Star-finding, trailblazing, observing, discovering, learning and most of all, encouraging and urging the female pursuit of traditionally male academic fields of study...and some other things as well.
Got my chance to have a say about my opinions on gender-relations in the Varsity Newspaper and here it is online. So I am satisfied about that not for the stimulation of my ego but rather to offer university students a better clarification of feminism so that the stereotypes of angry, under-sexed, done-wrong, hard, butch, man-hating and power-hungry "bitches" will dissolve somewhat.
I attended a panel discussion during last week on the topic of "Masculinity in South Africa". I was glad to hear strong mention of a deeply entrenched white-supremacist (imperialist) patriarchal masculinity by all three of the panelists with one even making mention of the notion that "masculinity is made" i.e. socially constructed and a result of condition. The kind of masculinity she was making reference to of course that which feeds off of conquest, power and domination. The final panelist was also profound in conveying how this same white-supremacist patriarchal masculinity has embedded itself in our history. How we are made to admire the European colonial style of seizing power of weak natives and that this is the model we naturally wish to follow in order to gain a feeling of satisfaction with ourselves. This reminds me of a quote from Nineteen Eighty-Four in which O'Brein tells Winston, "If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face — forever". That's it..."Power is not a means, it is an end" which is also another quote from the book. It's all its about, that's all it's ever been about. One does not gain power for any other purpose than to satisfy themselves with a sick feeling a contentment. In closing, the panelist left us with the thought that we should continue to think critically about our history and not let history ride over us. If we never question how whites came to dominate the way they do, we'll never understand our the power-structure, economic-system and social-heirarchies. Why some people have it easier than others. History can not be divorced from the present. History has shaped our present and trying to forget about it will not make it's influence on today disappear.
But I still find this one interesting. The Deputy Editor of Varsity in the usual Editor's Comment section writes this:
If someone is against abortion, homosexuality and disagrees with feminism then that is their right and they should not be adversely judged or treated for believing it. The world, indeed liberals need more people who adhere to the bible saying that says “let those who are without sin cast the first stone”.
Now although I agree with the notion of letting people be and not interfering with their personal right for individual expression, I have got to say that underneath Tatenda's self-righteous veil, he is practicing a very common habit patriarchal males struggle with and that is defending male privilege. Anyone who disagrees with feminism is simply defending male privilege and chauvinistic ideas.
Enough about that, during gender week three large boards were placed up at the Jammie Plaza one with the words gender week, another with a female figure and another with a male figure. With this, people were asked to write about their thoughts about gender and as you would expect the boards were cluttered with obscene, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic remarks aplenty. No surprise, are young people expected to have any morsel of maturity in a discussion of this nature. As consumers of highly sexist forms of entertainment what more would you expect aside from the usual sexualized trash when it comes to the topic of the gender-binary.
Through CNet e-mail, I only found out about this incident this incident now. I do not refute the fact for a second that this young man would not have been arrested had he been a caucasian male. It sounds harsh becuase racism is essentially harsh you know. Harsh on those that have to live it everyday of their damn lives.
Off the record, in dozens of interviews over a period of years, male soldiers and officers have confided that many men resent women because they've been forced to pretend that women are equals, and men know they're not.
This is typical internalized chauvinism at its very best. As if the solution to the crisis of male violence can be solves by reverting into a time past where women were severely oppressed and not offered equal right. Let it be said that I don't think these acts only started to take place in a post-feminist era. Sexual violence against women has been going on since the beginning of time and stopping women from joining the military will not make that fact disappear. Instead of blaming a system that raises boys with a notion that violence, coercion, domination and manipulation are expressions of true masculinity, she blames women for the violence enacted upon them. How typical and how reflective of a person who has absorbed so much of the patriarchal ideology that she fails to attack it. It's always easier to blame a woman from a misogynistic perspective.
Before I begin, let me just say this. Yes, I LOVED Fight Club, I think it's one of the dopest movies ever made. I enjoyed watching it, I enjoyed the way the storyline unfolded. I enjoyed the way Helene Bonham Carter played the eccentric Marla Singer to perfection. I enjoyed Brad Pitt's half-naked body. I enjoyed the wonderfully-nuanced performance Ed Norton gave (yeah, I think he's sexy too). So, after reading the book a while ago and reading Chuck Palahnuik's afterword in which he lists the innumerable ways in which pop culture has assimilitated the movie and turned into something of a modern-film classic.
But why does the vision of a place where men can go to vent their frustrations with life through physical brutality hold so much appeal. Why is this an image that is so seductive? In my mind, much of this has got to do with quite obvious patriarchal definitions of masculinity. Built along the lines of a capitalist mentality which asserts that manliness is reinforced by one's ability to bring home the meat, Fight Club paints the picture of a man who is frustrated mainly as a result of his failure to live up to the very standards that a capitalist society maintains. In escaping from a life of materialism and choosing to live simply, Tyler Durden attempts to escape the pressures of a life built on the importance of accumulating possessions but chooses instead a life through which violence offers enrichment and fulfillment. The will to do violent acts is instrinsic, I believe, in this same patriarchal notion of being a man that Fight Club does nothing more than show us a young white male caught up stuck in much the same way men find themselves stuck and unable to escape the pressures placed on them to live up to the standard of manliness that society insists on maintaining. In that regard, whether Palahnuik offers his character any sort of escape or not (in the book, he ends up in a mental institution), he does a very good job in holding up a mirror to the ways in which capitalist patriarchy operates on the individual psychological level. These are men who seek to reclaim a false notion of masculinity they believe they cannot achieve through violence - they work regular jobs living pay-check to pay-check & grew up in homes where fathers were absent - Fight Club serves as their escape from these numerous castrations they believe life has performed on them. Unyet if only the their mindsets would change, if the definition of masculinity was not based on the same old tired patriarchal ideas, these men would find salvation from their own self-inflicted torture - of absorbing the notion that they have failed to live up to the standard.
It's because of Fight Club's ability to raise this important aspect about the ways in which society's built capitalism create a people who imagine that a life of seeking possessions and wealth is a life well-lived and the story's commentary on how this very society informs gender-expectations that make it a modern-day classic. Beside the twist at the end of the movie that got me so good, I had to stand up for a minute and take a breath, it's a a story that speaks volumes about the tyrannical nature of a white supremacist capitalist patriarchal system (as bell hooks so aptly describes it).
