Ayeye: Bafana's In Trouble

It's not like they were never in trouble to begin with. Just the way they are - WEAK - is enough to tell you how vulnerable they are. So is the fact that since the Fifa group standings draw for 2010's cup tournament, South Africa has been matched up against giants. Bigg, uggly giants like Mehico who will, will thrash your unpracticing-properly-despite having-a-Brazillian coach behinds. First match by the way. On top of that, group a comprises the French and a powerful south american force known as Uruguay. Ha! Serving you correct host nation. Beat that...in your wildest reveries!

Charlize Theron, your red evening get up with the tiny black belt was underwhelming. David Beckham, you sexy, sexy...just take me now honey, we don't have time to waste...man standing there with an edgy haircut, grey suit and piercing stare looking like you might want to uh do a little something uh later, nah mean? You can never in wrong in my books. The rest of you, you're fine...you're alright with me. Especially you Mr Living Long Distance Running Legend Haile Sellasie. Keep on inspiring us to be better people. David, you inspire me to do other things. Boy, stop!

I Love Gabby Sidibe!

Last night I was privileged to catch the beautiful Ms Sidibe on David Letterman. She looked lovely and it's true, her personality is bubbly, lively and most importantly genuine. Mind you, the person I was sitting with at the time said something very insulting the moment Gabby showed up on the screen.

"WHAT IS THAT OBESITY ON THE SCREEN!"

I just filtered out that piece of rubbish comment and continued to enjoy my favourite actress at the moment talk about herself. Look, I heart her. She's beautiful to me and I couldn't care less what all you with your minds brainwashed by stupid Hollywood beauty standards have to say about that.

She's dark skinned and plus size. To use these factors to rule out a person's attractiveness is being insular and at the core, quite pathetic. You haven't decided things for yourself, you've been dictated to. Try some intellectal autonomy oh ye faithful groupthinkers.

As for the individual who made the above comment. Dissing is her forte even at inopportune moments. But it still reflects a very loathsome attitude that society adopts with regards to larger people. I've always believed that if one is happy, truly happy and secure with themselves then there is no justification under the sun to villify.

I want to see more of Gabby and women like her occupy major roles on the big screen. I know its wishful thinking. But hey. If Gabby is doing it, surely there is hope. Isn't there?

World AIDS day...oh my!

How easily you forget commemorative days during the holiday season. Thank you all bloggers that made sure to remind those of us forgetful about this essential day.
In my land, this problem is rampant. It doesn't seem to be alleviating either. It's an issue that clearly strikes far deeper than we imagine. Perhaps more should be done to address the aspect of moral values than anything else.

"For Your Entertainment"

Surrounded by controversy. Adam Lambert's long awaited album has been released and it sounds like a gigantic ball of glammed up fun. He's an artiste. A true one. I recognised it from day one.

http://www.lyricsreg.com/news/adam+lambert+for+your+entertainment/

How it Feels Like to Be 21

Alright. I'm kicking it. Just kicking it. 21 feels like liberation. It feels like finally having the license to perpetrate the way I always wanted to. It feels great, man. That's all I can say.

Gaga Disqualification

So, apparently Lady Gaga has been disqualified from the Best New Artist Category owed to the fact of her previous nomination. Oh, the grand bureaucracy. A call for dispute based on the prominence of her excessive bizarreness in video music, gigs, award shows and the like which have drawn so much attention worldwide, The Fame sold like hotcakes and became the most paid-attention-to piece of artistry this year.

But, rules are rules and it seems Ms Gaga will not be elligible.

This one made me laugh at some point. You know what, she's just so entertaining in her raw eccentric form. It's unpretentious madness and I love it.

To Die for Freedom of Speech

You know that a nation is corrupt when those whose job it is to deliver news reports to the public are slaughtered. For the sake of protecting one's own power. In this case. The mayor of Manguinadano in the Phillipines ordered 57 journalists killed. The same mayor who assisted their current president to garner votes. Politics in developing countries is rarely a system that works for the good of the people. But as always, for the good of leadership and those empowered by elitism and privilege. These individuals will stop at nothing to protect this.
Tragic.

We Receive Strange Objects from Outer Space Too

This is interesting.

A meteorite lit up the close to midnight sky for Witbank residents two or so days ago

I have not seen nearly as much coverage as I'd appreciate with respect to this story. Besides, it's a lot more effectual to our intellects to hear about the unusual interactions between stubborne objects from space dying to taste a little bit of our atmosphere than Malema and them doing uuuuh...nothing of any significance. I mean that.

A friend of mine reported to have been a witness to the events. Stating that he saw the sky light up bright white and some object which seemed to appear as a "shooting star too close" settled after speeding through the atmosphere very quickly. This was at around 23h00 on Saturday the 21st November.

Interesting, indeed.

Lambert's Debut at the AMA's

Well now. I must say, the performance was edgy. Covered my open mouth with the palms of my hands for a while after he rubbed that male dancer's face into his crotch. Hmmm. Adam. In fact, I think I heard a mixture of cheers and murmuring protests from the audience. I still think he's incredible though. I'm not about to launch into a homophobic rant because God knows, there is no logical reason to hate or condemn another person for the way they're living their life aside from the fact that you are a self-righteous bigot who needs to seriously consider keeping to your own lane because your lane-switching is annoying everybody. Well, those of us less prejudiced that is.

We've Got Pigs Too

Yesterday, I was taken aback by the lack of concern taken to the traumatic experience that racialicious' Fiqah endured at the hands of an officer. I was not able to watch Carte Blanche last night due to my family's deep obsession with Big Brother Africa 4, but I just read through the transcript and am horrified to say the least. Two unreported rape offenses by police officers here in South Africa . In the same month that a little boy was brutally murdered for no reason at all among others. Police brutality seems only to be escalating and not a single one of these officers despite the brutal and heinous nature of these offenses. Sad state of affairs. One does not know whether the police can be trusted to be called upon for safety. When they commit the same crimes as the men they arrest but are protected by their so called "badge of honour".

I can't help but try and find some relation between these events and the fact that South Africa has such a broken history. Living through apartheid South Africa left many blacks with a strong sense of futility and meaninglessness similar to what Du Bois posited about the problem of the black American underclass. I've seen this most potently displayed by black men of the lower class. I'm afraid to say that they are the demographic most expected to these commit offense both within their communities and beyond. Apartheid has left behind a frightening legacy of cold-spirited black men with a nihilistic killer mentality. Now that these same individuals occupy the police force and are given free roam with the illusion of safety and protection, they've simply taken to abusing their power for their own infantile gains. They feed their egos through the induction of unease. What these imbeciles don't see is that their actions benefit little in the long run. If South Africa gains a reputation for being a crime-rampant nation where police themselves exert the same kind of brutality that offenders do, not only will a massive brain drain begin to occur. Revenue from tourism will most easily be affected. Resulting in declining GDP. These utterly stupid, animalistic idiots are too dumb to see how their impulsive and foolish actions are causing or may lead to the overall decline of this nation's standard. What a useless goverment we have! What significant measures have they put in place?? What are they even doing aside from singing lame tribal songs and complaining about trivial matters.


So, it's true we've got pigs too. Only that ours are not a white male majority.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Homie

I don't want to hear about the law of attraction and ideas about "you teach people how to treat you" when it comes to this problem described through a terrible experience of harassment from a male po-po by Fiqah at racialicious

That he got away with this loathsome behaviour is reflective of power privilege afforded in this case to a law enforcer. Just last week we had incidents of police brutality here. So far, I've heard of no serious measures taken against the officers. There is a good chance they'll get of scott-free. How ironic it is that their main victims were a woman and a little child.

As a person I like to believe I radiate self-respect and hold my self in high esteem. In fact, I live by statements such as the one Alanis Morisette made, "I see my body as an instrument rather than an ornament." I carry this notion in the way I walk, dress and behave. This vessel is for doing, it is for action. Not for showing and for passivity. There will always be individuals that disrespect my presence and try to interfere with my existence by trying to get much too personal with me despite my being a complete stranger and showing on interest at that. Or worse still, invading my personal space or staring at me incessantly. These things happen. Even sporting baggy sweats and a T-shirt, it happens. (I always thought this would deflect unwarranted attention)

Must I excuse these imbeciles as just that and go on with my day. No, as always I see these as a reflection of ideas that the men in South African society hold of women. It's clear I live in a highly misogynistic society, a society that favours the idea of women as objects not women as people. It's a fact I've known since primary school when rape statistics were constantly aimed at us from all platforms of media. I remember Charlize Theron even ran an ad campaign about it. "People often ask me what the men are like in South Africa." she states. The answer obviously wasn't good which the commercials sought to expose. There is a definite sickness in this nation when it comes to the way people interact. Racially and most specifically in terms of gender. All South Africans seem to know of each other are the stereotypical notions they learned via talk and TV that ignorance is banal. Whites live in fear of blacks. Local blacks hate foreign blacks. Blacks think whites are racist haters. Coloureds strive to be white and refuse the "black" label that similarly mixed race people in America are never to afraid to adopt. Near-Eastern Asians well...they seem alright but whites and blacks seem to despise their small business sensibility. Don't know much about the Far-Eastern Asians though there's a good chance they may be exposed to the same amount of xenophobia that Nigerians are. It's one enormous racial gash that's been left over for post-apartheid South Africa to endure. With a president singing songs like "Umshini Wami", how is it going to heal.

