I have never been stalked before but what do you do about someone who continues to contact you long after you have said goodbye to them more than once? It is guilt-inducing but at the same time very frightening. Akin to attempting to get a message across to a brick wall.
Obsessions smack of not having self-control and being terribly insecure. Why should one person be your only hope at having your desires fulfilled. There are so many more opportunities to find joy and satisfaction.
Its pitiful watching someone deteriorate in this way. Unable to simply let go. You want so desperately to tell them to sod off but you pity them knowing that at the centre of all that insane behaviour is someone desperate for validation.
Wisdom tells me that for the sake of not fanning flames, all communication must be shut off. I will only be rewarding this individual by contacting them.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Sex Appeal: Not Woman Enough
In this patriarchal world, it seems that any woman who hones and focuses on anything more than having sex appeal is dismissed as immature, boring, less female and unattractive. The very basis of this form of female subjugation demands the display of skin for the purpose of enticing a male gaze.
This kind of attitude is not hard to miss and I see poor teenage girls falling prey to this shoddy ideology, dressing in ways that do not fit their age and spending more time being attractive for boys than channeling energy into excelling at sports and academics, thinking about what potential career paths are fitting for their particular personality types.
The world we inhabit encourages girls to grow believing that their worth is measured by their appearance and, of course, ideological state apparatus' such as the media, family, and even religion has women thinking that they should work over-time at improving their looks. Once for wearing loose jeans, I had someone inform me that I was "selling myself short". Imagine that. Really? Not reaching my full potential is not achieving my goals. The last time I checked. My goals did not include wearing life-sapping skinny jeans that cause itching, sweat and blocked follicles that may result in rash for the sake of looking good.
These pressures put on women is one reason I was compelled to read 'The Beauty Myth' by Naomi Wolf last year which, though exaggerated and focused more on the plight of white, middle-class women in North America, struck a major chord in my mind.
The lack of coverage of female sports is, without surprise, also a consequence of this line of thinking. Without a sexist gender binary in place, women's sports would be taken just as seriously as males. This article at Gender Across Borders explains the link between this phenomenon and sexism quite well.
This kind of attitude is not hard to miss and I see poor teenage girls falling prey to this shoddy ideology, dressing in ways that do not fit their age and spending more time being attractive for boys than channeling energy into excelling at sports and academics, thinking about what potential career paths are fitting for their particular personality types.
The world we inhabit encourages girls to grow believing that their worth is measured by their appearance and, of course, ideological state apparatus' such as the media, family, and even religion has women thinking that they should work over-time at improving their looks. Once for wearing loose jeans, I had someone inform me that I was "selling myself short". Imagine that. Really? Not reaching my full potential is not achieving my goals. The last time I checked. My goals did not include wearing life-sapping skinny jeans that cause itching, sweat and blocked follicles that may result in rash for the sake of looking good.
These pressures put on women is one reason I was compelled to read 'The Beauty Myth' by Naomi Wolf last year which, though exaggerated and focused more on the plight of white, middle-class women in North America, struck a major chord in my mind.
The lack of coverage of female sports is, without surprise, also a consequence of this line of thinking. Without a sexist gender binary in place, women's sports would be taken just as seriously as males. This article at Gender Across Borders explains the link between this phenomenon and sexism quite well.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Tim Wise Delivers
Eloquently done and full of wisdom. Tim Wise's lecture on "white privilege" gives you insight into the workings of race construction, white privilege and systems of racial domination in the U.S. not dissimilar to other society's upon which apartheid has wreaked mighty havoc.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The Dearth of Female Scientists: is there a non-sexist reason for this?
Reading an article which depicts an exercise that debunks a common myth that women and girls are incapable of scientific thought and success in science-related fields.
Looking at how minimal the numbers of female graduates and tenured professors in science-related professions may be a discouraging factor for girls who display interest in the field. But there is also a level of socialisation that comes into play. Gender performance expectations sway some women away from fields that encourage the advancement of logical thinking skils such as engineering and the sciences.
