. Social conditioning in most cases teaches men that money and status (as well as the ability to be a "provider") are symbols of manhood. When these are not attained, one is therefore not fully a man. So, masculinity, they perhaps feel must be redeemed in other ways. These are often in relation to women. In making sexual advances, they engage in the act of being masculine; which turns a rejection on the woman's part into an assault on this assumption of manhood.

In my experience, the non-black males that tried to assert themselves to me in this way were defected in ways that were not money or status related but rather in relation to appearance. The popularly accepted notion of masculinity is one of being tall, muscular, strong, broad shoulders, a pronounced jawline etc. Often, when men are aware of their inability to meet these standards is a cause to try and over compensate similar to the description above. I do not believe that a man comfortable in his own skin will need to objectify, attempt to humiliate, harass, grope or disregard physical boundaries. I don't think that anyone with enough intelligence'll treat a fellow human so.

An old but pertinent post in relation to redefining our presently accepted notion of "manhood" at Shakesville puts it all into perspective - how important it is to give young men an alternative form of expression that does not involve misogyny and homophobia.

Compassion for the Plight of the "other"

Is perhaps one of the most incredible triumphs of human character to note. We don't realise it but recognising the humanity in those that are not like us is a challenge. Especially in a world that is so bent on forming divisions instead of breaking them through empathy and understanding.

These thoughts emanate from an article in the Saturday Star Canvas by Janet Smith. This month we celebrate women's lib or what we have of it. Though much needs to be done to obtain full equality, great strides have already been made. In comparison to women that lived half a century ago, we have many more opportunities to grow and progress as humans and not simply women. Ideas surrounding gender roles are much less rigid. Women can more or less do anything they want to. For that, it is a privilege to be a woman in the 21st century.

But it is a woman's location that makes all the difference. Muslim states in Africa and Asia still practice brutal genital mutilations. A clear act of pure unadultered misogyny which is accompanied by a myriad of other heinous acts.
I began this post with some talk about empathy. A recent movie which has struck plenty of controversy mainly owed to a scene in which a woman mutilates herself 'Antichrist' has left me wondering. The European public is so up in arms about this scene which is part of a movie and thus not real but less troubled by the reality of the many thousands of mutilations that take place. It serves to speak of how empathy breaks down almost immediately at the ethnic barrier. The West is somewhat indifferent to the suffering of those is less developed regions of the world because of this business of seeing only the "other" and not a fellow human being similar in a number of ways.
Otherization is something we have probably all been guilty of. Recognising that common humanity that binds us is one way forward toward a post-racial and post-sexist society and world.

Ego Surges: When Men Turn to Aggression to Vent Hurt

Yesterday was one hell of a day. But let me begin by saying that I have been reading a very pertinent book by a the mega-selling author of 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff' - Richard Carlson. This one is a follow up and is entitled 'What About the Big Stuff?'. It's not just another load of self-help garbage as some cynics may proclaim. For those that need to get themselves on the right path to living a life guided by wisdom, it is the perfect read. I've gained so much insight from it that it's brought me to a state of inner peace. This is something I've battled with over the past several months so I'm glad to have been taught how to put things into perspective. Firstly by realising how burdensome a mind that never keeps quiet is. I noticed how easy it is for thoughts to run in and out of your head without limitation. I'm starting to develop the habit of stopping certain ones from lingering to long. This often causes a change in emotions. After all, it is true that thoughts precede feelings. The calm that has emerged in my existence emanates from this philosophy. I'm able to concentrate better and most importantly, live every moment to its fullest. What's the use of life if one can't sit back and just take in each second. It makes so much more sense. I know if I hadn't been told or at least reminded of these vital rules by which to abide by, I would've been taken upon a tidal wave of futile emotions this weekend.