This incident noted at SWPD is heartbreaking. Nobody deserves public humiliation but to face this public humiliation to an indifferent audience is even more painful to experience. It's at this point most people lose faith in people. Some become misanthropes. *Ahem* You realise how cold-hearted people are and you give up, just give up on people in general. It happens on a wide-scale. The folly of it, we are all acting like icy motherfuckers to each other and secretly yearning for compassion yet not doing shit about it. Seems the practice of kindness and compassion requires conscious deliberation. You can't do it automatically because from all the coldness one gets anyway, it's enough to become indifferent and turn the blind eye to injustice anyway. It's a case of "well, why should I - it's not like anyone's been kind to me". But that's where character comes in. If you're strong enough to be kind and empathetic and compassionate despite all the cruel shit people have done to you then you are showing your true worth. This is a tough task but you have pass the test of character with flying colours when you are fully capable of completing it.
Mercury and Venus Over Paris
Credit & Copyright: Josselin Desmars
Explanation: Go outside tonight and see one of the more interesting planetary conjunctions of recent years. Just after sunset, the planets Mercury and Venus are visible quite near each other. Now Venus, being commonly discernible as one of the brightest objects in the sky, is frequently mistaken for an airplane. (Venus will set quite slowly, though.) Mercury, however, is dimmer and usually harder to find. Recently, though, Mercury can be found just to the right of Venus, appearing increasingly below the brighter planet over the next week. Pictured above, Venus and Mercury were imaged next to the famous Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, France. ?A careful inspection of the image will further reveal that the bright object nearly below Venus is iconic Eiffel Tower.
Okay, yeah. It's always been there I just haven't taken notice until this morning when I looked in the direction of the Eastern sky at 6h15 just before sunrise whilst a waning gibbuous moon made it's passage toward meridian. There it was, the morning (and evening star) shining very brightly. Reflecting about 70% of incoming solar radiation, it is the brighest object in the sky. Even when the sun is rising, light population isn't great enough to diminish its effects.
This is an article I just sent to the Opinions Section for the Varsity Newspaper. Hope they publish it. The whole thing that is! Here goes:
In response to Gosia Podgorska's succint article about the subtle ways in which chauvinism comes into play within our daily interactions with one another, I would like to expand on a number of points she made. But firstly, and this is by far the most important piece of news you will ever receive with regards the feminist movement: it is not an ideology that seeks to point men out as egregious rapists, wife-beaters and murderers. Quite clearly, there are plenty of men, young and old that each one of us can point out as not coming even nearly close to fitting this profile. But the truth of the matter is, on a broad scale, our world's collective society has evolved in such a way as to place the male gender on a higher position on the heirarchy. We see this manifestation in the wage-gap phenomenon (which is not much of a phenomenon when one begins to closely inspect the dynamics between genders). The fact that historically, women have been economically-repressed for centuries, by not being given access in the workplace, held back from seeking tertiary education, not being allowed ownership of property and land, disallowed from partaking in the public vote, being given titles in accordance with maritial status (which still happens today mind you) and others are plenty of cause for such a movement as feminism to have struck its climax during the 1970's and though some argue we now live in a post-feminist society (the same claim they would make with respect to race), I disagree. Put simply, until we reach a state of absolute equality between women and men in every sphere of society, feminism will still have its place in attempting to galvanise the notion that yes "Women are people".
To describe this pattern of degrading, dominating, controlling and humiliating women, I use the word misogyny. It's important to note that this word does not relate to the ways in which men view women but often times the ways in which society as a whole treats people who belong to the female gender. Women too can be guilty of it; I can bravely say that because our society is built on sexist beliefs pertaining to the gender-binary and chiefly subscribes to a notion that there are specific and clear-cut roles that women and men must play, the very language we speak, is a language of male chauvinism (upholding the false notion that men are superior to women).
From the ways women's bodies are commodified for media consumption and sexualized for the purpose of male erotic stimulus, it is no surprise that general "guy-talk" or what I would personally call "douchebag-talk" comprises of the excitement found in dominating a women sexually and then calling her a "slut" which relates to a very intrinsic manner in which society as a whole likes to compartmentalize female behaviour - you are either a "good-girl" or a "ho" (the virgin/whore dichotomy). Sexism often shows up in the dismissal of female intelligence and creative agency. Often times women are treated as if we are dumb and are in need of male instruction. It goes further, our ideas are often discredited despite the richness they may carry. In worse cases a male may even steal the idea and take credit for it knowing full well that people will have a better time believing in his intelligence rather than that of a woman. In asserting a gender-binary with regard to stereotyping, we all do ourselves a great disservice. I know for sure, there are young women out there who you'll probably find one afternoon sitting in front of the TV with beer in hand and Arsenal jersey getting aggravated about Fabregas missing the goal. Gender stereotypes are a fallacy, they are socially-constructed. We have effeminate men and tough chicks and plenty other types of personalities that bear to relation to the individual involved's gender whatsoever! What Gosia described is misogyny (hatred of females) in three acts. This perpetual need to re-affirm patriarchal masculinity by observing women as sex-toys, virgins, whores, crazy, uncontrolled, docile etc and not as the individual PEOPLE that they are. It's an attitude that unfortunately does prevail and for this reason, feminism is absolutely necessary in combating misogyny and deconstructing patriarchal definitions of masculinity.
This is some severely twisted, hyperanimated, comic version of Thelma and Louise and yes, me and my twisted, eccentric, always-searching-for-something-different, Grace-Jones-obsessed nature LOVE IT!!!
Beyonce, I have one word of advice for you. Keep on hanging with Gaga, she's your career's only hope. Oh, and while Rihanna is steadily suffocating in the ditches of hypersexualized, young singing sensation, maybe just maybe you can re-invent yourself and stop boring the pants off of everybody with the same old material.
Yeah, and thank God you dropped the Sasha Fierce get-up. That was getting a little tired too.
Good yes, Queen Grace. You have plenty to be proud of! Look at the legacy you've left behind. Ah, it's just wonderful.
My college campus is running a 10 Days of Academic Activism and part of their campaign is this:
This campaign serves as a reminder to all students that our academics are the means through which we can take ourselves to new heights and reach the goals that we have set out to achieve in our lives.