The discrimination that women face through micro-aggressions delivered by male colleagues and superiors in the process of climbing the academic ladder sometimes also proves too much for some women and they crack under pressure.
I have to say that I can give personal accounts of shady behaviour from a tenured professor who is being considered for the Head of the Physics department making outright chauvinist remarks in a physics class where men outnumber women to even getting too friendly with female students. Now, there are boundaries that need to be maintained in the academic arena and to me, efforts to point out gender difference in a way that knowingly undermines female ability within a specific course of study is undoubtedly sexist. But this same professor claims that he will "not change" which brings to light another element of why women and girls could find themselves giving up on the pursuit of scientific excellence: run-of-the-mill douchebags that seem to have personal issues with members of the opposite gender.
These attitudes may stem from the common tendency in society to devalue all female qualities that remain disjointed from her physical appearance. Female intelligence is non-physical and for reasons that operate in the interests of a patriarchal value system must be dismissed without further discussion.
In a professor who makes passes at his female students, there is a chauvinist who seeks to strip a woman of any pride she may have at pressing hard at academic pursuits to nothing more than a female body that is or should be desired.
This also leads to the notion of expectations. It's beel long proven that the child that succeeds is most often the child who is expected to succeed. I saw this in my own life. Teachers at my high school, female of course, saw potential in me and on a deeper level, I made it my mission to live up to that greatness that they believed I could reach. When those around you anticipate your inability or failure, you, depending on how thick your skin and how firm your character, may easily lose sight of your goals and slip into the role those around you expect you to play. It takes a conscious reminder to oneself that external expectations are not the ultimate definer. A person incapable of defining themselves will give way to the opinions of others and become a product of their environment. This dynamic may occur with female students in science-related fields. You come into the game as a pariah and get treated as such. Without proper guard, self-doubt can seep in as a result and a downward spiral begins which would not have started had the work environment not been so exclusionary and pessimistic to the presence of a woman in the first place.
Women have made outstanding contrubitions to the science over the span of decades but the dismissal and sexism of our male counterparts has held us back in tremendous ways. Patriarchy breaks down at the point when men acknowledge the fact that their dominance over the lives and bodies of women does not define their worth or power. Until this fallacy breaks, the struggle to recognise female intelligence in male-dominated academic fields will continue.
Looking at how minimal the numbers of female graduates and tenured professors in science-related professions may be a discouraging factor for girls who display interest in the field. But there is also a level of socialisation that comes into play. Gender performance expectations sway some women away from fields that encourage the advancement of logical thinking skils such as engineering and the sciences.
The discrimination that women face through micro-aggressions delivered by male colleagues and superiors in the process of climbing the academic ladder sometimes also proves too much for some women and they crack under pressure.
I have to say that I can give personal accounts of shady behaviour from a tenured professor who is being considered for the Head of the Physics department making outright chauvinist remarks in a physics class where men outnumber women to even getting too friendly with female students. Now, there are boundaries that need to be maintained in the academic arena and to me, efforts to point out gender difference in a way that knowingly undermines female ability within a specific course of study is undoubtedly sexist. But this same professor claims that he will "not change" which brings to light another element of why women and girls could find themselves giving up on the pursuit of scientific excellence: run-of-the-mill douchebags that seem to have personal issues with members of the opposite gender.
These attitudes may stem from the common tendency in society to devalue all female qualities that remain disjointed from her physical appearance. Female intelligence is non-physical and for reasons that operate in the interests of a patriarchal value system must be dismissed without further discussion.
In a professor who makes passes at his female students, there is a chauvinist who seeks to strip a woman of any pride she may have at pressing hard at academic pursuits to nothing more than a female body that is or should be desired.