Family drama like nothing on this Earth! When I look back on it, boy was it funny. Listening to Grace Jones 'Nipple to the Bottle' this morning reminded me of a male in my family who got physical with me yesterday. Now, it wasn't anything serious. He just tried to ruffle my feathers a little but with my levels of beastliness, it just didn't happen. I managed to break free from him after he held me up against the wall and then, shook me by the head repeatedly. My mother stepped in and stopped the devil from doing further damage. So, I didn't get messed up and I won't have to slash anyone with a kitchen knife in living up to my nickname - Stabs. Haha. All is well in my soul though because I have the wisdom to know that the attack had litte to do with me, I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Mind you, the male I'm talking about has a history of violence against women. I know very well that his anger stems from deep insecurities. On top of that, plenty of male chauvinistic fallacies and a not-so-latent-anymore misogyny. Well, is this the first time I've been confronted by an insecure man's aggression. No, it's happened before yet I've been knowledgable enough to see through it. One guy who happened to be anti-Semitic grabbed my neck and shook me repeatedly after I made a siding remark about Jewish people and the Holocaust but he was also mad because I rejected his advances. So that explained that one. Another male member of my family has pushed me around on two occasions. Now, they've never really hurt me at all. But my curious nature galvanises my interest in male psychology in relation to the above incidents. Men react to their hurt with physical acts. Whereas on the op-end women internalise theirs and tend to become masochism. This shows up in numerous ways. Eating disorders, self-loathing, low self-esteem etc. I've made it a habit of putting things into the right perspective by not getting into fits of rage. But since emotions are somewhat inevitable. Anger must be expressed in an outward direction. Not, I believe, at a person. As men often tend to do because society often condones men objectifying women and children, often times these are the people upon which male anger is attempted to be projected.


Unless the issue of male chauvinism is addressed in relation to male violence. Many women will often continue to blame themselves for the violence that they endure at the hands of men as my contemporaries keep on asking me. "What did you do for him to do that?" It's not a question of what a person does. No matter what a person says or does, a man has no right to lay his hands on a woman without her consent. This is a violation. No matter what. My own mother who was beaten carries this mindset. That if a woman is beaten, it means that she has done something wrong. That is what I call internalised male chauvinism. In essence, BULLSHIT! When will women wake up from these fallacies and see that a man who is physically aggressive in fact toward anyone is pathological and in need of proper psychological help as my poor father is. The first step to getting better is always admitting that there is a problem not with other people but with oneself. The wise Gandhi once said it, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

This weekend has served me with a tremendous deal of insight. Luckily I've had the wisdom to see things objectively - for what they truly are without turning to the usual masochistic way of rationalizing other people's pathologies that women often tend toward.

Quit Hollering Will You

So while the objectification of the female form is hardly ever surprising at all, this post at the racalicious website conveyed in a succint manner every reason why rap videos are not offensive but destructive in informing society about ways in which Black women are viewed with respect to societal heirarchies.

While I'm all for celebrating diversity and promoting self-love through the positive presentation of stereotypically negated aspects of people's appearances across the colour spectrum, I have to admit that I have avoided rap videos for years now. For the same reasons that are stated in the above article.

It is disturbing, as an individual who considers themselves head first and body second, to have to acknowledge the fact that my body may be viewed as nothing more than a "communal" object to be publicly spoken about, groped and gazed upon. Even more disturbing is that society encourages this kind of behaviour from men as some kind of male bravado expression.

So the messages that rap videos are transmitting are harmful because they fail to portray Black women in a non-sexual light which means that as a Black women, no matter how you try to prove yourself as an intellectually-competent individual. There will always exist those latent sexual associations which hinder your capability as an intelligent individual in the eyes of those that know no better than to absorb images from rap videos without applying any sort of critical thinking.

Rap videos are essentially misogynstic. This is an aspect many scholars and academics have pointed out in their critiques. Yet as Black people we continue to support a music that rejects the idea that women of colour are in any way able to function on an intellectual level. When little boys and girls are exposed to this, what is it that they learn. That to be a man is to dominate women and utilize them as passive sexual tools, collect them in an ornamental fashion and dress them up, parade them to the public as modern-day Venus Hottentots only to exclaim "Hey, look fellas, my woman is hot!" Furthermore, that to be a woman is to tolerate this as "normal" and sexualize oneself. Dumbing herself down in the process only to be bestowed with the crown of male appreciation and have one's self-esteem boosted as a result of male applause.

As long as women remain stuck in the notion that in order to maintain self-love and that they must live up to beauty standards that society sets up for them progression will not happen. Progression toward a state of gender equality. Women are not afforded the chance to operate as individuals outside of the consideration of aesthetics. How can one spend their whole life wasting money on beauty cosmetics and hair-do's waiting for another to validate their appearance by calling it beautiful when self-acceptance of one's natural form has not taken place?

