I Did A Relaxer on My Own!

The result was far better than any relax that I've had done at a professional salon. Why? BECAUSE I FOLLOWED THE INSTRUCTIONS! Reading through the dos and don'ts section on the Organic Root Stimulator Pack made me realise why I'd always come home with some burn or other on my scalp after a relax.

1. Not mixing in the activator thoroughly enough makes a faulty mixture likely to scald you

2. Combing the hair while cream is intact

3. Not timing the relax with a timer and just thumbsucking a relax time

4. Placing relaxer on the hairline first - the most sensitive part of everyone's scalp

5. Placing cream directly onto scalp and relaxing previously processed hair instead of new growth only

These are common mistakes yet the major causes of hair loss and breakage. Doing it myself, adhering to all the instructions. I came out without a single burn and relaxed hair.

Easy. So much cheaper. I will not get into the political debate on black hair straightening. I'll leave that to Chris Rock. I do it because it makes life simpler. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Shoot to Kill Someone's Little Baby

A day after the Chief Commissioner Cele of the South African police department, a three year old boy Atlehang Aphane is shot dead. Being mistakenly identified as an offender. All because he stuck a pipe, which was perceived as a gun, through the car window in which he was seated.

Read the full story here: www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/nov/10/south-africa-police-kill-boy

Trigger happy cops not using discretion and logic. Is that really the solution to the crime epidemic in South Africa? Government must seriously reevaluate its approach toward this issue. I hope that this incident among others will spark debate about this so called "shoot to kill" issue. I get the feeling some unthinking officers will use this an a means to vent their suppressed urges to use a gun on assignment and this might very well occur again if intervention does not take place.

The majority of this country's problem lies in government. There is a trickle down of notions encouraging megalomania and using extreme force in the quest for power. If the police do not have the public's best interests at heart and a bevy of sociopathic killers on the loose, what kind of a country can we have that promotes healthy and safe tourism especially as the Fifa World Cup is scheduled for mid 2010. Is South Africa with all its hatred ready to host such a far reaching and important event for the world?

As for idiot Malema who seems to believe his life is under threat and needs the country's taxpayers' money to fund his bodyguards. Who does he think he is, Obama? This is what I mean when I talk about power-hunger. These apparent leaders do not have the people's interests at heart. All they are really bothered about is creating the illusion of power for themselves. After hearing the above accounts, it's clear that the we need more money pumped into our safety than politicians. It's unpleasant to think that simply standing outside of your home tying your laces, taking a drive while off from work or being a little innocent child playing witha pipe in the backseat of a car will get you killed...by the police. History repeats itself doesn't it. Only that the brutality is not white Afrikaaner but Nguni and very much black.

I was reminded of the killing of immigrant, Amadou Dialo who was shot 42 times after attempting to remove the wallet from his pocket whilst the officers believed he was armed and dangerous. More senseless killings.

All For The Love for the L.O.V.E.

 Just checked out the 'This is It' flick and it was amazing. Or would have been amazing. Not much of a sentimentalist but jerked out some tears watching the 'Human Nature' section. The movie just highlighted even more strongly why his death was such a tragedy - this show would've been simply amazing but...
Thoroughly enjoyable. Especially hearing all the quirky rehearsal dialogue. I saw so much more of his conversational personality than I've seen in any of his interviews. He was just a plain old eccentric with plenty of humour. What more would you expect from an artist, I mean a genuine artist such as MJ himself.
A master performer at his peak, his music lives on. Doing it all for the L.O.V.E.

Look At Me Dammit

If there is anything profound about what I have observed within the realms of human psychology is that being ignored hurts a person's sense of self enormously. Rejection. We've all had to face it. From the smallest scale to the most painful - when a loved one disregards you. Today I witnessed a very interesting display of rage from a person hurt about a perceived rejection and belittling. It's not the first time and it's wonderful to see that in people of both genders, all ages across the colour spectrum cannot stand not being noticed. It's as if we all have this instinct which drives this desire to be seen and heard and know that your voice is acknowledged by the group. Could this be evolutionary? This desire? Maybe so. If you weren't part of a group back in the day, you'd be left alone to salvage for yourself in presence of wild animals, harsh weather and solitude. Nobody wanted to be a loner of a caveman or woman. I'm just assuming of course. But this could be a plausible explanation. I'll do some reading into this.

