Bitter and Big-Bodied: who are you listening to?

Women really put each other through hell. When a woman has a problem with the way she looks, she may have a tendency to attack another woman through gossip, vindictive words and insults. I'm tired of having to withstand lame and unwarranted remarks, hostility and rudeness from other women when all I've ever done is address them with respect. Of course when a person's nasty side is revealed it becomes hard to be amiable. So the mode of conduct changes. That doesn't mean the person you insulted is the 'skinny bitch' you always suspected she was, it means that you need to stop projecting your body insecurity onto other people and focus on improving your life. It's always the same superficial nonsense about looks. I think of my own life and how some notice the tiniest fluctuations in my weight and make open remarks about it. With glee they'll say "Ha, you've gained some weight I see." I'll just smile dismissively and walk on. Who gives a damn? I swear they perceive me as a mannequin sometimes. I've heard people comment about my body size in my presence while I'm right there just rambling on with incredible stupidity. It's bizarre this obsession women especially have when it comes to comparing their bodies with those of other women. Thin women often bear the brunt of big girl's bitter emotions at struggling with weight issues. I'm not even that thin. I couldn't care less whether I am the "right" size. My emphasis is on health not how good I look to men. I mean what? Why live for male approval? I have different aims. Yet I'm villified often as a way of trying to put me down by telling me I'm not a proper anyway because I don't seek attention from men or act in a way that is gender conforming. It's as if I have insecurities that don't belong to me projected and in putting a thinner woman down, one who is not happy with their size can feel better about herself.

Don't get me wrong. I have a thick skin but being human, I guess I have enough of it sometimes. Enough of awful words from people who don't know me but assume life is rosy because I an a thin young woman. Why does this myth exist? That life is sufficiently easier for a woman when she is thin. This is not true. It's not easier or worse. It's all relative to circumstance not body size. Even in the dating arena. It's not any easier trying to find someone if you're skinny. I've been living the life of a hermit for so long. You can't tell me being thin helps you find someone. In thinking that you can insult a person and expect that it is okay because they are thin is a fallacy. It's just ridiculous. In trying to level themselves against other women thinking that they big size makes them less superior, these women only end up creating animosity and what does that help. This is exactly why I don't conform to western society's ideas about female behaviour and appearance. It's the strife and complication trying to fulfill these standards brings. Here I am getting regularly dissed by big girls that have a hard time accepting themselves for who they are because fashion mags keep talking diet fads and praising the skinny look. The annoying thing about it. I have fucking noting to do with it. I just happen to be thin myself. It's all just a great big circus I tell you.

More to Love

Mika sang it well - "Big girls, you are beautiful". It's wonderful to see such a strong emergence of non-skinny women on the entertainment scene. The standards must erode away until they're gone. Not every woman out there is super-thin. Big girls usually have the most powerful voices anyway.



Gabourey Sidibe who acts in the movie Precious. The movie has not come out yet so can't say much but I'm anxious to see it.



Beth Ditto, lead singer of the group gossip who's impressed everyone with her unique vocals. What a diva.

Saying I'm Vain Wouldn't Be Fair

I'm not vain. My face is a canvas and my scalp is my terrain. I approach matter of my image as an artist or landscaper will treat their work. With careful precision and knowledge of one's own self in order to fully express all that is within in the physical realm.

Tomorrow is Saturday and I'm seeking the assistance of a hair stylist to vamp up my look. I'm going short and asymmetrical. Cropped on one side and fairly long the other. I've been inspired by those eccentric youngsters and their avant-garde hair designs that defy convention.

I want to go off the hair extensions for a long time. Short hair is chic and easy to manage. Figured I'll give it a go. Reading Luuvie's post about Solange's short hairdo at the incroyable Black Snob's website encouraged me. Society has a preference for women with long hair. So?

Quit Hollering Will You

So while the objectification of the female form is hardly ever surprising at all, this post at the racalicious website conveyed in a succint manner every reason why rap videos are not offensive but destructive in informing society about ways in which Black women are viewed with respect to societal heirarchies.