I love it when people emphasise the importance of the academic life. For me, it's not a matter of toughing it out for a couple of years so that I can get a decent job. It's about taking myself to new heights and using this organ I have sitting in my skull to the absolute fullest. Stretch my mind as far as I can possibly stretch it and do my part in making a positive contribution to the world at large. And not for vanity's sake. Oh no! (Although, I am tempted to sometimes...that's a sincere admission which took plenty of courage to make.)
Firstly, I'm sure none of us who have followed Erykah since the very first days when she was crooning about her man calling his homeboy Tyrone and telling him to get his isht and what not that Ms Badu is ummm...eccentric. Yes, we have all known that. But if you haven't given a toot about her until now then you may not be able to understand where she is coming from artistically. Such as the bottom three people who I couldn't imagine knowing a single thing about her until their news network made them aware of the story which they'd have to critically discuss and offer opinions too.
Offensive?? What could be so offensive about a nekkid female body. She's naked, yeah, so?? Not like you don't know what the female anatomy looks like is it?
They're comments were too superficial. They were only talking about surface stuff - her being nude, the kids around, disrespectful of the president. Looking deeper. See the symbolism behind her choosing to mimic the assasination of JFK - a president who at a time of great civil turmoil in the US, attempted to make strides in ending segregation and galvanising a creed of equality. He was a revolutionary somewhat, why else did the people's feel such intense loss when he was shot down. So, if anything - this is a good remark for the legacy of JFK, one of America's most loved presidents. But people, as usual, too simpleminded to understand metaphoric speak.
Another thing - as for them not understanding the correlation between the video's statement and her lyrics. PUH-LEASE! I've only heard a bit of the song and know very well that she is communicating her wish for liberation, for a sense of freedom from all the limiting standards that society sets up along lines of gender, race, sexual orientation, age etc etc. And how all this eventually evolves to mistrust of the other, ignorance, fear and eventually hatred of those whom are dissimilar to ourselves. DUH! But I guess when you have been privileged and a member of the dominant racial group, you'd never understand this quest to escape dominance and oppression because you simple haven't experienced this.
Catch the video at http://erykahbadu.com. But where oh where could that unedited cut be?? Hmmmm???
He's even touring Asia now. This is deep stuff. Deeep!
Okay, they watch American Idol. We watch American Idol. Think it's safe to say that American Idol is the most watched Idol competition in the world. Mainly because anyone who makes it in America, usually makes it in the rest of the world. It is the hub of music industry success. As seen with my darling Glambert.
Alice Walker
Maya Angelou
Toni Morrison
Terry McMillain
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Zora Neal Hurston
Tsisti Ndangaremba
bell hooks
Ntozake Shange
Straight from the top of my head, this is all I could think of. Yet, if you had asked me to name white authors (male especially) on the other hand, I would probably summon a list far greater than this. Despite the fact that I am a a black female myself. Why is there such a shortage of acclaimed female writers especially those who are of African descent. Is it an issue...yes? Because it does not, as a person who may try to deny racism would say, that Black women cannot write. NO! The work of the above women is not an exception. There exist talented authors in every race and of every gender. But in a world that insists on privileging the white human above all other people's, people of colour especially women of colour have their talents often ignored since we are not expected to have a knack for narrative, or even a brain for that matter. Yes, I took it there. It's no secret that women of colour are thought of as empty-headed. That's why my existence is not only fascinating enough to write about. It would be a shame to hold these experiences to myself. The lives of people of colour are rich with stories of pain, humiliation, oppression, and on the opposite end love, compassion, joy and beauty that it is ridiculous to me to see a lack of writers within this demographic.
Black women, Asian women, Biracial women need to find the bravery to write. It is only with finding the confidence not to give a fuck whether your book will go dusty on the store shelf that one begins the journey of conceiving the first sentence, paragraph and page of that novel or memoir.
Yeah, she's dope. Yeah, I love her. Yeah, she inspires me. What upsets me to the core is all of those patriarchal sexist buffoons who feel it necessary to make sniding remarks about the way she looks. There have been many and it will not end. We live in a world that defines a woman's worth based on her looks. Courtesy of a male relative, I was given the information that this notion also has deep roots in the Christian faith. He told me that Jesus was apparently a very unattractive man and that this meant simply nil. His ministry still had great power and anointing because of his charisma and other positive attributes. And that Esther's beauty was her "gift" and that she was the "most beautiful woman to ever live". So these obviously sexist ideas that emanate from the Bible seem to have my brother thinking that there is an obvious Biblical justification for the assertion of a rigidly defined gender-role system. Where it is the male's job to hold power and the woman's job just to sit around looking pretty. And in this, he probably sees no problem with objectifying and sizing a woman's value up based solely on her looks, ignoring other qualities that may not be aesthetically visible.
The Bible is full of patriarchal messages no doubt about that. But the sadness in all of it is that those who believe in the absolute divinity of the Bible follow suit according to the ideas presented and refuse to accept any form of revolt because this kind of thing would yield one as a doubting Thomas. A person "possessed" enough to question the word of God.
Coming back to the First Lady of the United States. Who is an exceptional academic, scholar, mother and human being. These men know that she is lightyears ahead of them intellectually, morally and characteristically. The closest they can get to attempting to satisfy their patriarchal egos is making weak "disses" which are, I imagine, but mere dust beneath this powerful woman's feet.
Yes, dozing off when I know I shouln't be. Those guilty feelings one gets for taking in too many hours. Someone once told me that when you feel tired, no matter what you feel needs to be done...just sleep! I'll take her advice. Once I'm up to date with everything. Until that time. I'm just so darn sleepy, dog!
**Afterthought: air-conditioned rooms are a great thing. Too much heat and comfort, a recipe for disaster when the midnight oil requires major burning.
Yes, Cuba...it's been a dismal series of movie roles since that winning "Show me the money" shot. Even found yourself doing Disney movies. Snowdogs! Enough said.
And then there's that man who plays the lead in that mediocre action programme, Leverage, Timothy Hutton. If you had told me, without prope pictorial evidence that he won an oscar, I really wouldn't believe it.
Finally, the man himself, Louis Gosset Jr. That I can understand but what a tragedy it's all turned out to be post the era of "Fight the Power" and afro hair-dos. And if it were not for these Heineken beer ads we seem to be getting over here...the "What are you doing Dave?" thing. I swear I wouldn't even remember who this man is.