This is a modern age and more than ever, there's been a significant emergence of hermits. I'm one myself. Not that I'm misanthropic. I down with humans but solitude is a conducive environment for certain activities that just require silence and not the presence of other people. Yet I've had people take this personally. Rejection? Seriously, how sensitive can you get. You have those phrases that so many like to toss around such as "No man is an island" - well I'm not ruling out the possibilities of human contact when I decide to go off and work on a novel or revise course material. Yes people are necessary but sometimes you have to go it alone. One can't be 100% dependent on company all the time. Einstein made a lovely comment about this. I'll paraphrase. When one is immature solitude is unbearable but "delightful" when one is mature. I feel that but not everyone does. So while these peeps are standing outside of my fortress walls trying to launch canonballs and yelling and screaming about my eremetic lifestyle choices, I'l be chilling in my castle enjoying the peace of mind and splendid silence through which ideas are birthed.

Obama Wins the Nobel Prize

All I can say is that I am so very proud to be alive to see this is is motion. The very first president of colour is awarded the Nobel Prize. The fourth time such an award has been given to a US president. As if he needs any more reason to go down in the history books.

Rightly given. Aside from all the brainless remarks about him being racist, critique about his approach with the Health Care Reformation program. His election united a whole nation and inspired the world to look toward embracing "change" and growth. This is so reminiscent of Nelson Mandela's election aided by FW de Klerk's step down in 1994.

Bitter and Big-Bodied: who are you listening to?

Women really put each other through hell. When a woman has a problem with the way she looks, she may have a tendency to attack another woman through gossip, vindictive words and insults. I'm tired of having to withstand lame and unwarranted remarks, hostility and rudeness from other women when all I've ever done is address them with respect. Of course when a person's nasty side is revealed it becomes hard to be amiable. So the mode of conduct changes. That doesn't mean the person you insulted is the 'skinny bitch' you always suspected she was, it means that you need to stop projecting your body insecurity onto other people and focus on improving your life. It's always the same superficial nonsense about looks. I think of my own life and how some notice the tiniest fluctuations in my weight and make open remarks about it. With glee they'll say "Ha, you've gained some weight I see." I'll just smile dismissively and walk on. Who gives a damn? I swear they perceive me as a mannequin sometimes. I've heard people comment about my body size in my presence while I'm right there just rambling on with incredible stupidity. It's bizarre this obsession women especially have when it comes to comparing their bodies with those of other women. Thin women often bear the brunt of big girl's bitter emotions at struggling with weight issues. I'm not even that thin. I couldn't care less whether I am the "right" size. My emphasis is on health not how good I look to men. I mean what? Why live for male approval? I have different aims. Yet I'm villified often as a way of trying to put me down by telling me I'm not a proper anyway because I don't seek attention from men or act in a way that is gender conforming. It's as if I have insecurities that don't belong to me projected and in putting a thinner woman down, one who is not happy with their size can feel better about herself.

Don't get me wrong. I have a thick skin but being human, I guess I have enough of it sometimes. Enough of awful words from people who don't know me but assume life is rosy because I an a thin young woman. Why does this myth exist? That life is sufficiently easier for a woman when she is thin. This is not true. It's not easier or worse. It's all relative to circumstance not body size. Even in the dating arena. It's not any easier trying to find someone if you're skinny. I've been living the life of a hermit for so long. You can't tell me being thin helps you find someone. In thinking that you can insult a person and expect that it is okay because they are thin is a fallacy. It's just ridiculous. In trying to level themselves against other women thinking that they big size makes them less superior, these women only end up creating animosity and what does that help. This is exactly why I don't conform to western society's ideas about female behaviour and appearance. It's the strife and complication trying to fulfill these standards brings. Here I am getting regularly dissed by big girls that have a hard time accepting themselves for who they are because fashion mags keep talking diet fads and praising the skinny look. The annoying thing about it. I have fucking noting to do with it. I just happen to be thin myself. It's all just a great big circus I tell you.