A Real Shocker: Anti-Feminists in the Christian Body

I've been getting quite a few of those lately but this oh this is something else. A group of avid Christian film-makers who have compiled a documentary exposing the many ills and misguided mindsets that the feminist movement has supposedly spilled over the fabric of modern-day society. The shocker itself

Now I have a problem with Christians using the Bible to propagate anti-feminist messages. A big problem. This is no different to using the Bible to justify the racial superiority of the white race. What kind of insanity is this?
I have not seen the documentary in full but from the preview available on the website as well as images of women that have dominated politics and transcended to positions of power chiefly held by men posted against the torrid title of the project: The Monstrous Regime (obviously alluding to the Feminist Movement/Women's Lib).

I of course completely dismiss traditional gender roles as much as a refrain (for obvious reasons) from accepting the notion that members of each ethnic group must be limited to play their historically-defined role in a society. Racial parity is as of much significance as gender parity. The idea of "extolling feminity; blasting feminism" is nothing more than preposterous. What makes me even more suspicious is that the film-makers who aptly identify themselves as the Gunn Brothers are men. How surprising! That a group of men (the knowledge that they are Christians should be seen as completely independent of their motivation to issue such a ludicrous piece of work) have gone all out to create a documentary-film that uses the Bible to bash feminists and portray them as being malicious and vile in their intentions.

Gloria Steinem would roll her eyes at this dismissively. It is plain to see how a couple of men, frustrated at the turn of events that have unfolded over the last half-century which has seen women liberated from silence and subservience, with the Bible at the ready scouring its holy pages for evidence to proclaim that women should have never been liberated in the first place. Using the Good Word to find further evidence of why women are apparently inferior knowing full well that even though they may not be able to reach those feminists who have abandoned organized religion for its emphasis on female subservience, weakness and inferiorty, they will certainly have the ears of all those women who remain loyal to God out of reverence for the Creator. How heinous, how sly, how repulsive. Can I wonder now why Christians are having a hard time winning souls when they stand strong for these kind of mindsets. Misconstrued scripture used to justify the violation of Human Rights.

I love God don't get me wrong. But there is something I love just as much: an inalienable right to be identified as an equal on the basis of just being human, damn it! C'mon!

A blog entry on defending privileg which is entirely pertinent to the above. The Gunn Brothers are simply defending their white male privilege and using the Bible in that. True sleaze.

Black Female Celibacy...an Oxymoron?? Beg to Differ!

Reading this article from the 'New Black Magazine' brought to light and quantified in a concise format some thoughts I often have on the topic of why the stereotypical view of blacks maintains that we are sexually deviant, promiscuous and simply out-of-control in a kind of animalistic way. Also the sense of entitlement and claiming that seems to be made when it comes to women's bodies in general. If this were not the case why would sexual harassment in public be such a common place thing. I just wonder what gives a complete stranger the right to try and meddle with private parts of your body, in public for that matter so here comes a misogynistic aspect of this kind of behaviour - a need to humiliate a woman for no valid reason. It's a shame, a complete and utter shame yet when the complaints erupt, they are seldom taken seriously. In fact they are laughed upon, further perpetuation of the humiliation.

The treatment and portrayal of the female form in mainstream media seems to always boil down to this irrational notion that women do not have claim to their own bodies and what happens to them thereafter. That we see so many numerous cases of rape victims becoming the accused while their perpetrators are viewed with sympathy as the poor guy who got seduced by a women dressed raunchily who sought to use her sex to take a wealthy or powerful or publicly well-known figure down such as the case of Crystal Mangum. Now nobody seems to know what went down the night of the alleged incident but one cannot turn their eyes away from the fact that if she was raped, there is no way she would be able to have her attackers punished for their crimes. They bask in the glory of male privilege, the general public is completely favourable to sportsmen in most cases and as a figure that is commonly viewed in society as completely lascivious and sexually immoral, it is no wonder she is the one to take the blame for the assault.

Now perhaps one can understand why a complaint about the sexualization of the female form in mainstream media is not just a bunch of old tannies and oupas with overly traditionalist values and world-views frowning upon any kind of indecency or even perhaps overly religious members of the public who dismiss sexual immorality in fear of God's condemnation. Rather the problem lies in the fact that these images infiltrate the unconscious mind's of our young men and feed them with the notion that they are entitled to do as they will with women's bodies, that the female form exists to gratify the sexual hunger of the species and this in turn leads to an outward expression of these underlying beliefs: sexual harassments, rape and other sex-crimes.

Why Chauvinists Should Take Rape Seriously (will the poor things ever)

I could not have said it any better myself. The light-hearted way in which chauvinists treat the issue of rape. If I could write a constitution for the world it would entail a law that sends men who laugh at, mock or even blame rape victims to jail for a little experience of their own. See how they'll like that. Either way here's the post that struck my interest.