But others may perceive you as slightly deranged or of the notion that others are less than relative to you. I don't like having to dismiss people when I have that urge to be alone. It comes across as a bit insulting but that is the intended motive. To diss someone. Sometimes, I just prefer my own company, some silence and the space to be unabashedly authentic.
I often find that in order to be truly myself around someone, I must trust them enough. This often takes time. This may be a result of my upbringing. I can't tell but if you and me aren't cool, there is no way you'll really get to see the real side of my personality.
Walking alone is also very convenient. You get where you need to in your own time and at your own pace without having to accomnodate the wishes of another. Writing alone is perhaps the only way I can write and that includes academic writing. When I want to grasp the concept of something, there must be enough silence for me to hear my thoughts otherwise, I become confused and fail to absorb anything.
Although I do balance alone-time with the presence of company, I do not find being alone unbearable, in fact, I've grown to like it not because I am timid and self-conscious. Simply because I have found myself most capable of stronger mental activity when I am by myself and surrounded by complete and utter silence.
Thank you Lady Gaga for pointing out what may sound cliche by now but should never cease to be spoken of. Double-standards when it comes to naming female and male sexuality differently. Why it becomes a conquest for the latter has plenty to do with once again, a very rigid definition of patriarchal masculinity.
This song is excellent for this topic by the way.
o-What am i not s'pposed to have an opinion? Should i be quiet to speak because i'm a woman? Call me a bitch (bitch) cause i speak what's on my mind Guess it's easier for you to swallow if i sat and smiled
The ads that are showing up on my page are interesting to say the least. "Ukrainian Wives" up for sale. Mail-order brides are a big deal especially when they come from Russia, Ukraine, the Phillipines and various other countries in the world. Aside from the obvious reasons I can identify that would place a demand on such a woman, the normalization of this trend is profoundly disturbing. Women, of course, being commodified is no big deal. I tried to google the phrase "Ukrainian Husbands" and hardly anything on that topic showed up. In fact, what did show up was a mass of ads for the opposite as well as articles on the topic of mail-order brides. Hmmm. Anyone who tries to argue that our world is no longer sexist needs to open their eyes to small examples such as this one.
The tragedy is that women are all to eager to have themselves objectified because they are trapped in a system that normalizes and condones the sexist treatment of women. As George Orwell portrayed in Nineteen Eighty-Four, when there are no standards of comparison in one's mind, social injustice cannot be seen for what it really is. A dehumanization, a rape of the soul. Unless young girls and boys are shown a better way, they will only perpetuate this rotten system of male domination and female submission in all its forms.
I have always had a latent aversion to this book series. The covers just put me off to begin with. Then their titles. Another thing I may not have noticed, which jump-started my aversion in the first place was the propagation of traditional gender norms upon which every single story line is based.
The books are highly branded and are often in a separate section of bookshops and libraries from the other paperback fiction and romance novels. Common themes are rich, ennobled and initially unattainable males (often of Mediterranean--especially Greek--origin), the desire of a character to have a baby (with this being thwarted by infertility or an unsympathetic husband), and the breakup and mending of a relationship.
Exactly. Why all the brothers have to be of European descent (and moneyed by the way) not only attempts to reinforce a notion that women are mostly in it for the money but also the idea that the heterosexual Caucasian male is the ultimate symbol for status, money and power.
The more I understand about patriarchy and its many functions and manifestations in society, ads like this no longer seem to be much of a surprise.
The fact that even boys are included in this imagery is even more surprising to me. Yes, I understand misogyny plays a role in the sexualization of women, especially younger women in public media. That's also nothing new. But boys too. Really.
Aside from the latent homosexual rape theme, the ad seems to try and make analogous sex-slavery with the hold that a smoking habit takes on a person. Which is in a way making light of a very serious issue that cannot be viewed in a comical way no matter what the weather.
Some movies just never go out of style. I always laugh. Always. The Garth-look i.e. jeans, T-shirt of any random design and tartan shirt. Oh, it's the look baby. I rock it regularly. It's so comfortable. I fit right in with the science geeks rocking this one.
Ashamed as I am to admit this. I am strangely turned on by Dana Carvey when he plays Garth. I think he's kind of cute, you know? No, you probably don't...LOL!
Is it or isn't it a gender thing. Any time I see a couple driving out together, the guy is always behind the wheel. As I started to focus my attention on gender roles that are conditioned into the mind's of boys and girls growing up, I immediately began to tie this pattern to the way in which upbringing plays a part in all this.
In my own family which likes to hold true to traditional gender roles, there always seemed to be an underlying belief that driving is more of a manly thing to do. That this fact shows in the notion that boys start to drive, on average before girls do and are usually apparently "better" drivers.
Some comments at Freakonomics spoke of how this pattern relates quite directly to how patriarchal ideas inform men that they should be in control as a means of properly asserting masculinity. So, in a sense, the car is quite clearly a strong phallic symbol. One which affords a boy or man a feeling of dominance and power. Seldom can you find a brother that is secure enough in his masculinity to let you take the driver's seat just because.
After enlightening myself about the different forms in which patriarchal ideas of masculinity show themselves, the senseless killing of a yet another UCT student has taken place. The reason why I look toward this as an explanation is owed to the fact that none of the boys that were attacked were robbed or mugged of any of their possessions. In essence, the murder was gratuitous. Yet these are the ways in which our culture encourages men to exert their masculinity. This if course being a more extreme form but a violent one nevertheless. The key word here. Even in its most subtlest forms when boys are raised up identifying a violent nature with their masculinity, they only become more violent as a means of asserting this especially when insecurities about one's self occur. No, I am no psychologist. But it makes plenty of sense to me for one who feels, at their core inadequate or powerless to find external means of expressing power to overcompensate enough to temporarily remove feelings of weakness. Gang violence is a wonderful example of this model of behaviour. A socially-disadvantaged underclass inhabiting forgotten, poor and dilapidated parts of a city will turn to the use of guns and various other weapons to strike fear into the hearts of their community. As a means of elevating oneself from the pangs of powerlessness in a system that does not care and does not seek to care for you as an individual, as a human being.
Guns, a phallic symbol in a patriarchal world will continue to be the main form of communication that men utilize to enforce power over others until these false conceptions of manhood that have been drilled into all of us are removed.
It is my wish for every boy and man to read this book and come to fully comprehend the pathology of the false conceptions of manhood and masculinity which patriarchal notions continue to propagate...