Entitlement, Ownership and Boundaries

I just finished reading the blog entry at swpd by writer Los Angelista about her encounter with a white woman who got angry and revealed her racism after a request to touch her hair was turned down. Like many of the commenters I've had such an experience. With me however as is usually the case, the person didn't ask. They just went ahead and touched it. Funny enough it was the same hair I had on at the time. In both cases I pulled away before the gesture was perceived as welcome. The people were involved also like the white woman in the above account expressed disdain at my withdrawal. What's wrong with touching someone's hair when this is prohibited. Everything. How dare someone come out of nowhere and feel entitled to try to touch another's hair without even asking? I see it was racism because hey presto, the dummies were both white. If you recognised a common humanity with someone else you would treat them in a manner you yourself would like to be treated. Respectfully and with the correct decency and dignity.

I try to put myself in their position. If I were a person who has been told all my life that I am superior. That I am entitled to do as I please as those who share my ethnicity often do and consequently get away with. Wouldn't I feel it alright to approach a complete stranger, a person of colour who I know nothing of aside from the fact that they happen to be in my immediate vicinity and touch their hair without any permission given on their part. What stupidity! There is nothing harmless about this. Yes touching a person period is an intimate act. To try to reach a level of non-consensual emotional intimacy with a stranger who does not welcome your advances is harassing.

I rarely personalise these events. There people's perceptions are quite obviously jaded by their cloak of white privilege. I maintain my dignity and use these as noted results from experiments in social study. It's the stance I take in order to survive. They like to treat me as their objects why not use them as my own guinea pigs upon which observations can be made. Haha. If I had to dwell on all the things that racists articulate and gesture toward me daily. Here on the African continent even. Probably worse because they picture themselves as beacons of civilisation against the backdrop of a black "savage" population. Yet it is the racism itself that is savage and heinous. I witness acts of sheer hilarity. The ignorant white person's condition of believing that he can do all he or she wants is something I'll never truly fathom in my mind. I just can't. I'm not being self-righteous but what does it really take to get to the point where you on longer see another human as human. What they are. Simply what they are. Equal and human as you are.

Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy

All I could muster in my mind after hearing former US President Jimmy Carter's opinion about the Health Care Plan fallout is "thank you, someone has finally said it". That it is not a person of colour so he will not be called out on racial anxiety as white people often say we do. Jokes have always been made of this. I remember a string of "it's because i'm black" commercials (can't remember which product was being endorsed) where the black person was taken the mickey out of for "seeing" racism even where it may not exist. There are a pile of anonymous commenters at Macon D's stuff white people do blog who make there similar remarks. It's a quintessential case of denial and it just doesn't help. Dr Robin Smith often makes the analogy of "putting a plaster over a tumor" and them hoping it will in away with respect to psychological wounds. Unless the cancer is treated accordingly, it's not going to heal. That's what nations such as the Uganda, Rwanda, Liberia, USA, South Africa need. Healing. Healing which may only emerge from open discussion about issues of race and not juvenile insults and rants toward the nation's leaders and their plans to make the nation better for all.

I'm of the notion that one who tries to deny racism or avert speaking of it is just as worse as the racist himself. When a person is not critically aware of the world around them, they are easily prone to absorbing ideas about race and gender that the majority upholds. In the US, it is the white capitalist male-dominant ideology that reigns supreme and if you couldn't be bothered to apply proper critique. You might end ur riding along the wave and standing firm for belief systems that have reinforced social division and not facilitated fair treatment of all human beings as equals.

More Tempers Flaring

What a month it's been. Americans losing their minds left right and centre. People, what's up? Is the recession having this effect on you? Lunacy. Let's being with the twat I've always known to be narcissistic. To those in the know, Kanye's disrupted many an award show and spilled many an obtuse statement publicly. So now, a big deal because it the victim of his unthinking conduct is a innocuous teenage country songstress. He seems always on a mission to grab attention and he'll get it any way he can. That's the sadness of it. He fails to look beyond his intentions to examine the likely repurcussions of his actions. I agree with the Diary of an Anxious Black Woman blog writer, this act contained traces of sexism and misogyny. Better you steal a woman's limelight and attempt to speak on behalf of another woman as if she has on voice of her own. Defamatory.


In relation to the US president's comment which no one would have otherwise heard of had it not been for in insolent journalist who knows not his boundaries. He's right, and it's good to know the president is not alienated from the pop culture of the nation he's leading. Hopeless minded individuals may think that they are privy to every detail of the President's private conversations. How so? Are they telepathic? What part of "leaked audio" do they fail to understand. Part of a President's job is to remain diplomatic and cool in the face of heat. Who knows what he could have been thinking standing on that podium glancing at ignoramus Wilson after that lame comment. Easily have been cursing him out in his mind but dare he say it knowing his position.