The same goes for gender. A survey was conducted in June that revealed that 25% of males in S.A. are rapists. That's a remarkable figure. Since the world cup is coming around, these figures are under intense scrutiny. They scare people. Coupled with the AIDS statistics. It's just too much.

It seems that no measures are being taken to educate young men about the dangers of conforming to these false notions of "masculinity". Something needs to be done but nothing is.

It seems the more insecure a man in his knowledge of how "masculine" he is, the more strongly he tries to exert machismo. Studying the majority of individuals that take part in hollering practices. They appear similar in that they are low-income, of African descent and male of course. Social conditioning in most cases teaches men that money and status (as well as the ability to be a "provider") are symbols of manhood. When these are not attained, one is therefore not fully a man. So, masculinity, they perhaps feel must be redeemed in other ways. These are often in relation to women. In making sexual advances, they engage in the act of being masculine; which turns a rejection on the woman's part into an assault on this assumption of manhood.

In my experience, the non-black males that tried to assert themselves to me in this way were defected in ways that were not money or status related but rather in relation to appearance. The popularly accepted notion of masculinity is one of being tall, muscular, strong, broad shoulders, a pronounced jawline etc. Often, when men are aware of their inability to meet these standards is a cause to try and over compensate similar to the description above. I do not believe that a man comfortable in his own skin will need to objectify, attempt to humiliate, harass, grope or disregard physical boundaries. I don't think that anyone with enough intelligence'll treat a fellow human so.

An old but pertinent post in relation to redefining our presently accepted notion of "manhood" at Shakesville puts it all into perspective - how important it is to give young men an alternative form of expression that does not involve misogyny and homophobia.

Some Kind of Nepotism Going On

Wow, wow, wow. After seeing Henry give that ball a little tap, tap, I thought Fifa would order a rematch immediately. But according to Law 5 of the Fifa Rule Book. In every instance, the referee's decision is final after the match has terminated. So...
Sorry Ireland, it seems no matter what sensibility of injustice takes place, the French run tings when it comes to Fifa. Sept and his boys outruled over any morsel of conscience by ensuring that their side get a chance to reclaim their fallen glory.
It's what it has been all about since they won. Conquer and conquer once more. Yet will it be possible to reaffirm why they are the '98 World Champions. Are the French going to bring fire to South Africa next year? Time will tell. But really, Henry should be ASHAMED! What a remorseless creature.

Scapegoating Faith for the Economic Crash

Watching Larry King interview TD Jakes this morning. Whoah now. Why do I get the sense that King is bitter about something. Religion. Aside from saying that Jakes is "selling God" and "preaching prosperity." Religious cynics are usually inclined to point fingers at churches and faith-based organisations as poised to do good in the lives of others but surrepticiously out to enhance their own selves financially. In fact, a writer in Atlantic magazine posited that Christianity in America could possibly have caused the economic downturn here:
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200912/rosin-prosperity-gospel

This is such an ambitious thesis. One has to ask, if you are to say that this is the sold reason then that means that the majority population in the US is devout and Christian which I beg to differ. I don't want to allude to stats either because there are plenty even here in South Africa that claim to be Christian or faith-following but barely practice what is expected of that label.

From what I've seen and understood of the crash, is that a sense of greed and want. Constant desire for things driven by the brutal yet subtle coercion of the capitalist regime played a significant role in raising up individual debt on Main Street whilst banks fooled themselves into thinking they could get away with handing out mortgages without proper thought and that this in turn would have no effect on the nation's balance sheet. They wanted their commission because they wanted that vacation to Venezuela in the summer, they wanted that yacht, they wanted that bigger home, that Chrysler, that diamond wristwatch, those designer purses. Greed. Want. Working on the impulse to show others how well they are doing even if it meant they would have to sacrifice their morals, sleep and peace. Look where it's gotten everyone. This should be a lesson not an opportunity to scapegoat.

To that, these so called prosperity messages do not appear to me a way of assuring people of financial wealth as provided by a divine power. It only encourages a less negative approach to take in looking upon a crisis. It avoids fatalism and that doomsday mood that many seen to attain at times such as these to keep people's heads up. One can even say that they are forms of motivational talk rather than a proselytizing of magical provision. It seems to reinforce this notion that religion disconnects one from reality to the point that they forget basic concepts of living such as that which implies hard world and focus, persistence and dedication are likely to bring forth prosperity rather than simply praying and hoping for a better day.

On the "Torture" of Invisibility

This is an excerpt from Toni Morrison's latest offering, A Mercy, which had me standing up and saying "AMEN". I get like that when I come across a moment of commonality between my and the author's expression of a certain issue. It happens often and this is perhaps why reading is one of the most pleasurable things in life. It makes me know that beside the barriers that place us up against one another, there are aspects very very similar about each one of our experiences and this is not revealed more lucidly than through literature. I believe.

"But then Job was a man. Invisibility was intolerable to men. What complaint would a female Job dare to put forth? And if, having done so, and He deigned to remind her of how weak and ignorant she was, where was the news in that? What shocked Job into humility and renewed fidelity was the message a female Job would have known and heard everu minute of her life."

My immediate response to this was:

What those of us observant enough to witness and acknowledge will see is how much alike men and children are. Yet it seems that in an attempt to forge an antithesis to this truth, the myth of the emotionally discordant "babygirl" was forged. That somehow, it is the other way around and therefore it is necessary to monitor and infantilize the ones who held the original power. The keepers of life, the passers-down of the gene. And in spite of all this, complaints are few and far between - the humiliation is this cliche. Yet if the men who want dominion so hungrily were to experience firsthand the treatment women themselves have been accustomed to, what frustration. Each and every time. They throw their toys out of the cot like the infants they truly are and complain about the pain and suffering that we women know too well already.

In all my days of being made invisible by those who for on reason other that to express megalomania and insecurity, I have taught myself steadily to adapt to the weather. Same too of being viewed as a thing of ornamental rather than human worth. Of by default appreciated as ignorant, foolish and uncultured. Of depending wholeheartedly on external validation for my self-worth and them having to deal with some juvenile wrath owed to my dismissiveness (an obvious repurcussion). Of being spoken of in my very own presence as if I were a mere pedigree perched in some corner of the room flapping my tongue. All this to have to endure yet if I choose to make you invisible in my mind's eye, petition against you attempting to "privilege" me by granting me attention or worse yet begin to elevate my status in the heirarchy and strengthen my powers against yours then, then your "entitlement" must act. For it is unacceptable, you believe, that nobody is not to bear witness to you and yours and that a woman achieves higher playing rank. All because you are a man and the world around you has groomed you with the notion that you deserve, you deserve, you deserve. Therefore to be seen not as I have been on more occasions than I can even recall and you could not possibly fathom is quite simply and justly on intolerable hell to you. It is true what Soyinke once said, "Men are just like children. They really cannot bear much pain."

 Note: I may be making harsh generalizations, this is not a sign of hatred - I am just playing observer. That's all. 

Video Phone featuring Lady Gaga

Okay, I am neither excited nor roused into hysterics after seeing this. It's quintessential Beyonce with a brand new weapon - Lady Gaga. It's really nothing new here. In fact, right away it is clear that Hype Williams is the director. We've seen similar products from him namely the "Check on It" video and the "Gold Digger" and "Digital Girl" videos both similar in nature. Now the same oversexed, video vixen image is used this time with leading artist and guest star instead.

I am left disappointed. It's not all that creative. A mere repetition of old styles of choreography and filming. It's getting a tad bit boring. When things become redundant, some of the more observant ones lose interest. After this, highly unimaginative effort, I am starting to lose interest in Lady Gaga, the same way I lost it long ago with repetitive Beyonce and her crew of formulaic design and image team members.

All I'm saying is that for a song so nuanced with such a brilliant instrumental from Shondra "Mr Bangladesh" Crawford, they could have and should have taken this video to the extreme. Blow people's minds. Instead they chose to re-work vintage Beyonce and take on a tired-of-thinking-up-fresh-ideas-like-I-did-in-the-late-nineties Hype Williams to do the same old same old and bore us once more.

Well, on the bright side of things - at least the video is not in black and white!