Many of the problems I encounter mentally with Men's Magazines ala FHM and Maxim, GQ, XXL blah-di-blah-di-blah-blah stems from the idea that women, in order to be considered attractive, must prime themselves up to look and resemble women that are considered "hawt" in these glossy tomes. Women begin to view themselves through the male gaze and alter their appearances in line with male expectations or standards of beauty.
I have to say, though there may have been a point in my life where I succumbed to this pressure. I no longer do and I make it a conscious point to consider my own opinions and wishes above external expectations. In essence, I have that devil-may-care attitude and dress with the intention of expressing all of what I respresent. The androgyny, the punk-rocker/hip-hop head, the artiste...it's an outer representation of all that is within. It is awful to acknowledge that young girls mould themselves around the ideals of the male gaze. Why else would women appear in demeaning, sexualized videos, magazines, movies. Clearly they have normalized the idea of objectifying their bodies for the consumption of a patriarchal culture that condones fear, hate and disrespect of women.
This of course, was inspired by SWPD's err of a post which he eventually corrected after some commenters stated what would be obvious to a feminist woman but not so much to a man that has been raised in a culture of patriarchy that insists on evaluating women solely on their appearance.
These levels of superficiality usually annoy me. But what annoys me more is the fact that those who consider themselves privileged in society seem to think that they get to decide who's hot and who's not and that rest of us should just nod our heads in silent agreement. John Mayer is a great example right now. Talking about Kerry Washington and Holly Robinson Pete being attractive in the eyes of DudeBro X and how that justifies their true attractiveness. Man...these m'fers. So tired. Just so tired.
If only all of us could think a bit more in these terms (including me). We're all guilty. Each one of us. Eluding the forces around us that compel our minds to create divisions where none should exist is hard work. But it is a work that must be done. Consciously. Each day, each minute, each second. "I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me" - precisely.
Hello, 24 hours and what do I miss. John Mayer gives a ridiculous interview in Playboy and makes some iffy statements that nobody should actually be paying attention to because I feel as if he is being rewarded for his deliberate attention-seeking ways by being given attention. I did not even read the interview in full. But Black Snob offered some opinions and insight and so have racalicious
Why am I even bothering to talk about this guy. I don't know. This celebrity-obsessed culture of ours. Douchebags will always be douchebags.
But hold on...despite my embarrassment in the fact that I am paying attention to this absurd interview. I should say this. I am in no way despaired by the fact that he doesn't find women of African descent attractive. As Snob said, that is his business. We all have preferences anyway. This somehow kind of reminds me of the way in which black men will gloat it in your face that they are dating a non-black woman. As if some kind of vengeance is being taken on the collective black female population for reasons unmentioned. I take it they have past heartbreaks that cause them to hold grudges. Why everybody in everybody's business. I don't know that brother at the mall who is with a white girl. Who is he? Don't know. Should I be jealous for someone who I am not only not attracted to at all but do not even know? I don't know John Mayer. There's no reason for me to feel awful about his statements. It really is his business. As it always should be. Attraction to someone usually transcends the superficial. Someone can be attractive but have zero levels of class, zero morals, zero personality and zero character. would that person be suitable for a long-term or serious affair. Heck no. That's that. The opinions and beliefs of strangers on the street, on the telly or wherever bear no importance to my emotional, personal well being or sustenance.
I read The Thing Around Your Neck last month. I found it beautiful. This woman is brilliant. So talented. Really don't know what else to say that could suffice to express the levels of admiration I have for her. She's going to go far. I can see it already. This is only the beginning.
For some reason, I only got the chance to see this now. But wow, she expressed this issue so concisely. "The Danger of the Single Story" is essentially that it inhibits us from seeing more of how things are. More of who people are. It limits us. She summarised this wonderfully in her closing sentence.
"When we reject the single story, when we realise that there is never any single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise."
There is so much truth in just about everything she spoke of. She makes me so proud to be an African today.
It's funny that humans only decide to begin taking stern measures against disaster-prevention after something catastrophic has taken place. It's taken this. The lives of almost 200 000 people to focus in on the danger of the fault line located near Port-au-Prince to bring attention to the fact that early earthquake detection is really needed for the nation of Haiti.As it looks, geologists predict that it is only going to worsen.
The earthquake has increased the stress on this eastern section of the fault south of Port-au-Prince and the section west of the rupture. This has significantly increased the risk of a future earthquake, according to a recent report by the U.S. Geological Survey.
False-color composite image of the Port-au-Prince, Haiti region, taken Jan. 27, 2010 by NASA’s UAVSAR airborne radar. The city is denoted by the yellow arrow; the black arrow points to the fault responsible for the Jan. 12 earthquake. Image credit: NASA
Taken from this NASA article discussing how scientists in this field will use radar image capturing to detect motions and pressures building up within the Earth's crust over periods of time. These satellite images will be fundamental for earthquake detections especially along fault zones such as that of what caused the Haitian earthquake some weeks ago.
This image will be combined with other images of the same area to be acquired later this month and in the future in order to measure the motion of Earth’s surface during the time between images using a technique called interferometry.The interferometric measurements will allow scientists to study the pressures building up and being released on the fault at depth.
It does wonders on the psyche. You feel better able to press forward, embrace the new and leave behind old inhibtors, negative belief-systems, mind-traps that were all the more difficult to escape from in that old place. But when your body now inhabits a new place, your mind seems to follow suit. You even see yourself differently, perhaps even begin to see things for what they are. Old illusions too are left behind.
Was not the least bit surprised last week after hearing that
Zuma has fathered his 20th kid out of wedlock. In fact, I quite remember walking out of the house to take out the trash with the phrase "chronic babydaddy" running through my head. It's in his nature. He's part of that lame group of the populous that defends their debauchery and lack of self-discipline with power and privilege. They're a lot of them. Yes, all the US senators and mayors that have ever been involved a sex scandals. Sportsmen that take on any ole groupie that happens to be flashing her cleavage on their way out of the arena. Can't keep their c**ks away. Just can't do it. The poor babies.
After the trial, he apologized to the nation, saying: “I erred in having unprotected sex. I should have known better.”
You know? This one kind of goes without saying.
In an interview at the World Economic Forum in Davos on Jan. 28, Zuma defended the practice of polygamy and said he treated all his wives equally.
“That’s my culture,” Zuma said. “People interpret culture in different ways. Some people think their culture is superior to others. That’s a problem which we need to deal with.”