While I'm all for celebrating diversity and promoting self-love through the positive presentation of stereotypically negated aspects of people's appearances across the colour spectrum, I have to admit that I have avoided rap videos for years now. For the same reasons that are stated in the above article.

It is disturbing, as an individual who considers themselves head first and body second, to have to acknowledge the fact that my body may be viewed as nothing more than a "communal" object to be publicly spoken about, groped and gazed upon. Even more disturbing is that society encourages this kind of behaviour from men as some kind of male bravado expression.

So the messages that rap videos are transmitting are harmful because they fail to portray Black women in a non-sexual light which means that as a Black women, no matter how you try to prove yourself as an intellectually-competent individual. There will always exist those latent sexual associations which hinder your capability as an intelligent individual in the eyes of those that know no better than to absorb images from rap videos without applying any sort of critical thinking.

Rap videos are essentially misogynstic. This is an aspect many scholars and academics have pointed out in their critiques. Yet as Black people we continue to support a music that rejects the idea that women of colour are in any way able to function on an intellectual level. When little boys and girls are exposed to this, what is it that they learn. That to be a man is to dominate women and utilize them as passive sexual tools, collect them in an ornamental fashion and dress them up, parade them to the public as modern-day Venus Hottentots only to exclaim "Hey, look fellas, my woman is hot!" Furthermore, that to be a woman is to tolerate this as "normal" and sexualize oneself. Dumbing herself down in the process only to be bestowed with the crown of male appreciation and have one's self-esteem boosted as a result of male applause.

As long as women remain stuck in the notion that in order to maintain self-love and that they must live up to beauty standards that society sets up for them progression will not happen. Progression toward a state of gender equality. Women are not afforded the chance to operate as individuals outside of the consideration of aesthetics. How can one spend their whole life wasting money on beauty cosmetics and hair-do's waiting for another to validate their appearance by calling it beautiful when self-acceptance of one's natural form has not taken place?

The Underdog from an English Village - Susan Boyle

So there's been immense hype generated lately by the middle-aged spinster Susan Boyle who recently partook in an audition for Britain's Got Talent.



She may not look like your average diva - graceful, stylish, "attractive" in the general sense but one can't deny that the woman's got some incredible laryngeal powers. What a pure and brilliant voice! Suprising to most considering the package. But this is why I have an affinity to her. From her appearance alone she was misjudged as untalented, incompetent yet she is anything but. Inspiring! Truly inspiring. Perhaps there is some advantage to being an underdog in one's field of competition. Who expects you to win, to emerge out tops? Barely anyone. Which is why your success always ends up as a complete surprise. I'll be glad to see her go on to do well as a professional singer. She deserves it. Her talent and spirit have taken me over.

Love this Woman!!



Charting a record-high of approximately 45 million views on YouTube we have the draling Susan...beautiful!

Colonized Mentalities: Skin Bleach and that...

Let me just say that the subject matter alone of skin bleach horrifies, repulses and enrages me. There is no better way to see right into the core of colonized mentality in the black female's mind than to observe this trend. Lighter is better huh? That is what the one's with their mind's on the white patriarchal savage's leash will say.
I have family members that have bleached and probably still bleach. One of them happens to be my very own mother who know that she has of course accumulated the wisdom of experience regrets ever having done so. There is something else too that she has accumulated...permanent black discoloration marks from years of high dosage hydroquinone. Marks that serve as a reminder not only to her but to me of how dangerous it becomes for a black female to carry the racist colonial mindset.




How do you begin to express the tragedy of skin bleaching. Like the woman in the above insert said, it begins with self-acceptance. Love yourself and the confidence will shine through. It is an attitude that begins in the mind and there is nothing more inhibited of self-love than the deep hurts and gashes of black inferiority which are almost inevitable considering the social structure of the mad world we live in.

So, conclusions...fuck the media again!