This also leads to the notion of expectations. It's beel long proven that the child that succeeds is most often the child who is expected to succeed. I saw this in my own life. Teachers at my high school, female of course, saw potential in me and on a deeper level, I made it my mission to live up to that greatness that they believed I could reach. When those around you anticipate your inability or failure, you, depending on how thick your skin and how firm your character, may easily lose sight of your goals and slip into the role those around you expect you to play. It takes a conscious reminder to oneself that external expectations are not the ultimate definer. A person incapable of defining themselves will give way to the opinions of others and become a product of their environment. This dynamic may occur with female students in science-related fields. You come into the game as a pariah and get treated as such. Without proper guard, self-doubt can seep in as a result and a downward spiral begins which would not have started had the work environment not been so exclusionary and pessimistic to the presence of a woman in the first place.
Women have made outstanding contrubitions to the science over the span of decades but the dismissal and sexism of our male counterparts has held us back in tremendous ways. Patriarchy breaks down at the point when men acknowledge the fact that their dominance over the lives and bodies of women does not define their worth or power. Until this fallacy breaks, the struggle to recognise female intelligence in male-dominated academic fields will continue.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
(Unnatural) Blonde Ambition
Tweak it, cramp it, flatten it but go blonde and it could be the best thing you ever do for your career*.
*spoken with a true note of sarcasm.
Monday, June 13, 2011
A Thousand Sisters against Violence in Congo
A fact for you to digest but only digest because you may not ever be able to fully empathise.
A Thousand Sister's Official Website can be found at this link.
Since 1998, 5.4 million people have died in the Democratic Republic of Congo. The death toll is the equivalent of an Asian Tsunami every 6.5 months. A September 11 every 2.5 days. And nearly half of the deaths in the Congo are of children under the age of five.
A Thousand Sister's Official Website can be found at this link.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
2011's Biggest Biter: Beyonce's Choreographer
The individual who "choreographed" the 'Run the World' dance decided to take some footage from round here and copy and paste it onto the routine. Watch this and you will know. This is for that troll, hutton, that came onto the blog a while ago and decided to make some unjustified remarks. Here you go.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Venomous Trolling: my response
As much as I appreciate the comments that have been flowing into my blog, there is a limit to what I am able to read. I question the sanity of any individual obsessed with coming to my blog and making hateful remarks such as the following:
May I begin by stating that I find it hard to understand how you would know this much about my history and background of which I speak very little of to those I am not familiar with? This is surprising.
It's a lot of venom to have to stomach. Such strong hatred is abnormal. That you would come to this blog for a second times even after recommended readings that might help you understand why you are acting out this way is just amazing to me. There should be something more worth your while to invest your time in than shaming me with notions that are false.
Firstly, blackness is not defined by a state of lack or poverty. In trying to nullify my proclamation of blackness by stating that I went to "white private schools" you make a negative remark about what this so called blackness really is and how it is defined on a social scale.
To whom am I being condescending? There was never any individual that I addressed when making my posts. You are entitled to your own opinion but if you want to read this blog there is a certain protocol required and that is that you maintain respect for the writer of this blog. I have allowed your first two comments to be published. Any further vitriol will be blocked and you will no longer be permitted to voice your opinion on the 'Unspoken Word'.
There will be things written in this blog that do not please you so I advise you, open at your own risk. If there is something here you find offensive, I cannot be responsible for your response. This is my domain where I am free to spit my own opinions and vent as honestly as I can. If it strikes a nerve then I suggest you don't read it at all.
I am a pacifist and do not believe in making others feel small. If you wish to do so please divert your attention to some other individual or perhaps blog.
"For those with the luxury of attending 95% white private schools, then proclaiming their blackness behind a computer screen at the University of Cape Town or Chicago, I truly envy you. Instead of feeling sorry for myself in solitude, I plan to move beyond your unbearbly condescending, self-serving bullshit and spend time with people who are actually proud to be black South Africans. One more thing for those who think every person with a white parent thinks alike. We don't fuckers, we don't. I hope in due time the scales will be removed from your eyes."
May I begin by stating that I find it hard to understand how you would know this much about my history and background of which I speak very little of to those I am not familiar with? This is surprising.