And some people think that their GENDER is superior to others. Foolishness! (thank you Niecey Nash). Using the culture argument as usual. Typical African male chauvinist. Will protect your ability to sleep around as much as you want to instead of leading, governing and attempting to improve the state of the nation that you happen to be president of. Yes, I acknowledge that perfection does not exist. But try, just try like Obama does to uphold a certain creed of moral values. You are the leader, we are all meant to follow you. But how can we when most of us are of the opinion that given the chance, we could sure as heck do a better job than you and your sexist, power-obsessed crew are doing.
As if it's not awful enough that citizens of Port au Prince have lost their everything. That foolish individuals are still taking vacationary trips to Haiti to BBQ and jet skii. That young men are being shot down for wanting to have some rice for their hungry stomachs. Kids. Vulnerable young orphaned children are being trafficked out of the country. What kind of madness is it? It's difficult to imagine the kind of chaos that now ensues after the quake. The safety of kids must always take priority. It breaks my heart to know what kind of evils that are perpetrated against children. But to stand by and let it happen is to be a participant. I hope that greater measures will be taken to ensure the children of Haiti are kept safe from these criminals.
Has sort of begun in my life. I've changed my mind about ways in which I approached matters in life. It's funny how a single event or two can just twist your mindset on its head and force you to rethink. Take a chance in life. Break away from old inhibitors. For once, I did so. I found the courage somehow. Galvanised.
She has taken the gong for best supporting actress at the Golden Globes this year. I am just routing for her to do a straight clean sweep this award reason. It will be wonderful to watch. Boy. If she takes the Oscar. I'll just be over the moon for her. More power.
This weekend I fell victim to a violent familial assault based on a very common error in judgement that people make when dealing with black people of varying shades. It is basic knowledge that within the black race, there are alternating degrees of brown intensity. No big deal you may think. But black people who don't observe patterns of behaviour that are informed by social heirarchies easily succumb to these negative habits. The darkest of us are considered the worst off. The lighter ones in an apparently better position. I'm not just talking about beauty. That's old ass. There's more. It's character interpretation I'm talking about here.
Religious iconography and ideas linked with the darker shades on the spectrum are especially guilty of perpetuating notions that sit in people's subconscious minds. Informing the ways in which they choose to perceive others.
Taking the example of my family for instance. Deeply religious and mad about Jesus. There seems to exist a spirit of white worship and black hatred latent in discussions I observe. I can't help but think that the way in which the Bible narrates in terms of dark and light, beast and angel (mostly so in Revelations) has some impact on the way in which devoutly religious people view race. I see this in my family's insistence on the notion that I am apparently possessed by an evil spirit whenever I express my displeasure of an issue. Hmmm...I can't help but think that the fact that my skin is deeply dark gives them more reason to associate me with mystical, imaginary ideas such as demons. It is quite an insistence that over time I began to parody it in the former title of my blog. That my dark skin often seems to impress on people even those in my family that there is something diabolical about my character and motives. The more ignorant one is of the true nature of dark black people on an individualistic level, the easier it is for them to depend upon these generalizations. I say, Educate thyself. Black people are not exempt from this either. Even I have fallen prey to these patterns of thinking.
Natural disasters are always sad to see happen. But when nature wreaks havoc on a nation so impoverished as Haiti, it's even worse. All I can say is that my heart goes out to all those people that have lost their livelihoods. Can't even begin to imagine being in that situation. But it makes me so much more grateful for what I have. Really nothing to complain about when you witness this kind of tragedy.
"Time keeps on slipping, slipping into the future" sings Seal in his beautiful mid-tempo ballad 'Fly Like An Eagle'. So it does. Eleven days ago we entered a new decade. Now new announcements are being made with respect to the most well-known and popular of all SNS's - facebook:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/craig-kanalley/facebook-privacy-concerns_b_418031.html
No more privacy. That's it. We are steadily reaching what many a futuristic novel have predicted. Alongside the surrepticious surveillance of spy satellites, a social networking site that once took so much pride in maintaining a code of privacy for its users and attracted more as a result of this policy is bulldozing our carefully constructed virtual walls and leaving us bare, naked and exposed for all who have the interest to gape into the intricate workings of our personal lives. Yey! Even more reason to get all deceptive and fake like many a user on myspace. People sought facebook for the kind of transparency that would only be safe to reveal among those one knows from real world i.e vis-Ã -vis interactions. Now that all is open to whomever, it's right back to the type of guarded artificiality which emerges from the motivations caused by self-preservation. There really aren't that many absolutely nonchalant people out there. That will tolerate drunken pics on their profiles knowing that Seung Chi in Bangkok will have a giggle at pics of Gina and Casey from California taking part in some drunken exhibitionist snogging at a frat party. Or Themba in Durban smoking a blunt with his boys and his boss seeing this and then second guessing his presence at the company. Or worse, that creep from down the road who you catch staring at you on the subway manages to find your info on facebook and takes his stalking to another level. Dangers that we are all smart enough to identify unless you happen to be a money hungry CEO looking to increase revenue by opening up the site to companies hoping to get a piece of the facebook marketing pie. It's all about the money honey. But why let your integrity and good knowledge be subdued by greed? Lame question huh. One may never know until they get into the kind of wealth that this kid has accumulated. Power corrupts absolutely indeed.
This is why I am so hooked on and thankful for the SWPD blog . The posts are insightful, loaded with truth and universal. The same kind of racism exists almost everywhere. The two most recent posts which address the issue of the stereotype of the Strong and/or Angry Black Woman have brought me so much peace knowing that there are Black women out there who are experience what I do and have just about had enough of being treated in ways that suggest that we are not human like whites are. All I could really say after reading the following comments was "Finally, someone has said it!" And in such a concise, eloquent and dignified way.
For instance, when examining why no one chose to speak up against some of the ironically demonstrative comments toward Black women, Witchsistah notes:
This constant non-defending of BW comes directly from the stereotype of BW not being "real" women as in not being seen as delicate, feminine, worthy of care, affection and protection. We are seen as "mules uh duh worl'" and as rhino-hided, she-beasts utterly incapable of delicate, complex feelings or thoughts. Basically no one defends us because we can "take it." It also leads to the idea that BW cannot ever be harmed (from this comes the view that BW are un-rapeable).