Beyoncé - New Music - More Music Videos

Pre-viewing Review Of "Precious"

A certain journalist working for the New York Press has come to plenty of people's attention by offering an utterly scathing and critical review about "Precious". Courtesy of the blogs I follow (to the right) that made mention of this review, I got a chance to read what he had to say here: www.nypress.com/article-20554-pride-precious.html

I have not seen the movie. It's not been released in my region but I am interested of course as I have been for several months now. So there is no stance assumable on my part but I will say that it's box office performance so far is severely impressive. This fact alone may be used by sceptics as a way to evince the Western fascination with black suffering. That a movie about African Americans is only capable of doing this well when it involves the harsh realities of life for those slugging through poverty, physical and sexual abuse, teenage pregnancy and illiteracy as the lead character Precious does. I've pointed this out before. It is banal for whites to play leads in most of the movies that get this much attention. But very rarely do we see a woman of colour get the opportunity and if she does then it is in the most negative light possible. I can see how some may take this strand and use it as a way to denomize the movie. That it only seeks to galvanise the popular view of the black woman as the abused, misused person who needs saving (usually from those with lighter skin as it portrayed in "Precious") from a life destined for doom because of these pathological wounds.

I don't want to dwell to hard on this notion. We know movies perform a tremendous deal of damage in the archetypal images they create. So I will say this instead. As an antithesis to White's criticism of Oprah and Perry. Knowing what I know of the horrendous abuse that there two incredible individuals have encountered, I believe their support for this film emanated from a sincere place within themselves that believes stories such as these need to be told. We need to be reminded through film that the world is rife with stories of this nature and to carry on ignoring them is insensitive and somewhat inhumane. That wehave a movie that explores so deeply the psyche of a woman of colour and affords her a voice so raw, truthful and in-your-face means despite the negative aspects of her life that we can see a level of humanity to a people whose dignity and humanness are often ignored by mainstream society. This is not a representation of African American life. Whoever resorts to that thinking simply lacks rationale. But perhaps there are people who are that ignorant. I can't rule that out.

In all honesty, I am always pleased to hear the suppressed voices in society find a platform. No matter how painful there stories may be and how difficult they are to digest, they need to be told and we need to hear them.

50's Imminent Self-Demise Quite Intriguing

Okay, I'm often cynical when it comes to this man. But after hearing the first release off of his brand new album, I'll say I'm starting to recapture the interest I had in him the moment I first heard "In the Club" six years ago. This song is ill - "Baby By Me" featuring Ne-Yo with Kelly Rowland making an acting appearance in the video. I'm liking this jam alot. Catchy lines and a tight beat.

I Did A Relaxer on My Own!

The result was far better than any relax that I've had done at a professional salon. Why? BECAUSE I FOLLOWED THE INSTRUCTIONS! Reading through the dos and don'ts section on the Organic Root Stimulator Pack made me realise why I'd always come home with some burn or other on my scalp after a relax.

1. Not mixing in the activator thoroughly enough makes a faulty mixture likely to scald you

2. Combing the hair while cream is intact

3. Not timing the relax with a timer and just thumbsucking a relax time

4. Placing relaxer on the hairline first - the most sensitive part of everyone's scalp

5. Placing cream directly onto scalp and relaxing previously processed hair instead of new growth only

These are common mistakes yet the major causes of hair loss and breakage. Doing it myself, adhering to all the instructions. I came out without a single burn and relaxed hair.

Easy. So much cheaper. I will not get into the political debate on black hair straightening. I'll leave that to Chris Rock. I do it because it makes life simpler. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Shoot to Kill Someone's Little Baby

A day after the Chief Commissioner Cele of the South African police department, a three year old boy Atlehang Aphane is shot dead. Being mistakenly identified as an offender. All because he stuck a pipe, which was perceived as a gun, through the car window in which he was seated.

Read the full story here: www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/nov/10/south-africa-police-kill-boy

Trigger happy cops not using discretion and logic. Is that really the solution to the crime epidemic in South Africa? Government must seriously reevaluate its approach toward this issue. I hope that this incident among others will spark debate about this so called "shoot to kill" issue. I get the feeling some unthinking officers will use this an a means to vent their suppressed urges to use a gun on assignment and this might very well occur again if intervention does not take place.

The majority of this country's problem lies in government. There is a trickle down of notions encouraging megalomania and using extreme force in the quest for power. If the police do not have the public's best interests at heart and a bevy of sociopathic killers on the loose, what kind of a country can we have that promotes healthy and safe tourism especially as the Fifa World Cup is scheduled for mid 2010. Is South Africa with all its hatred ready to host such a far reaching and important event for the world?

As for idiot Malema who seems to believe his life is under threat and needs the country's taxpayers' money to fund his bodyguards. Who does he think he is, Obama? This is what I mean when I talk about power-hunger. These apparent leaders do not have the people's interests at heart. All they are really bothered about is creating the illusion of power for themselves. After hearing the above accounts, it's clear that the we need more money pumped into our safety than politicians. It's unpleasant to think that simply standing outside of your home tying your laces, taking a drive while off from work or being a little innocent child playing witha pipe in the backseat of a car will get you killed...by the police. History repeats itself doesn't it. Only that the brutality is not white Afrikaaner but Nguni and very much black.

I was reminded of the killing of immigrant, Amadou Dialo who was shot 42 times after attempting to remove the wallet from his pocket whilst the officers believed he was armed and dangerous. More senseless killings.

All For The Love for the L.O.V.E.

 Just checked out the 'This is It' flick and it was amazing. Or would have been amazing. Not much of a sentimentalist but jerked out some tears watching the 'Human Nature' section. The movie just highlighted even more strongly why his death was such a tragedy - this show would've been simply amazing but...
Thoroughly enjoyable. Especially hearing all the quirky rehearsal dialogue. I saw so much more of his conversational personality than I've seen in any of his interviews. He was just a plain old eccentric with plenty of humour. What more would you expect from an artist, I mean a genuine artist such as MJ himself.
A master performer at his peak, his music lives on. Doing it all for the L.O.V.E.

Look At Me Dammit

If there is anything profound about what I have observed within the realms of human psychology is that being ignored hurts a person's sense of self enormously. Rejection. We've all had to face it. From the smallest scale to the most painful - when a loved one disregards you. Today I witnessed a very interesting display of rage from a person hurt about a perceived rejection and belittling. It's not the first time and it's wonderful to see that in people of both genders, all ages across the colour spectrum cannot stand not being noticed. It's as if we all have this instinct which drives this desire to be seen and heard and know that your voice is acknowledged by the group. Could this be evolutionary? This desire? Maybe so. If you weren't part of a group back in the day, you'd be left alone to salvage for yourself in presence of wild animals, harsh weather and solitude. Nobody wanted to be a loner of a caveman or woman. I'm just assuming of course. But this could be a plausible explanation. I'll do some reading into this.

This is a modern age and more than ever, there's been a significant emergence of hermits. I'm one myself. Not that I'm misanthropic. I down with humans but solitude is a conducive environment for certain activities that just require silence and not the presence of other people. Yet I've had people take this personally. Rejection? Seriously, how sensitive can you get. You have those phrases that so many like to toss around such as "No man is an island" - well I'm not ruling out the possibilities of human contact when I decide to go off and work on a novel or revise course material. Yes people are necessary but sometimes you have to go it alone. One can't be 100% dependent on company all the time. Einstein made a lovely comment about this. I'll paraphrase. When one is immature solitude is unbearable but "delightful" when one is mature. I feel that but not everyone does. So while these peeps are standing outside of my fortress walls trying to launch canonballs and yelling and screaming about my eremetic lifestyle choices, I'l be chilling in my castle enjoying the peace of mind and splendid silence through which ideas are birthed.

Obama Wins the Nobel Prize

All I can say is that I am so very proud to be alive to see this is is motion. The very first president of colour is awarded the Nobel Prize. The fourth time such an award has been given to a US president. As if he needs any more reason to go down in the history books.

Rightly given. Aside from all the brainless remarks about him being racist, critique about his approach with the Health Care Reformation program. His election united a whole nation and inspired the world to look toward embracing "change" and growth. This is so reminiscent of Nelson Mandela's election aided by FW de Klerk's step down in 1994.

Bitter and Big-Bodied: who are you listening to?