It's a lot of venom to have to stomach. Such strong hatred is abnormal. That you would come to this blog for a second times even after recommended readings that might help you understand why you are acting out this way is just amazing to me. There should be something more worth your while to invest your time in than shaming me with notions that are false.
Firstly, blackness is not defined by a state of lack or poverty. In trying to nullify my proclamation of blackness by stating that I went to "white private schools" you make a negative remark about what this so called blackness really is and how it is defined on a social scale.
To whom am I being condescending? There was never any individual that I addressed when making my posts. You are entitled to your own opinion but if you want to read this blog there is a certain protocol required and that is that you maintain respect for the writer of this blog. I have allowed your first two comments to be published. Any further vitriol will be blocked and you will no longer be permitted to voice your opinion on the 'Unspoken Word'.
There will be things written in this blog that do not please you so I advise you, open at your own risk. If there is something here you find offensive, I cannot be responsible for your response. This is my domain where I am free to spit my own opinions and vent as honestly as I can. If it strikes a nerve then I suggest you don't read it at all.
I am a pacifist and do not believe in making others feel small. If you wish to do so please divert your attention to some other individual or perhaps blog.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Destiny's Child and Beyonce
It's official, this is my anthem of the moment. Just can't seem to stop listening to it. It sounds great, the lyrics are empowering to me as I'm sure plenty of women and girls around the world find it.
My own childhood was filled with Destiny's Child's music. 'The Writings on the Wall' album was a permanent fixture in the conversations I used to share with friends at school during 5th and 6th grade. At the ages of 10 and 11, I was learning assertiveness and not submissiveness, strength and not weakness and Kelly, Beyonce, Michelle, LaTavia and LeToya had plenty to do with this.
While there seems to be a lot of feminist backlash about the song being an inaccurate portrayal of the gender structure in society, I find the song favourable because as many of these types of songs, it is encouraging and empowering. Women may not occupy equal power positions as it is but with enough work, we could well be on our way to sharing equal footing. The debate is about whether empowering songs of this nature do more harm than good. I would have to argue that they play a positive role in fostering a healthy sense of self which is what most women and girls need anyway given the circumstances of being part of a marginalized group.
Girls running the world may not be the reality now but it sure as hell does not hurt to dream. When I listen to this song, I see images of all the powerful women I know who have made their mark. Though they have had to struggle and found themselves exploited at times, they have given as hard as they could give and that is an accomplishment in itself.
Africa Day Today
Well, I had no idea but kudos to "google" for making me aware!
Mama Africa, though your adversity is steep, you are still loved. How beautiful you are! How lovely your people.
Mama Africa, though your adversity is steep, you are still loved. How beautiful you are! How lovely your people.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Mah Dawgs at the Merridienne Cypha, elke Woensdag
Shout out to Jay-Tip, Green Pantha and that dude who sounds like that dude who isn't Q-Tip in a Tribe Called Quest.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Silenced in Solitude: the sustenance of hegemony
This song strikes a deep chord that resonates in my mind, compelling all the thoughts that lurk in the shadows to elude their fear and bring themselves to light. Fear is a crippler, a useless emotion that I must rid myself of.
Fear of speaking the unspoken and sometimes, just giving rude motherfuckers a solid piece of my mind sans profanity or anger but full of dignity and sensibility.
Again, I thank you Lupe.
Fear of speaking the unspoken and sometimes, just giving rude motherfuckers a solid piece of my mind sans profanity or anger but full of dignity and sensibility.
Again, I thank you Lupe.
@Home_UCT_Res
I commend the photographer for making this desert-place look so cool! Ah, photography...what an art!
Beyonce Backlash: Trollers, How I Love Thee!