So I'm just going to leave off with words by RVCBard, and then a few more by Witchsistah:
When Black women talk about their experiences as Black women here at SWPD, people (particularly White people, but at times other WoC as well), tend to respond with knee-jerk contradictions (typically betraying a lack of true engagement with the content) or remain silent.
For me, personally, it would be nice to see more comments make a more proactive attempt to engage with Black women in a more constructive way.
How about treating Black women as if we are, first of all, human? Yeah, it goes without saying, but from how we're treated, I'm not always sure people truly assume that from jump street. How about treating Black women like women and not disobedient children? Again, it goes without saying, but from what I've seen, I'm not sure if a lot of you really grasp that. How about treating Black women as though our lives are important to us? Once more, it goes without saying, but the things I've seen make me question whether you genuinely understand that.
IMO, there will be less explosive fireworks and fewer ruffled feathers if more people started showing us that they are operating from these very basic foundational concepts.
In the long run, we find black girls growing up knowing that the face they must present to the world is one of strength and resilience simply because in having nobody care, show remorse of compassion for their struggle they learn that feelings which display vulnerability are to be hidden. Because if you show them...well, nobody will give a shit. You are supposed to be strong. You are supposed to take anything. You are basically supposed to not operate as a human being with emotion does.
Then there is that Angry Black Woman stereotype which annoys me because while anger is a veritably human emotion (something we all experience at some point or another), when a Black woman shows this emotion, this fact is used as justification for the preconceived idea of the Angry Black Woman. You are immediately identified not as a person experiencing anger at that particular moment but are viewed as an angry person in general. Which again, nullifies the fact that you are simply human as everyone else is. If a white person were to express anger, they would not be labelled an angry person but one would only say that they are just angry at that certain moment. So, many Black women find themselves going out of their way to avoid expressing negative emotions due to the fact that any display of these will be used against them (to justify their instrinsic savagery) or will be given as a substantiation for any subsequent abuse the Black woman will face as a result i.e. "She deserved to be hit, she was talking out of her mouth."
Often any display of assertiveness is met with a comment about how much of an "attitude" you have. By not playing out your expected role of "servant", you are in violation and must be reminded of your place. The fact that you are not being submissive makes you a deviant i.e. a woman with a so-called "attitude". Again, denial of humanity. A Black women is not allowed to lay down boundaries and assert herself as whites have the privilege of doing without anyone questioning their choices.
Since many men come with the expectation that Black women are hypersexual (courtesy of rap videos), without saying Black women are expected to act lasciviously and without restraint. Failure to do this again usually ends in some form of insult. The sting of rejection from a Black woman is just too much. We are the ones who are supposed to be down with absolutely anything - the apparent "dregs of humanity". A rejection from one of us surely must be a diss.
Before reading these blog extracts today, the thought came to mind. The behaviours I have observed have often times surprised me. When I thought, "Is this person for real?" Why feel it okay to call me a "bitch" when you have no idea who I am? Or think that I would engage in intimate relations with you when I have no idea who the hell you are? It's failure to recognise the fact that people are individuals and not archetypes. In dismissing individulaity one will assume that they know a complete stranger quite well enough already and will treat them according to those very preconceived ideas borne out of ignorance.
I have heard men speak up about the same psychological process which takes place in their own growing years. When a boy is conditioned into false concepts of manhood, he is taught that it is unlike a man to show vulnerable emotions and act sensitively. This is "sissy" behaviour and mor derogatorily seen as something a "gayboy" would do. I don't think that this is good either. I have said before that I disagree heavily with socially-defined ideas on manhood. That Black women are made to undergo the same process of development can be seen as a masculinization of Black women.
Being a Black woman myself, I know exactly how this proces works. All too well. In encounters I have where people feel they can dump their hatred and anger on me without any kind of remorse for their actions, I identify an inablity on those individual's parts to see me as a person that could potentially take some injury from that level of abuse. I see it in those individuals who acted out verbally or physically because I chose, as I have a right to, to assert my own wishes. They expected obedience from me (again disregarding my humanity) and because I showed no interest in being their puppet, I deserved to be aimed at as a target for scorn or mistreatment. These are men I am talking about mind you. Childish - throwing toys when their wishes are not met. "From the nipple to the bottle never satisfied!"
Essentially, these people also believed in the notion of female servitude. So strongly in fact that it was a cause for concern when a woman did not obey them. CHAUVINISM. So again. When it comes to treatment of Black women - racism and sexism are inextricably linked. Everything I speak of here is my own explanation for what I have experienced. There may be alternative explanations but from the commonality of this kind of treatment as seen at SWPD, it certainly is no co-incidence to me.
According to this article about the song "She'a A B****" by Missy Elliot, the song aimed to somewhat parody the critics who labelled here with the derogatory term as well as empower herself by making light of the word and using it rather as a way of portraying her strong-will. But while she is portraying herself in this light, we must remember that she has other aspects of her that would express a vulnerability and humanity we all have. Missy has spoken about her history of severe emotional and sexual abuse. This affected her as it would anyone else. But she has overcome it and gone on to become arguably the best female rapper in history. An icon in her own right. Yeah, you've got to love her.
This week, the president of South Africa - Jacob Zuma - married his fifth wife Nompumelelo Ntuli in a traditional Zulu ceremony at his Nkandla homestead. Fifth, yes, fifth. Polygamy happens to be a legal sport in this nation I find myself residing in. It is absolutely fine, under our country's constitution, for a man to wed more than one woman and have each of these marriages lawfully recognised and registered under the Home Affairs database.
What protects these ludicrous ideas? Tradition. Long-standing tradition than modern pan-Africanists believe European imperialist powers have tried to remove in their attempt to control trade during colonial days. It's quite clear this side of the argument is merely a guise under which misogynistic ideals that substantiate this commodification of women are concealed. With this anti-colonialist stance, traditionalist South African men are hoping to protect their supposed male privilege which makes them feel they have the right to own women and engage in intimate relations with more than one woman at a time without the weight of being accused of adultery. Even more so, those in support of polygamy believe it is somewhat better for men to be given the right under law to have more than one wife than to revel in illicit affairs on the down low with their mistresses.