As for Kanye's Mtv stunt. The bully explanation is worth considering. Would he have stepped up to Slim Shady in the hip hop category? If so we would have witnessed an onstage brawl and not a passive acquiescence the likes of Taylor. She is resilient. Give her credit for that. The twitter republic is more offended than she is. What does that say of how much of a role the public makes in blowing an event to an disproportionate size?

Faithful Proteges of La Grace: or not?

From the beginning it was clear that Lady Gaga was somewhat of a modern-day blonde version of the iconic Grace Jones. The pantless outfits, the outrageous designs courtesy of 'Haus of Gaga' and the sexually uninhibited nature of the Konvict music artist known as Lady Gaga. She caught my attention from the start and although her songs may be repetitive, weak and lacking in real substance she is exciting and fresh - a


I am a huge Grace Jones fan but I have an objection to those that just outright emulate her without adding a touch of their own individuality. Yes, Rihanna I'm talking to you. Showing up at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week this year dressed the exact same way Grace Jones was last year at the same event may I add. What copycat-ism.
Black Snob posted some images from the Couture Supplement of Vogue Italia a while back. It was then we came full circle to realising who she really and truly is inspired by.
However, the comparisons are ill-placed. Ri-ri may be able to dress and make herself up as La Jones but will she ever acquire that Hurricane-like ferocity that she commanded in her music and videos. She's not convincing me. No, Madame. You need to tighten up on the eccentric maneuvers and try acting a little less cute.

The Final Straw

Her actions are "indefensible" says John Macenroe about Serena's outburst at this year's US Open semifinal. It was suprising to see her acting that way. I'd never imagined Serena to have such a violent nature but knowing what it's like to be on the receiving end of racism, I can somewhat empathise. The Williams have had to put up with racism from tennis crowds to umpires favouring white opponents over Venus and Serena. Maybe that lineswoman who made the foot fault call was in Serena's eyes lobbying for Clijsters to take it and not making warranted calls. So Serena became irate. In doing so, she provoked the cowardly woman to run to the umpire with her tail between her legs to file a complaint of disorderly conduct - racket smash. This is what caused the point penalty that made her lose. Well, well, well.

As an afterthought, I wonder if the person having that outburst were white, the Asian lineswoman would have reacted in a similar fashion. Black people are often perceived in a negative light even with accordance to the mildest forms of fervour and irritation. Bigots often associate black people with negatively abstract ideas. For instance, an assertive black person is either angry or bitter. But a white who displays assertiveness is viewed as a symbol of strength and power - a dominating force who is most likely to succeed in life for owning these very qualities. A double standard brought about by white privilege.

More to Love

Mika sang it well - "Big girls, you are beautiful". It's wonderful to see such a strong emergence of non-skinny women on the entertainment scene. The standards must erode away until they're gone. Not every woman out there is super-thin. Big girls usually have the most powerful voices anyway.



Gabourey Sidibe who acts in the movie Precious. The movie has not come out yet so can't say much but I'm anxious to see it.



Beth Ditto, lead singer of the group gossip who's impressed everyone with her unique vocals. What a diva.

Joe Wilson the Ignoramus

Wow, Nancy Pelosi's face said it all. She took a double look and creased her eyebrows in bemusement. What was Joe Wilson thinking shouting "You lie" to the President after making a statement about illegals not being included in the new Health Care program. What kind of sense of entitlement causes a person to yell out something that profane during a President's address. White Republicans and Conservatives are really having a hard time eating their humble pie and just accepting the President of the US for who he is. Not just another black man who they're so used to looking down upon and infantilizing but the most important and powerful man in the land.

Shame on them!

Caster's Verdict-Intersex

So the truth is out. While most were on the "She's a man" bandwagon. There were some less exaggerative ones speculating that she has a biologically androgynous nature. So what are they going to do about her career now? This case may raise some questions about how to classify hermaphroditic individuals in sports. Those who fall outside of the gender binary have always been shunned and pushed to the margins of society. Perhaps stories such as that of Caster Semenya will force the world to rethink the way it approaches gender issues within sporting tournaments.
As for the 'YOU' magazine spread. It appears to me as a desperate last ditch effort to prove to everyone that she is just a regular 18 year old woman.