Women really put each other through hell. When a woman has a problem with the way she looks, she may have a tendency to attack another woman through gossip, vindictive words and insults. I'm tired of having to withstand lame and unwarranted remarks, hostility and rudeness from other women when all I've ever done is address them with respect. Of course when a person's nasty side is revealed it becomes hard to be amiable. So the mode of conduct changes. That doesn't mean the person you insulted is the 'skinny bitch' you always suspected she was, it means that you need to stop projecting your body insecurity onto other people and focus on improving your life. It's always the same superficial nonsense about looks. I think of my own life and how some notice the tiniest fluctuations in my weight and make open remarks about it. With glee they'll say "Ha, you've gained some weight I see." I'll just smile dismissively and walk on. Who gives a damn? I swear they perceive me as a mannequin sometimes. I've heard people comment about my body size in my presence while I'm right there just rambling on with incredible stupidity. It's bizarre this obsession women especially have when it comes to comparing their bodies with those of other women. Thin women often bear the brunt of big girl's bitter emotions at struggling with weight issues. I'm not even that thin. I couldn't care less whether I am the "right" size. My emphasis is on health not how good I look to men. I mean what? Why live for male approval? I have different aims. Yet I'm villified often as a way of trying to put me down by telling me I'm not a proper anyway because I don't seek attention from men or act in a way that is gender conforming. It's as if I have insecurities that don't belong to me projected and in putting a thinner woman down, one who is not happy with their size can feel better about herself.

Don't get me wrong. I have a thick skin but being human, I guess I have enough of it sometimes. Enough of awful words from people who don't know me but assume life is rosy because I an a thin young woman. Why does this myth exist? That life is sufficiently easier for a woman when she is thin. This is not true. It's not easier or worse. It's all relative to circumstance not body size. Even in the dating arena. It's not any easier trying to find someone if you're skinny. I've been living the life of a hermit for so long. You can't tell me being thin helps you find someone. In thinking that you can insult a person and expect that it is okay because they are thin is a fallacy. It's just ridiculous. In trying to level themselves against other women thinking that they big size makes them less superior, these women only end up creating animosity and what does that help. This is exactly why I don't conform to western society's ideas about female behaviour and appearance. It's the strife and complication trying to fulfill these standards brings. Here I am getting regularly dissed by big girls that have a hard time accepting themselves for who they are because fashion mags keep talking diet fads and praising the skinny look. The annoying thing about it. I have fucking noting to do with it. I just happen to be thin myself. It's all just a great big circus I tell you.

Entitlement, Ownership and Boundaries

I just finished reading the blog entry at swpd by writer Los Angelista about her encounter with a white woman who got angry and revealed her racism after a request to touch her hair was turned down. Like many of the commenters I've had such an experience. With me however as is usually the case, the person didn't ask. They just went ahead and touched it. Funny enough it was the same hair I had on at the time. In both cases I pulled away before the gesture was perceived as welcome. The people were involved also like the white woman in the above account expressed disdain at my withdrawal. What's wrong with touching someone's hair when this is prohibited. Everything. How dare someone come out of nowhere and feel entitled to try to touch another's hair without even asking? I see it was racism because hey presto, the dummies were both white. If you recognised a common humanity with someone else you would treat them in a manner you yourself would like to be treated. Respectfully and with the correct decency and dignity.

I try to put myself in their position. If I were a person who has been told all my life that I am superior. That I am entitled to do as I please as those who share my ethnicity often do and consequently get away with. Wouldn't I feel it alright to approach a complete stranger, a person of colour who I know nothing of aside from the fact that they happen to be in my immediate vicinity and touch their hair without any permission given on their part. What stupidity! There is nothing harmless about this. Yes touching a person period is an intimate act. To try to reach a level of non-consensual emotional intimacy with a stranger who does not welcome your advances is harassing.

I rarely personalise these events. There people's perceptions are quite obviously jaded by their cloak of white privilege. I maintain my dignity and use these as noted results from experiments in social study. It's the stance I take in order to survive. They like to treat me as their objects why not use them as my own guinea pigs upon which observations can be made. Haha. If I had to dwell on all the things that racists articulate and gesture toward me daily. Here on the African continent even. Probably worse because they picture themselves as beacons of civilisation against the backdrop of a black "savage" population. Yet it is the racism itself that is savage and heinous. I witness acts of sheer hilarity. The ignorant white person's condition of believing that he can do all he or she wants is something I'll never truly fathom in my mind. I just can't. I'm not being self-righteous but what does it really take to get to the point where you on longer see another human as human. What they are. Simply what they are. Equal and human as you are.

Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy

All I could muster in my mind after hearing former US President Jimmy Carter's opinion about the Health Care Plan fallout is "thank you, someone has finally said it". That it is not a person of colour so he will not be called out on racial anxiety as white people often say we do. Jokes have always been made of this. I remember a string of "it's because i'm black" commercials (can't remember which product was being endorsed) where the black person was taken the mickey out of for "seeing" racism even where it may not exist. There are a pile of anonymous commenters at Macon D's stuff white people do blog who make there similar remarks. It's a quintessential case of denial and it just doesn't help. Dr Robin Smith often makes the analogy of "putting a plaster over a tumor" and them hoping it will in away with respect to psychological wounds. Unless the cancer is treated accordingly, it's not going to heal. That's what nations such as the Uganda, Rwanda, Liberia, USA, South Africa need. Healing. Healing which may only emerge from open discussion about issues of race and not juvenile insults and rants toward the nation's leaders and their plans to make the nation better for all.

I'm of the notion that one who tries to deny racism or avert speaking of it is just as worse as the racist himself. When a person is not critically aware of the world around them, they are easily prone to absorbing ideas about race and gender that the majority upholds. In the US, it is the white capitalist male-dominant ideology that reigns supreme and if you couldn't be bothered to apply proper critique. You might end ur riding along the wave and standing firm for belief systems that have reinforced social division and not facilitated fair treatment of all human beings as equals.

More Tempers Flaring

What a month it's been. Americans losing their minds left right and centre. People, what's up? Is the recession having this effect on you? Lunacy. Let's being with the twat I've always known to be narcissistic. To those in the know, Kanye's disrupted many an award show and spilled many an obtuse statement publicly. So now, a big deal because it the victim of his unthinking conduct is a innocuous teenage country songstress. He seems always on a mission to grab attention and he'll get it any way he can. That's the sadness of it. He fails to look beyond his intentions to examine the likely repurcussions of his actions. I agree with the Diary of an Anxious Black Woman blog writer, this act contained traces of sexism and misogyny. Better you steal a woman's limelight and attempt to speak on behalf of another woman as if she has on voice of her own. Defamatory.


In relation to the US president's comment which no one would have otherwise heard of had it not been for in insolent journalist who knows not his boundaries. He's right, and it's good to know the president is not alienated from the pop culture of the nation he's leading. Hopeless minded individuals may think that they are privy to every detail of the President's private conversations. How so? Are they telepathic? What part of "leaked audio" do they fail to understand. Part of a President's job is to remain diplomatic and cool in the face of heat. Who knows what he could have been thinking standing on that podium glancing at ignoramus Wilson after that lame comment. Easily have been cursing him out in his mind but dare he say it knowing his position.

As for Kanye's Mtv stunt. The bully explanation is worth considering. Would he have stepped up to Slim Shady in the hip hop category? If so we would have witnessed an onstage brawl and not a passive acquiescence the likes of Taylor. She is resilient. Give her credit for that. The twitter republic is more offended than she is. What does that say of how much of a role the public makes in blowing an event to an disproportionate size?

Faithful Proteges of La Grace: or not?

From the beginning it was clear that Lady Gaga was somewhat of a modern-day blonde version of the iconic Grace Jones. The pantless outfits, the outrageous designs courtesy of 'Haus of Gaga' and the sexually uninhibited nature of the Konvict music artist known as Lady Gaga. She caught my attention from the start and although her songs may be repetitive, weak and lacking in real substance she is exciting and fresh - a


I am a huge Grace Jones fan but I have an objection to those that just outright emulate her without adding a touch of their own individuality. Yes, Rihanna I'm talking to you. Showing up at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week this year dressed the exact same way Grace Jones was last year at the same event may I add. What copycat-ism.
Black Snob posted some images from the Couture Supplement of Vogue Italia a while back. It was then we came full circle to realising who she really and truly is inspired by.
However, the comparisons are ill-placed. Ri-ri may be able to dress and make herself up as La Jones but will she ever acquire that Hurricane-like ferocity that she commanded in her music and videos. She's not convincing me. No, Madame. You need to tighten up on the eccentric maneuvers and try acting a little less cute.

The Final Straw

Her actions are "indefensible" says John Macenroe about Serena's outburst at this year's US Open semifinal. It was suprising to see her acting that way. I'd never imagined Serena to have such a violent nature but knowing what it's like to be on the receiving end of racism, I can somewhat empathise. The Williams have had to put up with racism from tennis crowds to umpires favouring white opponents over Venus and Serena. Maybe that lineswoman who made the foot fault call was in Serena's eyes lobbying for Clijsters to take it and not making warranted calls. So Serena became irate. In doing so, she provoked the cowardly woman to run to the umpire with her tail between her legs to file a complaint of disorderly conduct - racket smash. This is what caused the point penalty that made her lose. Well, well, well.