So all of a sudden, the 'Unspoken Word' came to life after I made that post about Beyonce. Since then I have:
1. Rejoiced about the fact that I have trolls. Wow, the 'Unpoken Word' finally has some real blogosphere action.
2. Responded to the individuals that do not get my drifted and posted serious-sounding comments about me being a hater.
3. Downloaded the song (yes, I'm a pirate...aaaaargh) and listened to it over at least 30 times.
4. Had my inner-Destiny's-child-loving girl self rejoice about the fact that Beyonce is singing real female empowerment songs again that are not overly sexualized like some of the work she has delivered as a solo artist.
5. Danced around to this song pumping hard through my earphones.
6. Loved the hell out of the song, how she incorporates a South African dance style in the song for all the world to see and appreciate.
7. Had parts of the video play in my head in joyous recollection of how dope it is.
Now, I don't know where the trolls discovered something in my words to attack. It's just a case of subtle misunderstanding because this is quite obviously my new feminist chant.
But trolls, I love you. Reading your comments has brought back a new enthusiasm for blogging that died with along with my reader count.
All I have to say is, "Thank You" and please by all means, keep on trolling. What would the blogosphere be without you entertaining individuals?
Back to Bey....
WHO RUNS THE WORLD...GIRLS BEEEATCHES!!! YEAH!!
Next up: my discussions will revolve around an analysis of women's role in science and the general male response to their presence at all levels of the academia from Undergraduate, Graduate ("Toast to the college grads" - Beyonce) to Doctorate and Professorship level.
1. Rejoiced about the fact that I have trolls. Wow, the 'Unpoken Word' finally has some real blogosphere action.
2. Responded to the individuals that do not get my drifted and posted serious-sounding comments about me being a hater.
3. Downloaded the song (yes, I'm a pirate...aaaaargh) and listened to it over at least 30 times.
4. Had my inner-Destiny's-child-loving girl self rejoice about the fact that Beyonce is singing real female empowerment songs again that are not overly sexualized like some of the work she has delivered as a solo artist.
5. Danced around to this song pumping hard through my earphones.
6. Loved the hell out of the song, how she incorporates a South African dance style in the song for all the world to see and appreciate.
7. Had parts of the video play in my head in joyous recollection of how dope it is.
Now, I don't know where the trolls discovered something in my words to attack. It's just a case of subtle misunderstanding because this is quite obviously my new feminist chant.
But trolls, I love you. Reading your comments has brought back a new enthusiasm for blogging that died with along with my reader count.
All I have to say is, "Thank You" and please by all means, keep on trolling. What would the blogosphere be without you entertaining individuals?
Back to Bey....
WHO RUNS THE WORLD...GIRLS BEEEATCHES!!! YEAH!!
Next up: my discussions will revolve around an analysis of women's role in science and the general male response to their presence at all levels of the academia from Undergraduate, Graduate ("Toast to the college grads" - Beyonce) to Doctorate and Professorship level.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Beyonce Dancing Pantsula
Oh, boy. We have to deal with another carbon-copy of an African-dance style from some artist in the states. First it was that teach me how to dougie which was a straight-up 'Twalatsa' done by Arthur and 999 about 12 years ago over here in South Africa.
Now, it's Beyonce doing semi-awkward pantsula in this:
Now, it's Beyonce doing semi-awkward pantsula in this:
Can't say which one is worse. But I'm glad the song seems to have feminist undertones.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Psychobabble Bullshit at Psychology Today
Whoah, I did not know that this piss-ass publication even existed. Here's a post from Angry Black Woman's website explaining the whole mess.
More from the loon who writes this shit at the Psychology Today Website Satoshi Kanazawa
Excerpt:
Satoshi Kanazawa is an evolutionary psychologist, Reader in Management at the London School of Economics and Political Science, and Honorary Research Fellow in the Department of Psychology at University College London, and in the Department of Psychology at Birkbeck College, University of London. He is the coauthor (with the late Alan S. Miller) of Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters (Perigee, 2007).
Now here's my take on it. A qualification does not nullify the fact that you could very well be insane. Even after studying psychology. Clearly this must be the case. This is yet another example of the perpetuation of scientific racism.
Can racists just give the Black race a break already? Geesh!
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