Tell me after reading this that women should just "sit back and enjoy the ride" when being forced to endure an event that will leave them emotional scarred for an immensely long time thereafter. It's not even about sex, it's about a heinous theft of power. But when "you're just a boy" how can you understand anything remotely close that level of insight and below-the-surface thinking.

Zapiro...my man!

Whilst this nation is slowly being sucked into a gravitational vortex of increased inflation, endless power cuts, stadiums that aren't going to be ready in time to host the world's biggest football event, there is even more to be anxious about. If all goes according to plan, this already ailing country is going to be served with a God-only-knows-how-long jail sentence which will be Zuma's term(s) in office. Tragedy! An alleged rapist, a man who advises civilians residing in a country with the highest HIV/AIDS infection rate on the planet to take a shower after having sex with a possible carrier in order to avoid personal infection, the bloody arm's deal man! On top of that we have idiot Malema proclaiming that his comrades and him will be more than zealous to kill for Zuma, already bad enough considering the never-ending 'Umshini Wami' chant we're forceably subjected to every night on the news.

Where is this country going? Sometimes it seems the best thing you can do for yourself is switch off to it all and try, I mean just try and act as though really it's all good back at base camp but that's a hard thing to do man because the governance of the nation will affect you in the long run anyway no matter how hard you try to alienate yourself from current affairs.

But all the praise to this iconic cartoonist we have come to know for his shameless way of sucking some humour out of the disturbing and difficult-to-digest truths about our tragic nation. Zapiro is the man (for lack of a better way of expressing the gratitude and admiration tantamount in many of those that get a read of the Sunday Times Canvas every week). This was nothing more than genius at work. Raping the justice system - his corrupt manipulation and disregard for the consitution of a country he wishes to lead in a year's time; then of course we have the commentary on what we saw as a absolute chauvinism in his approach during the rape trial in 2006. Now, chauvinism and patriarchy are undeniable traits of African tradition no doubt about that but what strikes me as even more tragic is the internalized chauvinism prevalent in the mindsets of Africa women. During the rape trial instead of witnessing outrage from the female majority at the fact that such a prominent leader in ANC politics would be involved in such a crude exploitation of women's rights (especially considering that the affected was an African female herself), we saw a support and oh my goodness, even a defense and sympathy for Zuma's judicial plight. Have these men got these women's brains manipulated so bad that they have gotten to the point of viewing the rapist (as many times is the case) as a victim of some woman's cruelty in dismissal. How truly sickening!

Then you have the camp of so-called feminists round here accusing Zapiro of being insensitive towards the many rape victims in the country by portraying a cartoon in which the theme of rape is manifest. This is silly logic and I'll say this with assertion because if anything, the cartoon's central focus was villifying Zuma's credibility as a political leader and not a form of portraying women in a chauvinistic light once more. Zuma is the misogynist not Zapiro. Zzz zzz. Haha. Know what, Zapiro is kind of suffering racism right now. Black people are now looking for a way of averting our scornful attention from the perpetrator of the moment. Let me tell ya, it sure aint Zapiro. If anything this man is doing good deed for us by exposing this sham of a leader we have been forced to embrace as the new ANC president and a very plausible future president for our country.

The Problem with being a Female Critic of Female Objectification and Misogyny

From the several individuals I've chatted with about these issues lately, I've received some negative feedback pertaining to common perceptions about women who counterattack topics of chauvinism, gender equality, misogyny and female objectification in mainstream media. It's often personal attacks about feminists especially from members of the species with understandably very little understanding of the seriousness of these issues owed to the fact that they not only benefit from this kind of exploitation of the female form but also revel in its advantages. It's simply not a problem for them so they fail to understand why feminists are feminists and lull themselves to the twisted logic of assuming that feminists are just a bunch of ugly women who can't hook up. (Sigh at the tragedy of anti-intellectualism)

I got this from my brother who assumed after admitting my disdain to the above concerns that I say this because I think I am unattractive. What do personal looks have to do with anything. I then realised how shallow and very "surfacey" my brother and furthermore any other members of the species who reduce themselves to this highly uninformed mindset are.

It's nothing personal. I now see that this is the problem with critiquing gender ideals when you are a woman. Your OBJECTIVE views will always be stripped down (if not by comforming ladies) by members of the species to a point where it is seen as an opinion influenced by personal experience and not the experience or the treatment of the collective female group on a universal scale.