As an afterthought, I wonder if the person having that outburst were white, the Asian lineswoman would have reacted in a similar fashion. Black people are often perceived in a negative light even with accordance to the mildest forms of fervour and irritation. Bigots often associate black people with negatively abstract ideas. For instance, an assertive black person is either angry or bitter. But a white who displays assertiveness is viewed as a symbol of strength and power - a dominating force who is most likely to succeed in life for owning these very qualities. A double standard brought about by white privilege.

More to Love

Mika sang it well - "Big girls, you are beautiful". It's wonderful to see such a strong emergence of non-skinny women on the entertainment scene. The standards must erode away until they're gone. Not every woman out there is super-thin. Big girls usually have the most powerful voices anyway.



Gabourey Sidibe who acts in the movie Precious. The movie has not come out yet so can't say much but I'm anxious to see it.



Beth Ditto, lead singer of the group gossip who's impressed everyone with her unique vocals. What a diva.

Joe Wilson the Ignoramus

Wow, Nancy Pelosi's face said it all. She took a double look and creased her eyebrows in bemusement. What was Joe Wilson thinking shouting "You lie" to the President after making a statement about illegals not being included in the new Health Care program. What kind of sense of entitlement causes a person to yell out something that profane during a President's address. White Republicans and Conservatives are really having a hard time eating their humble pie and just accepting the President of the US for who he is. Not just another black man who they're so used to looking down upon and infantilizing but the most important and powerful man in the land.

Shame on them!

Caster's Verdict-Intersex

So the truth is out. While most were on the "She's a man" bandwagon. There were some less exaggerative ones speculating that she has a biologically androgynous nature. So what are they going to do about her career now? This case may raise some questions about how to classify hermaphroditic individuals in sports. Those who fall outside of the gender binary have always been shunned and pushed to the margins of society. Perhaps stories such as that of Caster Semenya will force the world to rethink the way it approaches gender issues within sporting tournaments.
As for the 'YOU' magazine spread. It appears to me as a desperate last ditch effort to prove to everyone that she is just a regular 18 year old woman.

The Black Snob referred to YOU as a "tabloid" magazine. Haha. Props to Danielle's sense of humour. Never thought of it that way. Just one of those long standing locally produced cheap mag with creepy articles sometimes. Come to think of it, it's a kind of paper mix of gossip, local stories, fashion articles for teens, cartoons, a short story, a TV guide, a centrefold porter, more articles. It's loaded with things . That anyone would find it necessary to buy regularly is beyond me.

District 9: Finally Seen It

Two days ago, I satisfied my curiosity and went ahead to check it out. Funny incident. A man resembling JM Coetzee became impatient whilst waiting in the ticket queue about 30 minutes before the movie was scheduled to begin because there was only one till operating. He angrily tried to nudge me forward, it was ridiculous. I was the only one in front of him and the line was short. Patience is something so many must make a habit. Since I love watching people get mad in public, it was really hilarious.

So let's get to the movie. It's really on surprise to me that it turned out the way it did. Hollywood can't help but revert to stereotypes in relation to people of colour. Once again, the main protagonist is white. We are forced to view people of colour, in this case Nigerians, as somewhat subhuman or a deviation from normality. We perceive the story through an intrinsically white lens and thus empathise with the protagonist and his life. So I can certainly agree now that I've seen it with the critiques made at racialicious. It may not be an allegorical reference to apartheid entirely but it did deal wad of offensive racial stereotypes. My question is was the Nigerian aspect really needed. What part did it play within the main plot other than that of attempting to provide comical relief in somewhat of a heavy movie. In that case, it seems Neil Blomkamp and his people found it quite appropriate to 'bamboozle' these caricatured characters. Typical Hollywood style.

As far as the movie being an apartheid allegory, I beg to differ. If the prawns are somewhat of a representation of blacks during the time of National Party rule, why is it that they come from a different planet. Remember who the original inhabitants were. This movie does not come across as allegorical. It was a worthy attempt at science fiction within an incongruous context. But some aspects of it were just plain egregious. Either way, I'm glad to see more blockbuster-scale movies being shot on the continent. Let's just hope the writers and directors will attempt to do a wiser job at portraying characters in a less prejudiced and more progressive light.

When the World Debates Your Gender

What a firestorm Miss Semenya has caused. Ever since, she siezed the gold medal for the 800m women's at the IAAF Champs, she's been at the centre of this totally ridiculous controversy concerning her gender.

It's funny to me. When I saw her running, it did not even occur to me that her gender is somewhat unclear. I saw a young woman running exceptionally well and clobbering her competitors. As it turned out, the French and Russian runners that she beat were upset about the astounding way she won the race and went on a mission to create some speculation.

She's been treated to a hero's welcome here - OR Tambo Airport was populated with hundreds of newfound fans congratulating her first-time performance at the tournament.
But it's the questions that baffle me. She's muscular yes, she's strong and athletic in physique like most other athletes yet there still remains a big question mark as to what side of the population she should be classified under and it's kind of tragic.

I know she's a woman. You can see it on her face. She may not conform to the popular standard of beauty that society seems to dictate. Her hair is not long, her body is not soft, her breasts are not full and she does not wear her hair long. That's exactly why she's been given so much scrutiny. I really don't think they would have bothered had she been more feminine in the way she appears.

I've even heard some say that she must change her ways and learn female etiquette. Once again, it comes down to the gender-binary and the pressure it puts on androgynes to fit the norm. I wrote a post about gender-role transcendence before and this is certainly something to consider here. We're a long way away from a world where gender is hardly an issue in the way people are judged.

On the other hand, I would agree with those that accuse those that alleged against her of racism. Would they have bothered to bring this up if she had not placed first and simply won silver or bronze or nothing at all? No, they would not have given a damn and that goes to show that whites still have a problem with people of colour dominating sport. Venus and Serena have had to face up to the same challenges and evne worse for them playing in a sport which is white-dominated.

News:IOL

Claims of racism were made against "white media" and the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) by politicians and Athletics South Africa (ASA) president Leonard Chuene these past two days, but Sam said Semenya formed part of their strategy for London and would remain so unless an investigation into Semenya's gender by the IAAF proved otherwise.

The bloggers at racialicious made some pertinent comments about the whole charade and I could certainly agree with most of what is being said by the media defending Semenya's privacy. This case should have been handled in a confidential manner but it's leaked. Can you imagine having the whole world debate on whether or not you really are what you claim to be? I certainly can't.

Long Silence

J Randy Taraborrelli's 620 page biography on the late Michael has kept me busy for a while. Was a fanatic of course, it was necessary to undertake this venture and glad I did. A bevy of new information earned and my oh my how entertaining. He was a character. Don't need to say that but this book is privy to knowledge even some hardcore fans may not have known. So, officially over it but the full musical collection must still be owned so not entirely achieved closure.

Between dodging annoying people without assuming the battlefield stance and laughing at simpletons parading the TV screen on "reality" shows. I've managed to gain momentum in fueling ideas for a literary project. This is all very personal and never write full posts this way but funny as it may seem. I don't have much else to say. How apathetic of me. Well. That's a wrap for now. Keep it locked.

Compassion for the Plight of the "other"

Is perhaps one of the most incredible triumphs of human character to note. We don't realise it but recognising the humanity in those that are not like us is a challenge. Especially in a world that is so bent on forming divisions instead of breaking them through empathy and understanding.

These thoughts emanate from an article in the Saturday Star Canvas by Janet Smith. This month we celebrate women's lib or what we have of it. Though much needs to be done to obtain full equality, great strides have already been made. In comparison to women that lived half a century ago, we have many more opportunities to grow and progress as humans and not simply women. Ideas surrounding gender roles are much less rigid. Women can more or less do anything they want to. For that, it is a privilege to be a woman in the 21st century.

But it is a woman's location that makes all the difference. Muslim states in Africa and Asia still practice brutal genital mutilations. A clear act of pure unadultered misogyny which is accompanied by a myriad of other heinous acts.
I began this post with some talk about empathy. A recent movie which has struck plenty of controversy mainly owed to a scene in which a woman mutilates herself 'Antichrist' has left me wondering. The European public is so up in arms about this scene which is part of a movie and thus not real but less troubled by the reality of the many thousands of mutilations that take place. It serves to speak of how empathy breaks down almost immediately at the ethnic barrier. The West is somewhat indifferent to the suffering of those is less developed regions of the world because of this business of seeing only the "other" and not a fellow human being similar in a number of ways.
Otherization is something we have probably all been guilty of. Recognising that common humanity that binds us is one way forward toward a post-racial and post-sexist society and world.

History Making: Empowerment and Inspiration to Women and Hispanics

I'm wary of those that always try to suppress matter of race as if they mean little. Keeping silent about racial prejudice and other forms of segregation will not help these injustices disappear nor will it heal the wounds and break the divisions caused by systemic bigotry. One who avoids discussions of this nature is quite possibly fearful somewhat of confronting their own prejudiced ideas pertaining to the "other" and therefore chooses to ignore the issue altogether. It is somewhat an attempt to mask the dirt lying beneath the carpet surface instead of sweeping it away and disposing it off. This is what a person who avoids conversation about race is to me.