The Black Snob referred to YOU as a "tabloid" magazine. Haha. Props to Danielle's sense of humour. Never thought of it that way. Just one of those long standing locally produced cheap mag with creepy articles sometimes. Come to think of it, it's a kind of paper mix of gossip, local stories, fashion articles for teens, cartoons, a short story, a TV guide, a centrefold porter, more articles. It's loaded with things . That anyone would find it necessary to buy regularly is beyond me.

District 9: Finally Seen It

Two days ago, I satisfied my curiosity and went ahead to check it out. Funny incident. A man resembling JM Coetzee became impatient whilst waiting in the ticket queue about 30 minutes before the movie was scheduled to begin because there was only one till operating. He angrily tried to nudge me forward, it was ridiculous. I was the only one in front of him and the line was short. Patience is something so many must make a habit. Since I love watching people get mad in public, it was really hilarious.

So let's get to the movie. It's really on surprise to me that it turned out the way it did. Hollywood can't help but revert to stereotypes in relation to people of colour. Once again, the main protagonist is white. We are forced to view people of colour, in this case Nigerians, as somewhat subhuman or a deviation from normality. We perceive the story through an intrinsically white lens and thus empathise with the protagonist and his life. So I can certainly agree now that I've seen it with the critiques made at racialicious. It may not be an allegorical reference to apartheid entirely but it did deal wad of offensive racial stereotypes. My question is was the Nigerian aspect really needed. What part did it play within the main plot other than that of attempting to provide comical relief in somewhat of a heavy movie. In that case, it seems Neil Blomkamp and his people found it quite appropriate to 'bamboozle' these caricatured characters. Typical Hollywood style.

As far as the movie being an apartheid allegory, I beg to differ. If the prawns are somewhat of a representation of blacks during the time of National Party rule, why is it that they come from a different planet. Remember who the original inhabitants were. This movie does not come across as allegorical. It was a worthy attempt at science fiction within an incongruous context. But some aspects of it were just plain egregious. Either way, I'm glad to see more blockbuster-scale movies being shot on the continent. Let's just hope the writers and directors will attempt to do a wiser job at portraying characters in a less prejudiced and more progressive light.

When the World Debates Your Gender

What a firestorm Miss Semenya has caused. Ever since, she siezed the gold medal for the 800m women's at the IAAF Champs, she's been at the centre of this totally ridiculous controversy concerning her gender.

It's funny to me. When I saw her running, it did not even occur to me that her gender is somewhat unclear. I saw a young woman running exceptionally well and clobbering her competitors. As it turned out, the French and Russian runners that she beat were upset about the astounding way she won the race and went on a mission to create some speculation.

She's been treated to a hero's welcome here - OR Tambo Airport was populated with hundreds of newfound fans congratulating her first-time performance at the tournament.
But it's the questions that baffle me. She's muscular yes, she's strong and athletic in physique like most other athletes yet there still remains a big question mark as to what side of the population she should be classified under and it's kind of tragic.

I know she's a woman. You can see it on her face. She may not conform to the popular standard of beauty that society seems to dictate. Her hair is not long, her body is not soft, her breasts are not full and she does not wear her hair long. That's exactly why she's been given so much scrutiny. I really don't think they would have bothered had she been more feminine in the way she appears.

I've even heard some say that she must change her ways and learn female etiquette. Once again, it comes down to the gender-binary and the pressure it puts on androgynes to fit the norm. I wrote a post about gender-role transcendence before and this is certainly something to consider here. We're a long way away from a world where gender is hardly an issue in the way people are judged.

On the other hand, I would agree with those that accuse those that alleged against her of racism. Would they have bothered to bring this up if she had not placed first and simply won silver or bronze or nothing at all? No, they would not have given a damn and that goes to show that whites still have a problem with people of colour dominating sport. Venus and Serena have had to face up to the same challenges and evne worse for them playing in a sport which is white-dominated.

News:IOL

Claims of racism were made against "white media" and the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) by politicians and Athletics South Africa (ASA) president Leonard Chuene these past two days, but Sam said Semenya formed part of their strategy for London and would remain so unless an investigation into Semenya's gender by the IAAF proved otherwise.