By Mere Association Alone

So after watching The Showbiz Report tonight. Hip hop video director Little X answered this after being questioned about the level of female objectification in music videos. As a result of imperfect memory and a brain cluttered with all sorts of other stuff, I will have to paraphrase his sentiments. He mentioned that the whole thing often times has nothing to do with him. He is just the director and the artists are the ones who are responsible for the lyrical content and ideas propagated. So that is to say he is excusing himself from the whole stuff. Now this argument does not help much. Because by mere association he is showing that he does agree with this kind of mindset. If you are not okay with associating yourself with some kind of notion then there is no paycheck in the world that convince you to sell your soul and partner with the brutes. This is why one must be stubborne about what they stand for and avoid associating themselves with brutes. Whatever the cost. Be radical and leave the sheep be.

Typical Male Thinks With His Dick

I love this song...thank you Ms Jones. It seems members of the species (you know which one I'm talking about) and I HATE to generalise. To all the loving, sensitive, caring, intelligent men out there. Sorry that you are being misrepresented by a bunch of loonies but unfortunately the cookie seems to be crumbling this way. In mainstream culture and what is one to do to combat this all encompassing force. It's driving us all down into a vortex of debauchery and sheer stupidity. I am not a misandrist despite much motivation to become one, I refuse to see all badness and negativity in the species because I have a father who is such a sweetheart, he's like a gigantic teddy bear and a brother, who although smokes, has a beer belly and yells for no apparent reason sometimes is a kind person with a lot of potential to be a stable father. Then there's my other brother who might have some issues with his childhood and having a deadbeat dad is really down, sensitive and compassionate.

My brother and I had a little debate. All I said was the majority of perps and criminals out there who make life difficult for women and children are men. He started going off about how men themselves are victimised a lot more...obviously this member of the species doesn't have his head screwed on correctly. Minor adjustments must be made. One only has to look at statistics. Then he related this little anecdote about how some women went driving around in a gang raping men in KwaZulu Natal...wow, that makes such an impact when every six minutes a woman is raped in this country. These incidents are so isolated so much so that a story like this would probably be good for a laugh, although it really shouldn't. As far as I'm concerned double standards shouldn't exist at all.

Here are the song lyrics I was talking about, they are so true... double standards! When will the madness ever end...I guess to even think that there is a possible end to it would be wishful thinking. This may be a surly conclusion but the way I view it, there can never be harmony between the sexes. Rape is not a sex crime, its a political crime, it's a power trip...or perhaps a robber thereof, an expression of pure misogyny. How closely related violence and sex are I am coming to realise. The evil of a man's heart...ah, humans - truly a sick bunch!

THE LYRICS...Typical male,
Thinks with his dick,
D.I.C.K

The continuing saga, of male control and domination,
Psycho, sexual,and female manipulation in our society
Typical male thinks with his dick.
Thats how he rationalizes shallow sexual conquests
as a means of self expression and fulfillment in a world of alienation,
and emptiness under moraling (?) capitalism
The typical male considers a similarly promiscuous woman
a whore, a slut, or a sleaze.
However a women who seeks respect and commitment in a relationship,
will often face rejection
By the typical male.

Typical male,
Thinks with his dick.

Historically some of the characteristics of the typical male
are as follows:
There is the stereotypical, bruteful (?), insulting, barbaric male.

We also have what is known as the sensitive rapist
who wants a woman to feel that there is a mutual understanding
before he entraps the woman in a cycle of co-dependence and sexual service.

Then there is the pseudo-feminist.
He may be involved in the woman's movement
but still represses by imposing his own male agenda
on women's equality.
The typical male is an everyday ?? religion and cutthroat

Typical male,
Thinks with his dick,

Typical male listens to a woman from the position
of dominance or privilege.
What that means for the woman
is that the typical male does not listen!
The typical male convinces women to blame themselves for a failing relationship or male infidelity.
typical males have a reactionary and a conservative ??
a klansman standing on a ???
typical male is also a liberal
he support world force and why not
he impregnates women and cannot deal
with the consequences of her ?????
All men are the typical male.

In a society where incidents of rape and sexual assault are staggering
the typical male will still say
"If she don't want to get pregnant
she shouldn't spread her legs."
In the us alone where 4 women are killed a day by their male partners
Where 80 women are raped every hour
Where every 18 seconds a woman is battered
The typical male still defines sexism and misogyny a form of good
behavior.
In a potentially sexual situation,
The typical male still thinks
NO MEANS YES!"

TRUTH HAS BEEN SPOKEN!!!

"