That being said. It is highly essential that Sonia Sotomayor's confirmation into the US Supreme Court be regarded as a historical moment based on her race and gender. Though she reached her position not based on these factors alone. It is still a triumph in this respect because as much as some out there like to pretend to not give a damn about race. It is impossible to ignore it and its implications on many acts of inequity and oppression throughout the world. So why try to?

Disturbing Doesn't Even Begin to Describe

The short story I just recently discovered. Written by the author of the book from which the motion picture 'Fight Club' was adapted, Chuck Palahnuik. It is a gruesome three-act account of household accidents which take place under similar motivations. I'm being euphemistic of course. You'll have to read it yourself. It's not for the faint-hearted, no pun intended considering that approximately 70 people to date have fainted during public readings of the story. I grimaced without moving while going through it. It was that horrendous.

This is why literature is such an exhilirating force. The power that can be evoked through an ordered compilation of words coupled with the images strewn together by one's imagination. This is where the power is. I may not have fainted reading 'Guts' but I was intrigued, stunned and repulsed all at once. Want to know what I'm on about. Google it but be warned. It'll make you react in a strong way.

Saying I'm Vain Wouldn't Be Fair

I'm not vain. My face is a canvas and my scalp is my terrain. I approach matter of my image as an artist or landscaper will treat their work. With careful precision and knowledge of one's own self in order to fully express all that is within in the physical realm.

Tomorrow is Saturday and I'm seeking the assistance of a hair stylist to vamp up my look. I'm going short and asymmetrical. Cropped on one side and fairly long the other. I've been inspired by those eccentric youngsters and their avant-garde hair designs that defy convention.

I want to go off the hair extensions for a long time. Short hair is chic and easy to manage. Figured I'll give it a go. Reading Luuvie's post about Solange's short hairdo at the incroyable Black Snob's website encouraged me. Society has a preference for women with long hair. So?

"I'll Be At the Studio"

She hasn't been in the news alot but her twitter updates have shown that she's in the studio working on future projects.
Namely, the first artist on her record label NEET Rye Rye. The single 'Bang Bang' is hot. Very nice dance beat with the kind of heavy percussion that you could step to. Great work. Haven't been able to view the video so why on Earth would I torture myself by posting it.

Silent Lady

She hasn't been in the news alot but her twitter updates have shown that she's in the studio working on future projects.
Namely, the first artist on her record label NEET Rye Rye. The single 'Bang Bang' is hot. Very nice dance beat with the kind of heavy percussion that you could step to. Great work. Haven't been able to view the video so why on Earth would I torture myself by posting it.

insight from bell hooks: patriarchal family values

Yesterday I came across a man in his 30's with brunette hair and tanned skin who on hearing me greet him while we shook hands asked "Where I got my accent from?" Strange little comment. I replied in a whimsical and joking manner - "From outer space." What kind of a question is that really. Is there a place that people can go 'specially for the purpose of picking up accents. Does he think that I forced myself into speaking this way through careful deliberation instead of it just having progressed naturally throughout my life. Now, I find it hard to classify my accent because although I've lived in South Africa for most of my life, I've dwelled in other places too so it is very eclectic. It's not really one thing at all. It's an amalgamation of so many different elements. So, I like to think of myself as a citizen of the world. An Earthling. I am eloquent because I read obsessively. Perhaps this is the surprising factor - the fact that I am well-spoken. Which indicates to me that a person of my ethnic background is not expecting to have a wholesome command of the English language in this country and I suppose in another Westenrized countries. How patronining. I find it prejudiced. It's certainly not the first time I've noticed a surprised expression on a person's face on hearing the first sentence come out of my mouth or even an explicit compliment based on my high level of eloquence and how well I articulate.
Why such low expectations. It's so ridiculous how paternalistic some people can be. Of course, it doesn't bother me but observations must be made for the sake of a better understanding of the world around me. It's not about narcissism - it's about dispelling ignorance in my own mind by understanding and perhaps even trying to find a common ground.
bell hooks made this point in her thesis, Feminism: A Transformational Politic

To understand domination, we must understand that our capacity as women and men to be either dominated or dominating is a point of connection, of commonality.

In this commonality, she argues, we can begin to reach a common understanding - experience empathy - which may help to terminate our divisions and prejudices for one another. Within a family unit, there are aspects of domination and submission, superiority and inferiority. The traditional nuclear family most certainly serves as a microcosm for society which is based on patriarchal belief systems and heirarchical structures.

Reading the following was a cathartic moment. Empathy! Something I've always pondered in secret and never been able to vocalise until now. In most traditional family units, it is impressed upon children that they are the lesser beings, that they must take orders in an almost militaristic fashion. Now, I certaily understand discipline and teaching right from wrong but in families - black ones especially - guidance is delivered in such a way that dehmuanizes and degrades, silences and discredits the voice of the child as if to say that it is worthless. Is it no wonder that when the child involves finally leaves the nest, they experience trouble standing up against authority even when they know very well that their rights are being violated by it. Such upbringing beats one into submission and does not foster the opportunity for raising a person up into a fully-autonomous and self-expressive human being who will not under any circumstance tolerate injustice against their own person.

Growing up in a black, working-class, father dominated household, I
experienced coercive adult male authority as more immediately threatening,
as more likely to cause immediate pain than racist oppression or class
exploitation. It was equally clear that experiencing exploitation and
oppression in the home made one feel all the more powerless when
encountering dominating forces outside the home. This is true for many
people. If we are unable to resist and end domination in relations where
there is care, it seems totally unimaginable that we can resist and end it
in other institutionalized relations of power. If we cannot convince the
mothers and/or fathers who care not to humiliate and degrade us, how can we
imagine convincing or resisting an employer, a lover, a stranger who
systematically humiliates and degrades?

There is a lucid correlation between a person's ability to take control within their nuclear family unit and their corresponding ability to do so outside of this unit. The moment a person's voice is free and most importantly, respected, within the family, they are given the unconscious knowledge that the same will occur at the workplace, amongst friends, toward a lover etc etc

In a broader sense, considering this correlation, the violation of the traditional nuclear family has its implications on why there remains such open right-wing opposition to families headed by same-sex parents. The notion of two fathers or two mothers is not traditional and is most essentially a violation of the patriarchal notion of the man being the head of the houshold. Could this be why same-sex marriage is still so controversial? Is it more an upset of patrirachal values that hold society "together" and keep male hegemony intact than it is a violation of morals and the like?

Why the Gates Arrest Shouldn't Surprise Anyone

In the 'Land of the Free', your achievements, level of education and respect from your community mean null and zero when you as still a member of a minority race group. Sometimes it's as if some whites are on a mission to prove that it doesn't matter what you have done and how much talent you have you're still below us because we're the ones that are white and you're not!
Gates arrest should not be a shock, guess what colour his skin is. Yes, Obama said it right. The officers had a lot of "stupidity" for what they did. It resounded like an act of sabotage. "Ok, let's pretend we think this guy doesn't live here, ask him what the hell he's doing trying to get into his own house. Aggravate him until he is livid with rage, not apologise for screwing up his day and when he reacts as a normal human being would do who has been treated in such a undignified manner not just this moment but many moments before this for his entire life as a black intellectual residing in a nation that works against the favour of people of colour and tries at all costs to push them to the fringes of its society. Let's re-awaken those emotions so that we'll have proper reason to arrest him as we should every one of them."

They want Obama to apologise. Put things into perspective. The police are a phony institution. The supposed defenders of justice perpetrate it continuously.

They Try to Make Me Go to Readaholics Rehab I Say "No no no!"

Hi my name is Miss Sheeba and I'm a readaholic. From the external observer perhaps who may not share the same passion, it may appear that there is are strong elements of moodiness, insecurity, shyness or social ineptness in one's character. Yet avid readers know that it is anything but.

Ann Donald wrote the article that sparked these thoughts in the Sunday Times Lifestyle. She herself is an obsessive reader and will choose to reading above any other activity. Kindred. I'm often confronted by loved ones displaying a tinge of dismay about my choice to delve into the private world of my own imagination. Where the writer's words are brought to life before my eyes and I am so drawn in that all that I am able to transcend all that exists of me and around me. I elude and leave my body behind and inhabit another world that is new yet familiar in ways in which are entirely relatable. An author, Alain De Botton said this, "The point of reading is at some level to feel less lonely, to feel less isolated with feelings, and also to feel less confused. I think that books have a privileged place in letting us know we're not alone...reading is not just a distraction, it's not just about passing an exam, it's to help you get through the day." Amen. Most cannot stand reading because it smacks off a notion of being distant from others. Yet it is when I am reading that I feel the most connected. It is a paradox yes. An enormous one. But once you fully grasp it, your life is opened to an entirely new dimension of perception. And can be an intense pleasure. The bounds of one's imagination are limitless. Yet images keep our thinking in a box in the shape of television. Reading is a much more powerful and evocative exercise. Those that find reading boring have simply not observed the beauty and potence of their own right brains.

