Relationship-Diving

This is something I just don't get myself. How some people just jump in and out of relationships so readily. Ms Janet who is sporting the short look now is onto the next one/on to the next one/on to the next one...

Janet Jackson chopped off her locks and debuted a new super-short haircut. She is currently promoting her movie 'Why Did I Get Married Too?' and was snapped leaving London's Cecconi restaurant with the much shorter 'do. Perhaps the 43-year-old singer-actress decided to change up her style because of the new man in her life, wealthy Qatari businessman Wissam Al Mana.

Taken from this article at Popeater.com

So I guess it's a bit like trying on different clothes. It looked good on the hanger but once you got to the change-room to try it on, mmmmm not so good no more.

So it's on to the next one/on to the next one/on to the next one...

Eehee hee hee

No actually, Mwahahaha!!

Typical Attention-Seeking / Why Care Anyway?

Hello, 24 hours and what do I miss. John Mayer gives a ridiculous interview in Playboy and makes some iffy statements that nobody should actually be paying attention to because I feel as if he is being rewarded for his deliberate attention-seeking ways by being given attention. I did not even read the interview in full. But Black Snob offered some opinions and insight and so have racalicious

Why am I even bothering to talk about this guy. I don't know. This celebrity-obsessed culture of ours. Douchebags will always be douchebags.

But hold on...despite my embarrassment in the fact that I am paying attention to this absurd interview. I should say this. I am in no way despaired by the fact that he doesn't find women of African descent attractive. As Snob said, that is his business. We all have preferences anyway. This somehow kind of reminds me of the way in which black men will gloat it in your face that they are dating a non-black woman. As if some kind of vengeance is being taken on the collective black female population for reasons unmentioned. I take it they have past heartbreaks that cause them to hold grudges. Why everybody in everybody's business. I don't know that brother at the mall who is with a white girl. Who is he? Don't know. Should I be jealous for someone who I am not only not attracted to at all but do not even know? I don't know John Mayer. There's no reason for me to feel awful about his statements. It really is his business. As it always should be. Attraction to someone usually transcends the superficial. Someone can be attractive but have zero levels of class, zero morals, zero personality and zero character. would that person be suitable for a long-term or serious affair. Heck no. That's that. The opinions and beliefs of strangers on the street, on the telly or wherever bear no importance to my emotional, personal well being or sustenance.

How About a Little Contented Singlehood

Here's a topic I rarely approach on this blog. My love-life or lack of one, I should say. Sivving through the comment section on Black Snob's blog in response to the problem Black women in the US seem to face regarding marriage, I found this quote.

Until recently,(I'm ashamed to admit) I was beginning to think that I wasn't attractive enough to get a man. I was beginning to think that I was invisible to single men within my age group and with whom I share an educational background. I couldn't figure out what wrong with me.
Now I see things in a different light. First, if the women in this video don't have mates then something else must be afoot because they are all beautiful and accomplished. Second, I realize that maybe, deep down, I cherish my independence and freedom too much, to want to share with anyone. I like who I am with all my quirks and don't want to change. Why should I? Add to that, relationship people ( you the type who always speak in terms of "we") really annoy me. And married women who feel that the goal in life was to get a man marry them, just are not my type of people.

So, I am not alone in thinking this. For a while, it seemed that I was the only one within my circles who regards relationships as not-quite-necessary-for-my-survival. I understand that they are important. Yes, a bit of companionship is good for the psyche afterall. But is it so absolutely necessary that a person must take on a puzzled expression and then quiz you on the fact that you are not presently in a relationship. It seems as if there is some universal message we have all come to accept which says that there is something faulty about being single and that one's state of singlehood must be uncomfortable. In response to my singlehood, I have heard comments along the lines of "Why not?" or "How can that be?" And the most baffling one of all came from a married old man who claimed that he would have to "fix that"....eeeeew!!!!! Lol! And wondered what problem I would have with sharing a place with a boyfriend. You know what? They do not call this living in sin for no reason!! Again, this is something I just do not get. It's bad enough you would have to live with that person after getting married but to do so before...hey, maybe if you really do love someone you'd put up with the annoying habits.

No wonder so many people, women especially, overload themselves with panick at the thought of not being able to find the "perfect" mate before their biological clockc tick out.

I would like to say that I am in no mood for panick. Yes, I have ages to go before any such even occurs with regards to the plumbing downstairs. Even now, whilst most it appears are hopping between relationships - trying to look for the "right" one, they explain. I, for some reason, just could not be bothered at all. Besides the fact that a relationship may be a cause for unecessary stress (dealing with personality differences, psychological issues...what the hell do I know??), it just doesn't strike me as something that important. I might change my mind in future but right now, educating my black ass seems to take number one priority. And I know how older people like to advise us about how we should enjoy our youth while it lasts and we'll never look this good again. But surely there is more to life than mindless hedonism (sex, drugs and rock 'n roll). When that's all you consider as what comprises a "good time", then of course someone like me who finds alternatives will strike you as a bore, too serious or a person wasting away their youth on books and philosophy. But we are all essentially individuals at the end of the day - with our own little quirks. Often, depending on the person one finds themselves in a relationship with, these idiosyncracies are stamped out for the sake of "making a relationship work" and one cannot truly be themselves. Especially at my fragile age of 21 which is only the beginning of my journey through self-discovery, I cannot possibly define what I really want out a relationship. So, instead my focus lies in building a career because if I end up all on my lonesome in the long run, I need to have a way to put bread on my table and feed my invitro-babies. This will be a last resort however, single motherhood is a tough job. Last resort but still an option because you never know.

I want to live being able to fully normalise the concept of singlehood. It is fine. It is good even. How else does one find the time to engage in introspective thought - learning to understand their mind a little better. Marriage should not be what women look for to be "whole". One should find that "wholeness" and confidence in solitude first before joining together with another human in a serious relationship that could possibly last a lifetime. It's not a fairytale, it does happen. In fact, if you two are wise, resilient and compatible enough, it should happen.

As for inter-racial. I'm all for it baby. All the colours of the rainbow (the ethnic one that is).