The bloggers at racialicious made some pertinent comments about the whole charade and I could certainly agree with most of what is being said by the media defending Semenya's privacy. This case should have been handled in a confidential manner but it's leaked. Can you imagine having the whole world debate on whether or not you really are what you claim to be? I certainly can't.

Long Silence

J Randy Taraborrelli's 620 page biography on the late Michael has kept me busy for a while. Was a fanatic of course, it was necessary to undertake this venture and glad I did. A bevy of new information earned and my oh my how entertaining. He was a character. Don't need to say that but this book is privy to knowledge even some hardcore fans may not have known. So, officially over it but the full musical collection must still be owned so not entirely achieved closure.

Between dodging annoying people without assuming the battlefield stance and laughing at simpletons parading the TV screen on "reality" shows. I've managed to gain momentum in fueling ideas for a literary project. This is all very personal and never write full posts this way but funny as it may seem. I don't have much else to say. How apathetic of me. Well. That's a wrap for now. Keep it locked.

Compassion for the Plight of the "other"

Is perhaps one of the most incredible triumphs of human character to note. We don't realise it but recognising the humanity in those that are not like us is a challenge. Especially in a world that is so bent on forming divisions instead of breaking them through empathy and understanding.

These thoughts emanate from an article in the Saturday Star Canvas by Janet Smith. This month we celebrate women's lib or what we have of it. Though much needs to be done to obtain full equality, great strides have already been made. In comparison to women that lived half a century ago, we have many more opportunities to grow and progress as humans and not simply women. Ideas surrounding gender roles are much less rigid. Women can more or less do anything they want to. For that, it is a privilege to be a woman in the 21st century.

But it is a woman's location that makes all the difference. Muslim states in Africa and Asia still practice brutal genital mutilations. A clear act of pure unadultered misogyny which is accompanied by a myriad of other heinous acts.
I began this post with some talk about empathy. A recent movie which has struck plenty of controversy mainly owed to a scene in which a woman mutilates herself 'Antichrist' has left me wondering. The European public is so up in arms about this scene which is part of a movie and thus not real but less troubled by the reality of the many thousands of mutilations that take place. It serves to speak of how empathy breaks down almost immediately at the ethnic barrier. The West is somewhat indifferent to the suffering of those is less developed regions of the world because of this business of seeing only the "other" and not a fellow human being similar in a number of ways.
Otherization is something we have probably all been guilty of. Recognising that common humanity that binds us is one way forward toward a post-racial and post-sexist society and world.

History Making: Empowerment and Inspiration to Women and Hispanics

I'm wary of those that always try to suppress matter of race as if they mean little. Keeping silent about racial prejudice and other forms of segregation will not help these injustices disappear nor will it heal the wounds and break the divisions caused by systemic bigotry. One who avoids discussions of this nature is quite possibly fearful somewhat of confronting their own prejudiced ideas pertaining to the "other" and therefore chooses to ignore the issue altogether. It is somewhat an attempt to mask the dirt lying beneath the carpet surface instead of sweeping it away and disposing it off. This is what a person who avoids conversation about race is to me.

That being said. It is highly essential that Sonia Sotomayor's confirmation into the US Supreme Court be regarded as a historical moment based on her race and gender. Though she reached her position not based on these factors alone. It is still a triumph in this respect because as much as some out there like to pretend to not give a damn about race. It is impossible to ignore it and its implications on many acts of inequity and oppression throughout the world. So why try to?

Disturbing Doesn't Even Begin to Describe

The short story I just recently discovered. Written by the author of the book from which the motion picture 'Fight Club' was adapted, Chuck Palahnuik. It is a gruesome three-act account of household accidents which take place under similar motivations. I'm being euphemistic of course. You'll have to read it yourself. It's not for the faint-hearted, no pun intended considering that approximately 70 people to date have fainted during public readings of the story. I grimaced without moving while going through it. It was that horrendous.

This is why literature is such an exhilirating force. The power that can be evoked through an ordered compilation of words coupled with the images strewn together by one's imagination. This is where the power is. I may not have fainted reading 'Guts' but I was intrigued, stunned and repulsed all at once. Want to know what I'm on about. Google it but be warned. It'll make you react in a strong way.