'Elizabeth Costello' by JM Coetzee offered me insight into the way Africans view the act. In essence Africans are community-driven and this spawns somewhat from the oral tradition. Other civilisations have been more book-oriented in their ways of recording history and attaining knowledge. A reader, in this continent, is somewhat of an anomaly, a deviant and therefore someone to hold in slight suspicion because of their silence. Keeping quiet and keeping to oneself are essentially bizarre in most African traditions. Which explains why my loved ones often assume that I am deliberately slighting or ignoring them by engaging in a rather antisocial activity. When in actual fact, my mind (and body) could not be any further from that of what surrounds me. Even that I am not looking for a distraction but rather a heightening of the sense-perception and furthermore an enlightenment. The indescribable and inimitable place my mind can travel to in the act of reading books. It's no wonder the act is so addictive.

Ego Surges: When Men Turn to Aggression to Vent Hurt

Yesterday was one hell of a day. But let me begin by saying that I have been reading a very pertinent book by a the mega-selling author of 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff' - Richard Carlson. This one is a follow up and is entitled 'What About the Big Stuff?'. It's not just another load of self-help garbage as some cynics may proclaim. For those that need to get themselves on the right path to living a life guided by wisdom, it is the perfect read. I've gained so much insight from it that it's brought me to a state of inner peace. This is something I've battled with over the past several months so I'm glad to have been taught how to put things into perspective. Firstly by realising how burdensome a mind that never keeps quiet is. I noticed how easy it is for thoughts to run in and out of your head without limitation. I'm starting to develop the habit of stopping certain ones from lingering to long. This often causes a change in emotions. After all, it is true that thoughts precede feelings. The calm that has emerged in my existence emanates from this philosophy. I'm able to concentrate better and most importantly, live every moment to its fullest. What's the use of life if one can't sit back and just take in each second. It makes so much more sense. I know if I hadn't been told or at least reminded of these vital rules by which to abide by, I would've been taken upon a tidal wave of futile emotions this weekend.

Family drama like nothing on this Earth! When I look back on it, boy was it funny. Listening to Grace Jones 'Nipple to the Bottle' this morning reminded me of a male in my family who got physical with me yesterday. Now, it wasn't anything serious. He just tried to ruffle my feathers a little but with my levels of beastliness, it just didn't happen. I managed to break free from him after he held me up against the wall and then, shook me by the head repeatedly. My mother stepped in and stopped the devil from doing further damage. So, I didn't get messed up and I won't have to slash anyone with a kitchen knife in living up to my nickname - Stabs. Haha. All is well in my soul though because I have the wisdom to know that the attack had litte to do with me, I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Mind you, the male I'm talking about has a history of violence against women. I know very well that his anger stems from deep insecurities. On top of that, plenty of male chauvinistic fallacies and a not-so-latent-anymore misogyny. Well, is this the first time I've been confronted by an insecure man's aggression. No, it's happened before yet I've been knowledgable enough to see through it. One guy who happened to be anti-Semitic grabbed my neck and shook me repeatedly after I made a siding remark about Jewish people and the Holocaust but he was also mad because I rejected his advances. So that explained that one. Another male member of my family has pushed me around on two occasions. Now, they've never really hurt me at all. But my curious nature galvanises my interest in male psychology in relation to the above incidents. Men react to their hurt with physical acts. Whereas on the op-end women internalise theirs and tend to become masochism. This shows up in numerous ways. Eating disorders, self-loathing, low self-esteem etc. I've made it a habit of putting things into the right perspective by not getting into fits of rage. But since emotions are somewhat inevitable. Anger must be expressed in an outward direction. Not, I believe, at a person. As men often tend to do because society often condones men objectifying women and children, often times these are the people upon which male anger is attempted to be projected.


Unless the issue of male chauvinism is addressed in relation to male violence. Many women will often continue to blame themselves for the violence that they endure at the hands of men as my contemporaries keep on asking me. "What did you do for him to do that?" It's not a question of what a person does. No matter what a person says or does, a man has no right to lay his hands on a woman without her consent. This is a violation. No matter what. My own mother who was beaten carries this mindset. That if a woman is beaten, it means that she has done something wrong. That is what I call internalised male chauvinism. In essence, BULLSHIT! When will women wake up from these fallacies and see that a man who is physically aggressive in fact toward anyone is pathological and in need of proper psychological help as my poor father is. The first step to getting better is always admitting that there is a problem not with other people but with oneself. The wise Gandhi once said it, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

This weekend has served me with a tremendous deal of insight. Luckily I've had the wisdom to see things objectively - for what they truly are without turning to the usual masochistic way of rationalizing other people's pathologies that women often tend toward.

Michael's Orientation

Despite the many women that may have flung themselves at Michael during his youth when he was that attractive young man singing, "No one's going to be defeated", he hardly ever seemed to express any interest in women sexually. There was a celibate air about Michael. Many noticed. This was confirmed after a tape of a conversation he had with a young boy in which he expressed that his defloration took place later in life than usual at the age of 32. But he often felt lustful and longed to sleep with a woman. Well then why didn't he just hit it with Billie Jean, Dirty Diana or any of the other screaming groupies that obsessed over him? And why oh why was he having a talk with this level of mature content with a child of nine??


Eccentric Michael. I still love his music though. So, he must have been an asexual says close friend Brooke Shields. Hm, is she only saying that because he didn't display any interest of the sort in her. If so, then she is one pompous lady. But perhaps she knew him well enough considering the closeness of their platonic relationship.


Discussing asexuality. Though to the non-asexual person, this orientation seems almost difficult to comprehend, there do exist individuals out there who simply do not experience sexual attraction toward anyone at all. Though some do engage in it simply for the physical experience and satisfaction of libido, others remain autoerotic (preferring to satisfy themselves in solitude) whilst some refrain from sex altogether. Michael may very well have been one such people. All he seemed to have love and time for was music. Women may have been of little sexual importance except for when it came to his lyrics, videos and shows. He may have kissed that woman from the 'The Way You Make Me Feel' during the 'Bad' tour but what difference in importance can one attach to this than with his kissing Bubbles the Chimp? He kissed people all the time, it was non-sexual because it probably is true that Michael was asexual. Not concerned with intercourse at all. And his "lust" may have been just a way of him trying to conform or step away from his perceived awkwardness.

The Illiterates Convention

Though the anonymous nature in which people on the internet can interact is somewhat of a bonus when it comes to having the courage to air one's opinions. Such as in the wonderful blogosphere. There come an array of embarrassing repurcussions of this kind of anonymity. One of them is the perpetual disintegration of the English language.
Users of youtube are especially guilty not only of butchering the English language to shredded meat but of the most laughable racist, chauvinistic, homophobic slurs and epithets you will ever hear.
Again, I can only owe this to the level of anonymity that the internet affords a user. One has the free ability to vent all their frustrations and anxieties from daily life in a manner which is conducive to their secrecy. Then there are clowns who usually make statements in order to guage the reactions of others or begin fights on message and comment boards alike.
A mixture of apathy, illiteracy, frustrated emotions and bigoted thinking - the make up of the Illiterates Convention we now call interactive internet.

What a Relief This Is

So, after reading about the IAT tests developed by Prof Anthony Greenwald of Harvard University I took it upon myself to try them out.

Aware of how others may perceive me based on my ethnic group and gender, I was curious to know how I may approach the following issues in my mind. I was pleased to see that I am not a self-loather. Results were as follows:

• The Black - White IAT: a slight automatic preference for African Americans / Blacks relative to European Americans / Whites
• The Gender - Career IAT: moderate association of career with female and family with male
• The Skin-tone IAT: moderate automatic preference for Dark-skin relative to Light-skin
  

Well, I was worried I'd emerge with results that contradicted my wishes. Most individuals who took the above tests were shown to have preferences that opposed mine. Know what, I've made a conscious effort to resist many of the popularly-accepted beliefs flung at me from society. The IAT results I received are proof of that. This is proof that a conscious purging of racist and sexist beliefs is entirely possible. Had I not been one to always be so dissident, my test results would have appeared in the majority's margin. Heretical thinking pays off, telling ya.

Quit Hollering Will You

So while the objectification of the female form is hardly ever surprising at all, this post at the racalicious website conveyed in a succint manner every reason why rap videos are not offensive but destructive in informing society about ways in which Black women are viewed with respect to societal heirarchies.

While I'm all for celebrating diversity and promoting self-love through the positive presentation of stereotypically negated aspects of people's appearances across the colour spectrum, I have to admit that I have avoided rap videos for years now. For the same reasons that are stated in the above article.