Progress is gender equality. Gender equality is the future as far as I am concerned. These kind of practices simply do not belong in the fabric modern society. They are primitive and demeaning. When the president of a country does nothing more than collect women in the manner one would collect prized posessions, how can problems such as wage gaps and violence against women be properly addressed. At the root of the patholgies that cause men to appropriate and disrespect female bodies is the notion that women are somehow inferior and should take their role as weak and powerless submissives in society. Which limits them from being taken seriously (as men are) in the workplace and in parliament. And also encourages men to beat their imperiously beat their wives up. Seek extra-maritial affairs without guilt or concern for the psychological implications this will have on the various members of the household. And simply treat women not as fellow human beings but rather as members of some sort of subhuman race of people that happen to exist alongside them and on who, ironically enough, they are intrinsically and desperately dependant for just about...everything in their lives including their very own existence on this mad planet. How funny.
This practice should not be legal. For a country that is struggling to reduce its HIV/AIDS infection rate, it is not only terribly embarrassing for the president to set the standard for female oppression and objectification for men in the country to happily follow, but also exacerbates the various problems underlying the spread of this disease. These problems, of course, have plenty to do with gender relations. Which I believe are deeply troubled and in need of fixing.
Until recently,(I'm ashamed to admit) I was beginning to think that I wasn't attractive enough to get a man. I was beginning to think that I was invisible to single men within my age group and with whom I share an educational background. I couldn't figure out what wrong with me.
Now I see things in a different light. First, if the women in this video don't have mates then something else must be afoot because they are all beautiful and accomplished. Second, I realize that maybe, deep down, I cherish my independence and freedom too much, to want to share with anyone. I like who I am with all my quirks and don't want to change. Why should I? Add to that, relationship people ( you the type who always speak in terms of "we") really annoy me. And married women who feel that the goal in life was to get a man marry them, just are not my type of people.
So, I am not alone in thinking this. For a while, it seemed that I was the only one within my circles who regards relationships as not-quite-necessary-for-my-survival. I understand that they are important. Yes, a bit of companionship is good for the psyche afterall. But is it so absolutely necessary that a person must take on a puzzled expression and then quiz you on the fact that you are not presently in a relationship. It seems as if there is some universal message we have all come to accept which says that there is something faulty about being single and that one's state of singlehood must be uncomfortable. In response to my singlehood, I have heard comments along the lines of "Why not?" or "How can that be?" And the most baffling one of all came from a married old man who claimed that he would have to "fix that"....eeeeew!!!!! Lol! And wondered what problem I would have with sharing a place with a boyfriend. You know what? They do not call this living in sin for no reason!! Again, this is something I just do not get. It's bad enough you would have to live with that person after getting married but to do so before...hey, maybe if you really do love someone you'd put up with the annoying habits.
No wonder so many people, women especially, overload themselves with panick at the thought of not being able to find the "perfect" mate before their biological clockc tick out.
I would like to say that I am in no mood for panick. Yes, I have ages to go before any such even occurs with regards to the plumbing downstairs. Even now, whilst most it appears are hopping between relationships - trying to look for the "right" one, they explain. I, for some reason, just could not be bothered at all. Besides the fact that a relationship may be a cause for unecessary stress (dealing with personality differences, psychological issues...what the hell do I know??), it just doesn't strike me as something that important. I might change my mind in future but right now, educating my black ass seems to take number one priority. And I know how older people like to advise us about how we should enjoy our youth while it lasts and we'll never look this good again. But surely there is more to life than mindless hedonism (sex, drugs and rock 'n roll). When that's all you consider as what comprises a "good time", then of course someone like me who finds alternatives will strike you as a bore, too serious or a person wasting away their youth on books and philosophy. But we are all essentially individuals at the end of the day - with our own little quirks. Often, depending on the person one finds themselves in a relationship with, these idiosyncracies are stamped out for the sake of "making a relationship work" and one cannot truly be themselves. Especially at my fragile age of 21 which is only the beginning of my journey through self-discovery, I cannot possibly define what I really want out a relationship. So, instead my focus lies in building a career because if I end up all on my lonesome in the long run, I need to have a way to put bread on my table and feed my invitro-babies. This will be a last resort however, single motherhood is a tough job. Last resort but still an option because you never know.
I want to live being able to fully normalise the concept of singlehood. It is fine. It is good even. How else does one find the time to engage in introspective thought - learning to understand their mind a little better. Marriage should not be what women look for to be "whole". One should find that "wholeness" and confidence in solitude first before joining together with another human in a serious relationship that could possibly last a lifetime. It's not a fairytale, it does happen. In fact, if you two are wise, resilient and compatible enough, it should happen.
As for inter-racial. I'm all for it baby. All the colours of the rainbow (the ethnic one that is).
One thing I did notice about this college some two and a bit years ago was the level of unconvention it strives to with regards to its admissions. There was nothing too austere or stern about it's approach the college application process and almost every instructional sentence on the web page sought to reduce any kind of pedantism. So I am not really all that surprised at the recent controversy stirring over an Early Decision 2010-11 applicant's essay which dove very superficially I might add into the world of erotic literature. By creating an analogy between human mating habits and the student's application process to the College, the student explained how UChi-Town will "satisfy" his "desire" for a specific kind of learning. You mean, they still got that essay topic running (yawn!). At least the boy spiced it up a little. Even if it did make for some cringe-worthy erotica. Who am I kidding. Any erotica is good erotica. Right?
"Dear University of Chicago, It fills me up with that gooey sap you feel late at night when I think about things that are really special to me about you,” the essay began. “Tell me, was I just one in a line of many? Was I just another supple ‘applicant’ to you, looking for a place to live, looking for someone to teach me the ways of the world?
Wrong. It's not even thaaaat raw you know what I mean. There is a hint at body fluids but nothing too explicit but since it is University we are dealing with here and the last thing parents need to think about is the sex that their "innocuos", "well-raised" young ones are going to be partaking in in any case, such talk is preposterous and absolutely worthy of complaint.
Oh, the sauciness of it. Keep it cumming Dean Nondorf (no pun...ehehe). Would T.O'Neill (toenail?) have had the audacity to post such an excerpt for public display and hold it up as the modus operandis for the relaxed and open tone expected of application essays? There's no telling. But thanks for the entertainment people. Much appreciate it.
Takes a lot of self-control when people such as this guy exist in the world. But boy oh boy is it funny...(in a very twisted kind of way).
Then there are a pile of other douches that one must live with. But I don't need to revisit that. It is afterall a NEW YEAR. 2010 has arrived. Much to be done. Much to be achieved.