It is disturbing, as an individual who considers themselves head first and body second, to have to acknowledge the fact that my body may be viewed as nothing more than a "communal" object to be publicly spoken about, groped and gazed upon. Even more disturbing is that society encourages this kind of behaviour from men as some kind of male bravado expression.

So the messages that rap videos are transmitting are harmful because they fail to portray Black women in a non-sexual light which means that as a Black women, no matter how you try to prove yourself as an intellectually-competent individual. There will always exist those latent sexual associations which hinder your capability as an intelligent individual in the eyes of those that know no better than to absorb images from rap videos without applying any sort of critical thinking.

Rap videos are essentially misogynstic. This is an aspect many scholars and academics have pointed out in their critiques. Yet as Black people we continue to support a music that rejects the idea that women of colour are in any way able to function on an intellectual level. When little boys and girls are exposed to this, what is it that they learn. That to be a man is to dominate women and utilize them as passive sexual tools, collect them in an ornamental fashion and dress them up, parade them to the public as modern-day Venus Hottentots only to exclaim "Hey, look fellas, my woman is hot!" Furthermore, that to be a woman is to tolerate this as "normal" and sexualize oneself. Dumbing herself down in the process only to be bestowed with the crown of male appreciation and have one's self-esteem boosted as a result of male applause.

As long as women remain stuck in the notion that in order to maintain self-love and that they must live up to beauty standards that society sets up for them progression will not happen. Progression toward a state of gender equality. Women are not afforded the chance to operate as individuals outside of the consideration of aesthetics. How can one spend their whole life wasting money on beauty cosmetics and hair-do's waiting for another to validate their appearance by calling it beautiful when self-acceptance of one's natural form has not taken place?

Androgyny: Gender-Role Transcendence

This is something that rarely crosses my mind until someone makes a unwarranted remark about my style and dress-sense which is hardly feminine. I have my reasons. It may appear to be the case of a tomboy who apparently requires a little growing up or someone unrefined or unsophisticated. The other day someone very close to me who'd I expect to receive unconditonal affinity from dissed my look in terms of the clothes I choose. Even going as far as to compare me to other more conforming young women who conduct themselves and dress styles according to their gender-role expectations rather than their individual personalities.

This remark got me thinking very strongly about homophobia. Why how others choose to engage with others sexually and relationally has anything to do with those not involved. I may not be homosexual but the way I dress seems to rouse some slight irritation within the female members of my family. Far from finding it offensive, I wonder sometimes why one would waste their time this way instead of just leaving another person be. There is nothing harmful about choosing to dress in a gender-deviant manner. It's not as if a person is shooting up heroine in their veins that it should cause deep concern. Maybe it's just the individuals here. They are archetypal examples to me of people who've without question chosen to conform to their prescribed gender-roles.

I took the BEM androgyny test and found out that my personality 70% male and 40% female. There are men that would take this test and probably score with a high margin of their personality tilting toward the feminine side. These are men who've been called repugnant and derogatory words "faggot" and "gayboy" all because of their inherent leaning toward feminine thought and behaviour. I recognise the same subordination from other women toward me and wonder why one cannot transcend their notions of how each gender should be when judging an individual. Of course, more enlightened individuals refrain from this kind of judgement. Enlightened in terms of understanding the psychology that goes into the behaviour of each gender and also how this can be affected by conditioning and upbringing.

Gender-role transcendence is important to me. When a person meets me and starts judging me according to the fact that I am a young woman, the interaction become severely problematic. They'll begin to apply genderized stereotypes to me that do not even fit at all. It amuses me though because I realize how much the other will judge a person based on appearance alone. On meeting someone, that's all there really upon which to figure someone out. But that's when the aspect of determinism comes in. Why not simply consider the person at hand a mystery to be uncovered upon the case of receiving further first-hand information. Is this such an impossible task for the human psyche to undertake. Don't know. Not a psychologist but in my ideal world, I'd wish not to have female stereotypes applied to me at all because I hardly conform.

As is expected of women, I do not commodify myself heavily through excessive adournment. Though the appearance of neatness is important to me, I don't dress in a way solely for the purpose of attracting attention from men. In fact, it comforts me to know that I am not being gazed at and objectified. I've always known that for a woman or a man to act in a way that disturbs the equilibrium of traditional gender-roles is offensive to many bigoted people as is the emergence of people of colour in power roles that were traditionally reserved for whites alone.

Grace Jones is a major inspiration. I find much of my motivation from her look.

The Sport of Gazing

A self-proclaimed scopophobic I am because there is nothing in this world I detest more than being stared at by people. It's unnerving because I know it's ojectifying. My naturally curious nature compels me to ask what could be so interesting about another human going about their daily lives that it incites one to stare. So much so that one cannot divorce their eyes from them, must gaze incessantly and continue to do so even when the person gazed at notices. It's rude and we've all, if we've been conditioned by Western standards, been socialised to know that staring at others is simply impolite. But in the spur of the moment, some individuals will forget all of what they've been taught and invade another's privacy without consideration.

There are exceptions and being aware of them, I should ease up on my judgements. Lost in thought or concentrating intenseley a person will look at an imaginary spot in space for a prolonged period of time. It may just so happen that there is someone occupying the position in which their line of vision is directed. I understand that. I do it sometime. But this exception often accompanies a blank expression and a kind of absent glint in the eyes. In that case, one can know what the cause of the gaze is. A person whose mind has drifted off to Wonderland .

So when the stare is concentrated and intense on you and it's barely imperceptible. What's the deal with that? Noticing this doesn't make me a narcissist but I am slightly interested about it. Considering my "foreign" appearance in a nation xenophobic. South African blacks are hostile to those that seem foreign in appearance. Worse still the paternalistic white South Africans. Knowing this helps me understand that staring perhaps from these types of individuals implies that in me they identify a separateness, a difference and it draws their curiosity and interest as does the fact that I end up gazed at whilst going about the mundane routine of daily life. I prefer this argument to the following which I found on wikipedia under the "Gaze" article:

Gazing at someone and seeing someone gaze upon another person, say much about the relation between the observer and the observed; and about the relations, between and among, the subjects of the gaze (the people, place, thing being gazed at); and about the circumstance of the gazing. Catherine Lutz and Jane Collins say that gazing's mutual nature reflects power structures (the nature of the relation between the gazer and the gazed-at subject) that tell us who has the right and/or need to look at whom.[citation needed] Although the gaze might be regarded merely as the action of “looking at” a subject, Jonathan Schroeder says: it signifies a psychological relationship of power, in which the gazer is superior to the object of the gaze — an idea basic to feminist textual analysis.

This is where the notion of the male gaze originated in feminist theory. Because society is regarded as male dominated and slogans such as "sex sells" exist which we see manifest in the continual objectification of women in the media, the gazer is in essence the one who supposedly claims to hold the power cards.

I don't like this at all. It's unnerving - being looked upon as an object. Terrible.

Serena Beats Venus: or did she?

Serena not keen to have the smaller plate this time around.

I would hate to think that Venus is handing titles over to her sister. Between the two of them it's clear that Venus is the Goddess of the Grass Turf.
But it's hard to tell whether she actually lost as a result of Serena's genuine power or if she just threw it to give her sister another taste of Wimbledon glory.
They're sisters damn it, it's difficult to have an authentic competitive edge over someone you've grown up with. Especially if that person is your baby sister. I'm not trying to imply some silly sense of sentimentality but there's a good chance that during their off-camera discussions, they organise their plays. Who knows?
Doesn't really matter. I love them both. How can you favouritise?

Mayhem Ensues: Posthumous Drama

There is no way that this man would've died in peace. He's going down with more hype than Princess Di and Elvis Presley put together.
He's left behind a wake of questions surrounding the cause of his death, why he even considered Diprivan as a way of falling asleep.
This is abnormal, implied Dr Drew - a known specialist in celebrity addiction cases. The man found a way of attaining an anaesthetic used only within hospital ER's and surgery wards and asked one of his hired specialists to inject him with it.
That was it, his heart couldn't take it? What an enigma. Even in death he's continuing to baffle and mystify the world.
The cybernetic mayhem now ensuing is similar to that of what took place last week on twitter - system overload. Only this time it's who can clinch a ticket to his memorial this coming Tuesday. So many registered that it's now been decided that only those that are blessed by the luck of the draw will attend.
Rest assured, the MJ-saga is still to continue.
Is this how he wanted it to be? Was every step he made within his lifetime all the way up to his "mysterious" death last week Thursday all part of an ordered set of steps he took to make sure he went out with a bang as all great entertainers wish to?

If so, why couldn't he ease off the drugs a little until after the tour. That sense, he would have really left the stage in the supernova-like fashion that makes performers memorable in death.

There are few who have managed to mystify millions in death the way this man does now.